It all starts small.
I don't want to do my homework.
I don't want to go to school.
I don't want to see my family.
I don't want to see my friends.
I don't want to go out.
I don't want to have fun.
I don't want to get dressed.
I don't want to eat.
I don't want to get out of bed.
I don't want to wake up.
I don't want to live.

I'm scared.
I'm scared one day I won't see the light I see now.
I'm scared something will tip me off and I'll go far off the edge.
I've escalated once, I don't want to go back.
I'm terrified.
Please if you're out there,
Don't let me off this earth.
I don't want to go

Isn't it funny
how she didn't even flinch
when that block of wood
came crashing down right next to her head?
They laugh
All I did was blink

*Yes, isn't that funny?

I hate stepping on hot coals.
I try to avoid them,
but it takes a lot of energy and persistence.
I thought eventually a callus would form,
that way my feet would be numbed from the burn.
Turns out, that's not how the body works.
When again can I walk down a sidewalk,
instead of the burning path to hell?  

*the serpent slithers away into the darkness,
knowledge gained, and is ready to fire

I wake up.
Tear stained pillow,
Blankets thrown everywhere.

I have to get up.
It takes so much energy,
to push my body onto the paper covered floor.

I don't want to get up.
Wrapping myself in what's left of the blankets,
wincing at the pain felt as my body moves.

I lay there.
Mind whirls already of things that must be accomplished.
Can't I have just a moment of peace?

I get up.
My body aches as I step over the forgotten homework and ***** laundry,
Dizzyness and Lightheadedness cause me to stumble my way to my closet.

I walk.
Putting on clothes to cover the night before,
and starring at the unrecognizable figure before me in the mirror.

I get ready.
Making food that I'm never hungry for anyways,
and forcing my eyes to stay open.

I leave.
To go to a place I am scared to be in,
but sometimes is better than the place I left.

Sixteenth Note.
Hard to keep up with, Hard to understand.
Can be played only by some, those with experience.

Whole Note.*
Keeps everything together, all in one.
Everyone can play, but doesn't take away from it's worth.