Every voice in my head is screaming so ******* loud, someone please save me.

Self hate will always outweight self love. Every moment of my life.

That one thing i craved for..
Only you didn't know
Always on my mind
a drug, poisoning me
A sick addiction
Cutting me off from reality

Each time you pulled me closer
Each time i felt you better
Each time you treaded me more the way i wished for
A one night stand
But the day after i didn't exist anymore

The torture of being nothing
Nothing more than a pleasure
Just a toy, what could i do
Everything was fine with me
As long as i could see you

Never an explanation
Till the day we got together
You cherished me
Like a wolf in sheep skin
And i, the sheep, was trapped
As you kissed my neck
Calling me 'his girl'

You told me you love me
You told me you're afraid i'll leave
You told me you're a selfish man
You told me you're struggling with yourself
The voices, they keep talking to you
I know you're scared
But i love you too.

Now we're here
There's nothing left
No tensity just insanity
You're The razor on my wrist
But the cuts relieve the pain
My biggest mistake but yet my happiness

Afraid to lose you
Pretending I'm fine
Exhausted of waiting
Too Scared to stand up
craving for your attention
waiting patiently till it's my time

You pull me closer to the edge
Pushing me further away from you
Just A tread saving me from the abyss
It's like waiting for the end
Wondering what you're holding behind your back.

Preparing for another day
Closing my eyes as a tear slips through my lashes
Wetting my pillow
Leaving a black stain
Trying to sleep, my thoughts keep me awake.

As i wrap my hands around your neck, holding my breath
Counting to three...
The razor cuts me again
So relieving, but still feels so wrong
I love you and With knives in my heart
I decide to give you one more chance
The last chance

Like i gave yesterday...

He says I am the most interesting person he knows
I just laugh and pull him towards me and hug him close

He gets distracted by the T.V and I understand
That I mean the world to him, but his mind wonders

I always shiver when he tells me he loves me
Me, not anyone else, just me that he loves me

He knows that I've fallen in love so many times
Yet he believes in my broken heart, he knows I'm faithful

I fell in love with his honest ways, the way his eyes shined
I didn't fall in love with his body, as I have done that before

I fell for his truth, the way he came right up to me and talked to me
He talked to me first and he never knew how much that meant...

He fell for me before I fell for him, but once I fell, I fell so hard
I've always been afraid of love, afraid of needing someone so much

He knows I'm the queen of fictional love... And yet he trusts me
I do not understand this kind of faith... Yet I have craved it my whole life

Gone are all thoughts of past lovers, no more poems about them
He has gently dominated my mind and conquered what others only dream about

I know I'm not the best person in the world, I'm not the most prettiest girl
But when he tells me he loves me, I literally shine, at least my eyes do

A warmth comes upon my cold heart, soul and mind
When he comes around it is like I become Alaska in summertime

He melts the ice around my soul and makes me want to sing
I have never felt so safe with a guy... Have never known such comfort...

If he were a food he would have to be the most cheesiest of Mac And Cheese
I hope my darkness doesn't seep into his soul... I hope he doesn't change...

My fears are real, so very real... If he leaves me now I don't know what I would do
He makes me so happy and yet he calls himself boring

I just laugh and hold him so very close, for he doesn't know just how much
I love him... How much his love has changed my life...

I told you all I had to say.
It's been exactly 6 hours since you read it with no reply.
No reply.
No reply.
No reply.
And that's all I'm ever going to remember.

But if I had a daughter, a young woman
I saw drowning in needless pain,

I would say to her:

Are you certain you would be happy,

if only:

you got him back,
or he wanted you back,
or you lived somewhere else
or you were someone else
or were taller, shorter,
thinner, stronger, weaker
just different,
anyone, anywhere, anytime
but yourself?

Sorry, but you are you. Be you.
Insist upon yourself. Be fierce
in your resolve. Men are in awe
of fierce women, really.
Take back your heart.
It belongs to you alone.

You do not need to be fixed, so don't
look for someone else to do the job.

Remember: "You're only pretty as you feel,
only pretty as you feel inside."

And on that there are no limits
except the ones you create.

But then, I never had a daughter,
so what do I know?

   'mce

the stars are out tonight
trying to call out your name
trying to get you to notice them
do you feel small?
take into consideration
the same God that made millions of stars
also made you
perfect in his image
you are exactly who you are
supposed to be
don't take that for granted