I am breathing
But the air does not
Fill my lungs
Days overlap and melt
Into each other,
Life is slipping like sand
Through the hour glass
I am running out of time
Thoughts of life flash
By my eyes and linger
Closing my eyes,
A familiar gory picture is plastered
On the tip of my eyelids,
I lose inner perspective
As 'Russian Roulette' fades
Back through the speakers,
You know it's messed up when you
Can start relating to that ****
A brush of death,
One flimsy stroke,
On a vast canvas
The remnants of my conscious surrenders
And a lifeless body lies there.
It's lonely you know,
Having so many mental
Disorders reside in you,
Each fighting for survival
And
You can’t make sense of the noise invading your mind like the pungent
Odor of sacrificials
The sound of my voice
Is fading like the echo of sirens Vibrating in a storm
Of dust and sand
Leaving my heart semi dead
Everyday I get up
Pretending not to care,
Pretending not to fall apart
Permitting excuses and lies
It's easier this way,
Pretending not to feel
The strings holding me
Together loosening,
Not to notice my soul
Sinking into the ground
To shake awake the bodies of
Those long buried to help
I am a breathing corpse
Doesn't anybody see?
Don't they see the strange lines
Outlining my brown skin, or
The scars circling my eyes?
Time stands still,
Clutching to the dances
Of sleepless nights
And my nocturnal eyes
Do not see
Anything beyond moonlight
Like they used to.
I am rattling confessions
Disguised in rituals
Of last rites, these words
Floating through my mind
Just let me write them out,
Let me write away