Remember what it felt like to have eyes on you
Most of that is gone now.
But the anxiety isnt gone.
You have no audience but the show must go on
You still have to dance like everyone should be watching even though no body is.
Anxiety is a made up audience.
Make up good caring audiences.
Dont sell your soul to people you wouldnt approve of.
Made up or real.
Dance so you know who you dance for even when they arent there
So maybe if I'd get excited about this thing we are doing for the both of us
You'd catch the fire and we would finally burn twice as bright.
But my dreams of my love for you are a treasure hidden in the ruin that is my heart.
They elude me like a great fairytale read in the middle of a war zone.
All I have for you is patience and a keen awareness of what we are doing-
Staring at each other, asking the other to say something less hope dries out.
But my patience is fading and in its place hails sensibility; the intelligence to move on from a possibility whose process will overwhelm the outcome negatively.
So either way, I stand to loose you;
My almost maybe love, but not quite.
For people in relationships where the loss outweighs the love and y'all are just both exhausted from previous hurt and willing this new love to work by telekinesis that you don't have. Take a deep breath and make a decision to either till the land or go where you mediocre energy level can atlas churn a profit.
I don't want to be presentable,
I want to flow like a river,
bend around rocks,
struggle to get past broken logs in my path,
try to run up banks at a bend then glide back down hill,
pebbles, dry leaves, sticks, seeds, lost items –
abandoned and missed alike..
find them new homes.
fall down cliffs,
form misty specks of upside down rain that refract light when I explode at the bottom.
Run past forests, towns and deserts, adapt and be adapted to.
get to the ocean and just pour myself into – something larger than myself...
a library of river stories,
a place of rest.
A poem for those unwinding from acting civil when they really want to explore being openly reactive.
...drip drip drip drip
The rain is a blanket of sound, a theme song that empties my now, vanquishes me to dreams of two bodies entwined moving to the rhyme of hearts that beat until the melody synchronises to the tune of the rain drips...
...frequent and irregular...
...gasping, he lifts me up body and soul, to demonstrate he can handle me, and my crazy thoughts. I open up, abandon my reservations, then curl my limbs around him, till our souls be only separated by our skin. stretching our all to each other like rain drops do on window panes, willing themselves to reach that next droplet and then running the rest of eternity together...
...happily there after...
...which we all know its facing the world everyday as a unit. having bad days, but working through that pain Finding new heights of excitement and doing old things you like to do again. even when the rain comes and goes, I can always dance to the memory of us
drip drip drip drip...
I don't hate kissing you.
Wait let me start over again.
I love feeling your lips on mine
Like chocolate melting in my mouth
I can almost taste the weight of my worries turn to dust
And I don't know how to live without them.
They wake me up in the morning.
It's not right you know
To have someone else quiet your mind
Draw your attention to a singular moment
How do you do it though?
Will yourself a door in my wall.
Walk right into my space.
And tell me what do to.
It feels a lot like hypnosis.
Like I know the answer but I don't know how
Like I have these feelings but I didn't till for this emotion
Like you know this heart of mine a little too well
It's kind of creepy how bad I want to respond.
I need a second opinion.
I need to have one up you.
To be sure I have control.
You quiet my mind then leave me with questions
Falling for you
It was like skipping the
last step in the dark.
There was a moment of panic,
and then you smiled
at me and I knew,
it was too late.
-- Random Thoughts & Whiskey Courage
It's hard to believe eating an apple got us here sometimes
That the blame game was in that which Eve ate.
That the tasting with ones mouth has a direct link to seeing how naked one can be...
Until your lips fall on another's...
'Cause I blame you for the way I feel, dear.
I've never felt this emotionally bare..
Now I need you to cloth me with love..
Why apples are great for practicing kissing