The tide comes in and I walk out,
Out to sea,

I hear the melancholy moan of the breeze,
and feel the waves wash over me,

My brain tells me to go back,
My heart tells me to go on,
To keep treading,
Keep treading along,

Let the salty air out of my lungs,
And the water fill them up,

At first I'm coughing,
Gasping for air,
But after a while,
Calmness is all that is there,

My body is limp,
And my lips are blue,
But my heart is full,
And all that's left to do,

Is drift further out,
'Neath the blue ocean waves,
And there I will be,
Always to stay,

I have a scratched record for a brain,
Its stuck on a loop and sometimes the pain,
Its unbearable,
But the only thing to drown out the noise is more noise,

So my fingers pluck the strings,
My lips shape the words,
And I close my eyes and lose myself,
And the sounds fly away like birds

Some days the sun doesn't shine,
Not because there are clouds in the sky,
But simply because the sun has run out of energy to give,
Run out of heat and people are asking why,

But all he can say is "that's a **** good question",
But he knows exactly why and yet has no idea why,
and maybe that is why the sun doesn't shine today,
Because even he doesn't understand himself.

I want that can't sleep, can't think type of love,
I want the dizzy,dreamy type of love,
I want the kind of love that keeps you dreaming when you aren't even asleep,
I want the type of love that doesn't just give you butterflies in your stomach, but gives you your own wings so that you can fly,
I want the type of love that I have always written poetry about,
And I'm scared that the only place that I will find that type of love is in my thoughts

Often I feel homesick for a place I've never been,
And often I feel the ache of missing a person I have yet to meet,
Perhaps it's feelings that have escaped from an alternate reality,
Or perhaps I am just strange,
And perhaps I will never know which is accurate.

I feel as though I'm not really living my life.
It's as if my life is a black and white movie and I am the lone audience member in a run down theater.
I live day to day feeling as though I am watching myself through blurred lenses and never really knowing exactly who I am.

Who am I?
I know not what to tell you,
There are so many different versions of myself floating around inside of me that I don't know which one is the truth,
I don't know which one is the real me and which are simply images,reflections of a confused and dazed girl.

I am a breathing,living display of irony,
I am the happiest depressed girl you will ever meet,
I am the most confidently insecure girl you will ever know,
I constantly live in a state of calming panic
And most days I feel everything at once yet nothing at all.