I hate you!
Because....
Well
I love you.

Do you think of me,
As much as I think of you?
Because you're the first thing on my mind
When I wake
And the last thing on my mind before I sleep.
Let's just say I think of you all the time.

"what do you want to be when you're older"
*"Happy."

I look happy, don’t I?
there are no cuts on my wrists
all you see
is the smile on my lips
maybe even a spark in my eyes
and all you hear
is me telling everyone i'm fine
maybe even a laugh once in a while

but when will you look deep into my eyes
look beneath the spark and the deep blue
see the emptiness and the darkness in me

   when you will realize
the smile is a facade
i'm not happy, it's fake, i'm hiding my tears
   when you will see
the spark is a blur
i'm not happy, i’m on the edge to tears
   when you will hear
the laugh is a scream
i'm not happy, i’m choking on pain

did you check my heart? it’s filled with scars

*(s.m)

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate -
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I’m so afraid of being that person,
That is known to not have friends,
I’m so afraid of losing yet another friend
That I just keep my mouth shut.
Yes, I would like to voice my opinion,
But there are always consequences with that.
Instead I sit at the back of the room
Behind a group of friends
I pretend like I fit in,
But I know, that I don’t.
My only friends seem to be the lyrics in songs
Songs that I listen to at 2am when everyone else is asleep,
But it is the time when my brain is most awake,
The bursts of creativity,
The bursts of truth flowing through my head,
And it hits me.
Yes I have people I talk to everyday but really
If they could choose between me, the girl at the back of the room
Or the girl they sit next to everyday
Its an obvious answer.
I guess I am afraid of being alone,
But when I think about,
I already am alone.

We

   were

           all

              born

                      to

                          die.