i once was free
but i let you tie my hands, my feet
and tighten,
until the person i was
evaporated
with ropes, chains, prison bars
you held me up until i forgot
how to stand without you

i once was free
but i let you drown me,
despondent at the bottom of the sea.
i waited so long to breathe
choking, gasping, panicking,
until i didn't care
to breathe anymore;
until i didn't know how to.

i once was free,
but like fire ravaging underfoot,
i let you consume me.
you chewed away at my sanity
with every bite
counting, measuring, running
just until the fat was gone
until i,
was gone.

i once was free,
but then you pushed me
a little too far this time
who knew i would end up here.
"i just wanted to be skinny"
i repeated
"i just wanted to be skinny"
until all i wanted was to be
dead.

and there i was,
holding on by a string.
the same string you tied
around my waist, and then,
around my neck
and pulled tighter,
tighter,
i once was free.

Shrink yourself
Oh she's fading away
Hold her bones together
As the movies play

When a diet becomes an addiction
I felt myself give in
My mind was hooked on these
Skinny thoughts

Bones dance in my dreams
And I couldn't be shaken awake
Yes I'll be skinny like the others
Beautiful like I want

But there's nothing beautiful
About your hair falling out
And passing out and hitting your head
And freezing in the summer
And constantly falling asleep

There's nothing cute about
***** in your hair
And on your clothes
****** noses
And aching bones

Nothing glamorous behind that bathroom door
Just a stupid girl
With her head stuck half way down the pipes

Twisted,
Falling,
I feel my wings crumple and fail,
I plummet slowly to the the earth.

My heart is,
Breaking,
I feel my hopes falling to pieces,
I will hit the ground too hard.

My mind is,
Fading,
I feel my safety ending,
The ground rises to meet me.

My vision's,
Failing,
I am blinded now,
For I have hit the ground.

you think i don't know
         how much
         you want
             to be
            small
              thin
              (air)

oh, ­                   darling
but                     i do
i        want         you
(almost)          (nearly)
just as              much

              i
            want
            you
           with
           all the
           fibers
           of my
           bones

you                       say
you  want             to  
be        pretty  for me    
be                     skinny          
for me           strong
for                        me

i                        sa­w        
you  waste      away
from      flesh     to  
skin          to bones
to air         then no-
thing             at all

i want you to feel
ha-
ppy
but you aren't happy
till
you
aren't you anymore

i begged you to stop
but you               just
brushed           me  off
you were too far in
and              too far
gone           a hopeless
case               of sorts

"Thinner"
The ever-present goal
The cause of raging jealousy
The trigger of self-harm
"Thinner"

"Thinner,"* it's all they hear

Ad after ad, person after person. "Thinner."

Whispers followed by whispers all on top of whispers become
Screaming
"Thinner."

"One pound," they tell you, "it's equivalent to acceptance," and
"the smaller the weight," you see, "the stronger the beauty."

"Look like her and maybe you'll be satisfied."
"Loose the weight, then you'll be free."

                                                                But
                                                      OH, MY DEAR
                                                      Let me tell you...
                                                     It's never enough.

I hear those lies that have been disguised as encouragement and the blasphemy pretending to be wise.
But please, listen; none of it's true.
This worlds' evil, it has you hypnotized.
You're beautiful. Stunning. * You.
Don't listen* to the voices shouting,
*"Thinner"