I stand on the dawn of a new existence,
Dawn of a new
Me.
The way it's been
Battling
the way it will be
Past,
Playing peek a boo with
Now.
Soft breeze hitting my shoulder
Feels just like then.
Another breeze carrying scent,
Now I'm there
Cutting lilacs from the bush to bring
Inside.
One more breeze,
Twisting and dancing with song,
Me floating back to a passenger seat
Singing along, silly and safe
Smile from then moving my lips into the same
Position.
Strangers passing, some notice
Guessing what could be making this
Solitary woman smile to
Herself.
Wind picks up again,
This time it gently pushes a
Wisp of cigarette smoke.
I can see him exhale it, between
Fits, rampages.
Watch it leave it his lips and sit
Stale in the air
Taunting me, teasing me, slithering into my
Baby lungs
Trying to force me to cough, disturb
Him another reason to
Rage.
Sibling breeze tickles my ear with a man's voice
"Breathe, just breathe"
Back in that room again, radio his co-conspirator,
Hiding my screams with
Prodigy.  
"Breathe baby" one hit wonder, one hit noone remembers, except me. Thier one hit forever
Entwined with my one virginity,
Stolen by a boy
Breeze has cooled,
It kisses my shoulders, icy
Lips. I feel snow creeping down my neck,
Feel my eyes frantically looking,
Feel my throat trying to yell,
Amazed I can't even get death right,
Wondering what damage was done in the
Descent.

I'm home, in the now.
Body still damp from shower,
Droplets of water fall from wet hair,
Run down neck
Dissappear under shirt.
Cut off the fan,  enough breeze for one day
News is on, weather up next,
Tomorrow will be warm and windy.
I sigh, curl under blankets, ready for
Retreat into sleep
In the morning I wake, ready for sleepy entanglement.
I make love to the past,
Kiss it goodbye

Dawn turns to day and freshness
Begins.

If we are all created equal, then who needs class?
If we are all created equal, why did the projects last?
If we are all created equal, is the only difference, our paths?
If we are all created equal, then where's my other half?
If we are all created equal, then why do I even need to ask?
If we are all created equal, then why didn't it last?

one thing I've noticed about tacoma
is how many churches there are.
there's one about every three blocks.
and here I am, on my way to the hospital
counting all the churches on the way
starving myself under the grey clouds
to make room in my stomach
for your body and your blood
that pours from your veins like merlot
every time you get drunk
and then split your lip
on some nameless disciple's fist.
so I get it.
maybe we're all just looking for someone to worship

Beyond the pillars of my once shining life
Stand the giants who hold it all together
Tears stream down their faces
As they claw at the earth beneath my feet
Holding up whatever it is they think is left to hold

My life, now ruined
Was once looked upon with gloried gazes.
As pure and white as sculptors marble
My life burned with the promise of more
Yet more became less
And less became nothing

Gone are the days when men would marvel at my flowing hair,
My bright brown eyes.
All that's left is dull and dead
Like a fish barely breathing on the hook,
My flesh is torn with ever **** and twitch
And my screams echo
Like crystal chimes in an empty room

I stand alone atop my broken throne
And gaze upon my kingdom.
I watch the giants tears drown the memories I once loved
And I watch the ground beneath their feet crumble and break away
Yet I don't run
I saw this in hindsight, I knew I would break
But I always thought I'd destroy myself on my own terms.
I never thought you'd be the one
To smash my kingdom to tiny bits
But I should have known.
*I should have known.