Oh, and darling
If you asked
for water
I'd bring you the ocean

i once loved a boy
who didn't find solace in my arms
but in his drugs

the shiver of hands
blind without memory
and so,
friendly still
yet sweet like the words
forgotten
to the tremble of lips

quiet
there are no surprises here
rest your eyelids
until they become stone
rest your heart
until it stops

(it beats now only for itself
in some secret place)

tell me
why private thoughts
become so loud and violent
upon our faces that
they peel the layers of skin,
and our own form of sun,
burns us alive inside.
i waited patiently for your breath
like hot summer nights,
a whisper of a wind, a secret
tantalizing, lost in lulls of sleep
and i'm restless in bed,
sheets suffocate me with the
lies of your body, and
ghosts are more familiar
than your scent.
tell me, i screamed it with my
eyes as you slept.
i once held your palm and
felt your fingers slip,
did they reach for hers
instead?

i wish i hadn't talked
i wish i hadn't said anything
i should have bit my tongue
and kept my silence
i didn't want things to get this violent
nothing good comes when i let words escape my mouth
i wish i hadn't said a word
i wish i knew how to drown without spitting up water