I would bend myself in half and break bones
if it meant I could kiss your lips.

I would break down doors
  if it meant you were behind them,
waiting for me.

I would eat all of the foods I hate
if it meant I got to have dinner
with you.

I would watch films I despised
if it meant I got to take you
to the movies and see you smile
at your favorite parts.

I would run a marathon
if it meant you'd be at the finish line
waiting to greet me.

If only I could bore
Into your skull
Hotwire your thoughts

If only I could crack
Open your chest
Steal your heart back

If only I could tap
Into your spine
Turn that noodle to stone

If only I could slice
Open your belly
Show you what guts look like

If only I could tear
You another hole
Would you put my love there?

Blame it on
Your absent father
Your addict mother
Your unexpected children
Blame it on
Anyone, and anything
So you never have to
Take responsibility
For your own actions

It's the whiskey
That hit me
It's my own shards
That tore me apart
It's a malevolent God
That lied about love
'Cause you don't do anything

Blame it on
My fragile psyche
My insecurities
My "impossible" needs
Blame it on
Anyone, and anything
So you never have to
Take responsibility
For what you've done to me

It's the cigarettes
That stole my breath
The weight of my expectations
That broke my trust
The spinning of my own wheels
That drove me into madness
'Cause you don't do anything

**** it
I'll go home
Soon as I’m ******
What’s another night on my own?

Let these wandering feet take me wherever they may go
No peace at home
Or within my bones
I never pick up the phone
But I wait all night
Hoping to get these words right
Like someone else just might
Ask me what I have to say
And just like every other day
The chance slips away
They say
It’s never been the problem
But how we face it
And let's face it
There’s no changing this
Starting to think I’m better off wasted
So I don’t have to face this
Take a bottle to the face
No chaser
I swear to you
This isn't her
She’s just a little unsure
Feeling impure
And increasingly insecure
About nothing in particular
Have you noticed how she avoids the mirror?
Is that any way to live life
A prisoner of your own fear?
Distancing yourself from all you hold dear
Just in case the end is near
This much is clear
You’ll never escape strife if you can’t put down the knife
You’ll never know love if you can’t rise above
Forgive yourself for the things you can’t control
Or it will start to take its toll
Like poison to the soul
You’ll never feel whole
Until someone passes you the bowl
And you start to tumble down the rabbit hole
With no control over where you’ll go
Time moves slow
Thoughts flow to and fro
Comes and goes
Highs and lows
Either way
I know
I’ll end up in bed
Alone
******
Listening to these headphones
Humming along to a melody that no one knows