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  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Sinai
I wish I still smoked
So I could sit on my roof inhaling this misery.

My memories of you are so playful and sweet
(Only since that day they got this undertone of heartbreak)

It was like this roller coaster of falling in love, the one we all know.
But right at my highest point, when I could see the whole city and my heart was racing and you were holding my hand

Right there
You woke me up

And now I will never know how scary and fun the rest of the ride would be. All I know is how I will dream of the possibilities for the rest of my life.
  Jun 2018 Amalinna Zainal
Elizabeth
My heart bears an unfamiliar rhythm,
Restricted, out of key, tone and voice
Silent but still heavily felt
Craving the glimpse of your presence
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and fonder and fonder
Craving a presence I cannot feel but only dream
Holding on to an idea, a wish, a memory
An ocean dehydrating inside of me for reality to occur
But still my vision of you is blurred
Because an idea seems more real than any reality

I create heightened pieces of you in my heart
Yet my mind is not fooled but can clearly see
That You are just an imagination of my desires
And in reality you are nothing more than a simple acquaintance
Not suitable for even the smallest measure of love from my soul
Yet it's not love I feel but passion
Not you but elements of you

Yet the battle between my heart and brain
Make my feelings harder to comprehend
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and fonder...
There is a certain kind of longingness that even words nor photographs cannot fill in.
And that is when, i want to write about you, the most.
This amount of emptiness needs to be said. It needs to flow like the ink in my pen or the the blood in my veins,
to sustain my sanity or else...
Melancholic thoughts will run and invade my mind until all the hope in my heart is gone.
This is my other way of saying i miss you and this is just a part of the whole feeling. I miss you so much J.
  May 2018 Amalinna Zainal
CA Smith
Home is...
Late nights out with friends.
Cold nights in,
tucked by the fire,
with hot cocoa in one hand,
and a book in the other.

Home is...
Safety and security.
Love and warmth.
Sanctuary from heartbreak,
protection from the outside.

Home is...
Crying on your shoulder,
when you are so hurt,
that you think you might just go to sleep,
and never wake up.

Home is...
Lying in bed all day,
staring at the ceiling,
and wondering why you just can't get up.

Home is...
Friends and family.
The past and the future.
The here and the now.

Home is you.
Home is us.
Home is the feeling I get,
when we lie together.
No matter the weather.
No matter the storm.

Home is looking in your eyes,
and hearing "I love you."

Home is reaching inside myself
and finding more than I ever thought possible.

Home is......
Home is wherever I find myself next to you.
  May 2018 Amalinna Zainal
a gale
I have been watching
the sunset again.
Observing how it takes
a dip in the sea
coloring the sky orange.

I'm waiting for you
hoping to bump into you
Maybe you decided to watch it
as I was.
Foolish as it is
I did it anyways
carefully observing

as the sun bids me goodbye
it reminded me of you
that even though you were leaving
I still watched.
Hoping,
maybe this time
it ends differently,
it never does.

Don’t be bothered
I’ll get over it.

Soon,
I’ll laugh about it.

Soon,
I’ll stop looking for you
I’ll stop wondering where you are.
I’ll stop watching sunsets
hoping for you.

Soon.
I’ll get there, dear
Just not today.
Because today,
I’m still chasing the sun
making sure the sunset
never ends.

*a. gale
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