It took three years to bury myself
Amidst the reckless notions of preservation
But, I wrapped up my distress, deeply within my skin
Writing the answers on my hand, and forgetting that they were there

I bathed in spite, three times-a-day
And, ran from sober thoughts:
To build a persona, an alter ego
Then, to remember what I had forgotten

I live in my imagining--
The present is much too distraught
So, I fall off of the cliff, with Epimetheus
Until my heart is plundered by a fleet of Visigoths

There are skeletons, pumping through my veins
Though, I pretend they're gone--
I hear my conscience screaming at me
So, I put the cork back in the bottle...

It's been three sunrises since my eyes have closed
Ain't had a drink in one long week
There's toil and trouble, my brain is like rubble
My vision is blurry
Mine eyes doth see double

My conscience has not been acquitted
I sold it to the highest bidder
My brain is a mess, a pawn within chess
By my demons, I've been slighted
There's much to confess

Ambition had been twisted in unscrupulous knots
I stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun rose
My mind is a maze; I've been up for days
My stomach is empty
My demons sing praise

I haphazardly buried my reckless past
Indeed, it repaid me with a cruel vengeance
Collecting my fears through so many years
I've poisoned my body
With too many beers...

A stranger to my apathy--
I don't know what to do
For, deep inside, I am not free:
I yearn to be like you

I don't know what I'm doing, Love
I send my heart below
When Push Becomes A Violent Shove
There's nothing left to show

For, I'm aware of what I feel:
Still foreign to my peer
Yet, I am blind to what is real:
To Lie is my career

I sleep in ambiguity
Then live unlike the rest
For, deep inside, I am not free
And, all untruth is dressed...

'I left my dreams in the sand...
On a beach, named Weirs
With a plights of distaste...
...and, one more demon for each freckle on Her face'

The smoke cleared between my eyes
I wrestled with each plagued notion of solace
My indifference indentured every passing second--
Here, I am the only fool

There is no place to flee from this silence
The past is all that speaks
Reflection is Epimethius' lover:
I am staggering to relieve all which haunts me

This callous heart of stone defeats me
I deceive my own endeavors
These two eyes have seen far too much
As they fall back into their defense...

Do you see the dissension within my eyes?
I stumble throughout this feverishly manipulated age
The minds of children are enslaved by their reflective masters
We yearn to destroy what Reason had painstakingly divulged

My intention marinates in this silence
I deafen its egregious cries
This past will not pass
While the mirror mocks my demons and I

My once lively will recedes beneath my synapses
These demons wonder why they still wander
With two eyes, I had to see too much
Indeed, I sold their sense of solace

Our lives are fevered dreams
Unspoken in their indignant dejection
Filled with volition, we reap what we sow--
Imprudently awaiting our own funerals...

I'm born to division, envision my pride
Tormented by panic and all which I hide
Bereft through my senses, I'm struck as I run
With demons as captors; my loss is their fun
Embittered by sorrow, I don't see what's next:
I'm vexed by dissension, but hide in my text

You're king of our heartache with little to show
Engulfed in our sorrow; it's all which you know
You're feigning completion, and losing your mind
A slave to your culture; you're petty and blind
In time, you are caught by the traps which you set
There's much to remember, but more to forget

We cling to the fleeting, and dawn a disguise
We're sullen and feckless; we're trapped by our lies
Amidst our ambition, we run for the door
We gave up, in silence, while searching for more
Tormented by Reason: we don't feel the same
We play with our heartstrings as if it's a game...

I'm bested by anxiety
And, all which I create
Amidst my heart's insanity:
I'm everything I hate

It's clear to me, to age from youth:
We're barren to the grave
I have ten lies for every truth--
[For each sin I forgave]

I don't know what I'm doing here
I waltz from place-to-place
Your whispers fill my feeble ear
It's written on my face

Embittered by my solitude
I'm barely still alive
My demons had their will renewed
Beneath my nerves, they thrive...

