I watch the chatter of long time friends
The jealousy's blooming
It will never end
The thing that's always been there that refuses to let go
This ***** named jealousy is the only friend I know.

new year, new me.
old year, old me.

why can't i separate my problems, one from the other?
they just carry over.

I sound like him; we write poetry the same
and the silk flows from our lips creating a road
to the unknown dustiness that is passion.
we are splattered paint.

i am negative like her; we expect too much
from ourselves and from others in such
a fashion as to make our lives and those of others
completely and totally miserable.

i am the lone feather drifting into the weathered
blue green sheet that is the ocean.

the question is whether i will sink
or i will float.

I sat alone today,
and I felt absolutely free.
The air was crisper,
My shoulders were lighter,
I felt like I could fly.

The weights on my ankles disappeared,
the spring in my step returned.
I haven't felt so alive in months,
and all because I left you.

Sand slips through the cracks in my hands
As a struggle to keep it close.
It always finds a way to go,
No matter how tight I hold.
My grip must be weak,
Or maybe it’s betraying me.
Because a better part of me knows
The sand will always slip away.

If I asked any of you, all of you,
for help

What would you do?

The water splashes against my back
Warm, but as soon as it touches my skin, cold

My left cheek twinges, numb-ish
Oh my gosh, that means something doesn't it?
What is it a sign for again? Heart attack?
No, stroke. Oh my gosh, am I going to have a stroke?

That's ridiculous, you're seventeen.
But it could happen!
It's not a stroke. You're being stupid. It's just the anxiety.
I grimace at the glass door, feeling my face to see if it moves properly.

Oh my gosh, what if it was a spider?
I felt my toe catch on something before, that must've been it biting me.
It's a neurotoxin, I'm going to die soon.
I'm almost crying.
I thought you didn't care if you died.
I frantically slap my hands at the ground, but obviously, there's no spider there.

It could've gone down the drain.
Or I could've been bit before.
What about the creepy spider that lives by the basement stairs?
I bet I accidentally brushed by it, it bit me! I'm about to die!

You're insane, you know that right?
Breathe
It's nothing, random pains and feelings happen sometimes
It's going to be okay

It's going to be okay

To all those who I've met these past years
And those I'll meet in the next
To those I've let go
Those whom I've somehow grown even closer to
And those I do not know

This year is going to be like all the others
Never easy, day after tired day
But I hope this year brings you light and love as well

May you find passion and purpose, hope and happiness
Whatever black, white or grey times are on their way
May you discover new strengths and stay up late to watch the stars

I hope you remember how it feels to love yourself this year
I hope you taste what it means to be alive

And may this new year bring you all the best that life can bring.