I writhe in my anxiety:
A ghost of what has passed
Such solace fled so far from me
My hopes are failing fast

I gave up of my will to love
Love soon had turned to blame
When push becomes a violent shove
The bottle called my name

This Hell is where I made my bed
Where all my demons thrive
At once, my conscience turned and fled
I'm lucky I'm alive

It's been ten years since I felt well
When then, I lost my hope
I writhe in my genetic spell
My brain can barely cope...

You crawl beneath my timid heart
Deploying those feeble desires
I speak with vivacious eloquence
But, I have not changed my reasoning--

Or, lack there of

I dive, head-strongly, into the same folly
Dreaming dreams I've halfheartedly dreamed before
With vehemence as my blind witness:
I stab at the sands, to search for sentiment

Or, lack there of

[The sentiment I had unnervingly hurled into the sea]
There is nothing to gain from this redundant Intention
Crestfallen, it follows me, with all of my lost chances
And, I have Run...out of places to peddle my Love

Or, lack there of...

The sirens will play
Blood on the highway
Such hazardous parts:
Our menacing hearts

Reason was blinded
Lust hadn't minded
So hopelessly vexed:
We dreaded what's next

Our schemes were derailed
We tried and we failed
She lives by my pen:
Destroyer of Men

Our schemes had begun
My demons had fun
So surely, I find:
I'm losing my mind

In dreams, she appears
I'm plagued by my fears
In silence, we flee:
Regret, death, and me

So solemn and crossed
I'm helplessly lost
Where once she had fled:
She's trapped in my head...

I took a trip down to where my life went off-track
To tear up aspiration, once-and-for-all
But, I've been trying with all of my treacherous might:
To pretend that I don't want little pieces back

To retrieve my schemes, which once were dreams:
I delve into the synapses, of which I wished were contrived
As an indentured servant of a past which hasn't passed
Apparently, my heart's omission is exactly as it seems

Two witnesses agree: each third angel will fall
What I proposed as wit, I need to forget
I failed to surmount my own conscience
The will I contracted was feeble to sprawl

Who heard heralded heartstrings here in my heinous Hell?
Through a system of tweaked perceptions:
Of odious arrays of distinctive dishonor
But: I guess, all my demons have known me so well...

Antisocial mediums
Sacrifice to the brazen bull
All for one, and one more fleeting night
Light the Tinder up

Stalk me on TikTok
My eyes haven't Faced
A Book in my
Entire life

I Reddit on X
I'm addicted to ***
In an Instant:
My morals aren't worth a Gram

Before we Chat
Let me hide my real self
In a Snap:
I'm Linked In to this charade

I Draft a King's self portrait in my own perception
Jamie Foxx made me do it
To keep my mind off this:
I will lease another iPhone on credit...

I bathe in lust and spite
My conscience doesn't feel right
The obscurity helps us writhe

This awkward silence embraces
We tried and failed to start once again
So, let's forget our faces

Eyes wide open at four AM
I wish, for once, that I could finally sleep
But, sorrow sown, I stolidly reap

Despite my intention, I boldly lied
I aspired to change, but never tried
Due to my inert intention, I conceded my mind

I opened my mouth, but forgot what to say
I left blood on that lonely highway
To the Devil's chagrin, I took two steps back again

I opened my eyes, but couldn't see
Opaque ambition is far from me
I'm Anxiety's best friend

If I have to be...

My ego constructs simple lies
Desensitized
I'm bounded by such subtle dreams
Dissension comes to comfort me

It's all how it seems:
I'll see you in my dreams
There's nothing left to lose
I saw Lucifer fall, like lightening

This brain is foolhardy
Welcome to my pity-party
Regret rears its reckless head
I trade my conscience for fevered dreams

I give up with all my might
'The words I write are cheap and trite'
My feeble will was calm and collected
But soon: I gave up the ghost

This is not what I imagined
I still hear her tepid cries
Trapped within her yayo skin
Still: my conscience cuts me down to size...