Her heart is unobtainable
She haunts me in my sleep
My will is not sustainable
There's nothing left to keep

I've seen Her in my better dreams
But, they're too far away
At night, Her livid heart still screams:
'Why can't you let me stay?!'

I feel Her still, aside my brain
She's trying to get in
I'll lose my mind if she'll remain
So, don't let Love begin

I crumble, deep inside this text
My heart's a bitter crutch
When all I know is quickly vexed
I treat my dreams as such...

Acute to the place from where my regret will stem
It's 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn
Anxiety floods my synapses

Regret is a dish best served deceived
With my own two ears, I heard the truth
But, I still had not believed

I speak from a place of squandered ambition
Of fecklessly feeble, and imprudent volition
I buried my treasure, and forgot where it was when I turned around

Indulging my sloth, my lust, and pride
My conscience was seemingly silent
Though many times, I should have died

I sold my costly soul at once, to buy a gin and tonic
Hello my name is Adam, and I'm a hopeless alcoholic
So, at 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn

And, my tenuous will fell asleep already...

You crawl beneath my timid heart
Deploying those feeble desires
I speak with vivacious eloquence
But, I have not changed my reasoning--

Or, lack there of

I dive, head-strongly, into the same folly
Dreaming dreams I've halfheartedly dreamed before
With vehemence as my blind witness:
I stab at the sands, to search for sentiment

Or, lack there of

[The sentiment I had unnervingly hurled into the sea]
There is nothing to gain from this redundant Intention
Crestfallen, it follows me, with all of my lost chances
And, I have Run...out of places to peddle my Love

Or, lack there of...

It's been three sunrises since my eyes have closed
Ain't had a drink in one long week
There's toil and trouble, my brain is like rubble
My vision is blurry
Mine eyes doth see double

My conscience has not been acquitted
I sold it to the highest bidder
My brain is a mess, a pawn within chess
By my demons, I've been slighted
There's much to confess

Ambition had been twisted in unscrupulous knots
I stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun rose
My mind is a maze; I've been up for days
My stomach is empty
My demons sing praise

I haphazardly buried my reckless past
Indeed, it repaid me with a cruel vengeance
Collecting my fears through so many years
I've poisoned my body
With too many beers...

I writhe in ambiguity
Though the past would send their best
My will is lazily over-thrown
As I build my own gallows

I hit bedrock--
Yet still, frantically dig with more fervor
My mind is an empire on the brink of collapse
With Regret as my only ally

I threw my aspiration to the wolves
Dreaming is but a subtle luxury:
'My vivid hallucination of deceit'
Pawns have put my king in check

The side of life cries to me
I feverishly run to my grave
My heart is the product of my own dissent
Indeed, my own Intention mocks me

I am a puppet, sewn to these vices
Comfort escapes from me
My anxiety is the sum of a plethora of sins
So, when will I be written out of the story?...

I stumble recklessly through my timid thoughts
This bridled resentment destroys my conscience
Despite my intention, I ceded my morals
The morale of my virtue plummets by the second

Dissension among my synapses seethes to the surface
I am a house divided against itself
Regret lovingly entices my bloodthirsty demons
She shrugs surely with shivering shame

With my vision impaired, my dreams are soundly asleep
Kept calmly in this cavern of my cantankerous crimes
My respite is met with malice and spite
I cannot escape what these two hands have done

My distress is hidden in silence
I had already dashed my untarnished ambition
I awaken in sweat and confusion
As an empty bottle mocks me with cruel contempt...

Ingrained is my reality?
I lose it all the time
There's someone here who's not quite me
My heart ain't worth a dime

My fear is not of consequence
It never really stayed
This vivid heart is on the fence
So many times, betrayed

Am I content with all I lose--
When I just play it cool?
I live a Life I should not choose
For that, I am a fool

I do so much imagining
Yet, where do I return?
Just what does this intention bring...
...When I cannot discern?

So quickly, I had sold my heart
My patience practiced me
Is what I'm writing truly art
Or, all which I can't see?

My Sleeping Beauty never wakes
And soon, I will recall:
I know this much, we both are fakes
We never feel at all...

I'm bested by anxiety
And, all which I create
Amidst my heart's insanity:
I'm everything I hate

It's clear to me, to age from youth:
We're barren to the grave
I have ten lies for every truth--
[For each sin I forgave]

I don't know what I'm doing here
I waltz from place-to-place
Your whispers fill my feeble ear
It's written on my face

Embittered by my solitude
I'm barely still alive
My demons had their will renewed
Beneath my nerves, they thrive...

I left my heart in the sand
On a beach, named Weirs
With a plight of distaste
And, a demon for every freckle on Her face...

I'm wasted by my apathy
I'm barely even here
My will knows Ambiguity:
A grievance for my peer

I rarely Love my fellow man
Or, practice what I preach
Deception is my biggest fan
My Dreams are out of reach

I live as Epimetheus:
And, run from each mistake
I hide my Lies, like most of us
And, give much less than take

I lust to see my Ego fed
To hope this Lie is true
But, deep inside, I feel I'm dead--
Pretending, just like you...

The sirens will play
Blood on the highway
Such hazardous parts:
Our menacing hearts

Reason was blinded
Lust hadn't minded
So hopelessly vexed:
We dreaded what's next

Our schemes were derailed
We tried and we failed
She lives by my pen:
Destroyer of Men

Our schemes had begun
My demons had fun
So surely, I find:
I'm losing my mind

In dreams, she appears
I'm plagued by my fears
In silence, we flee:
Regret, death, and me

So solemn and crossed
I'm helplessly lost
Where once she had fled:
She's trapped in my head...

Pathological Liars, support buyers
Worthless medals on their chests
JP Morgan's Hand-puppet speaks:

They have you screaming, yea or nay
With their hands making your heart strings dance
As you throw your soul at the Golden Calf

Your fingers are on your phone screen
While their fingers are on the trigger
Trusting in your pin-pointed amnesia

Twenty-five times that badge takes your life
While you get 25-to-life for vending plants
Have you seen this backwards plan?

The Government among us is as skewed
As the lines in
this
poem...

Discord is unbridled behind my eyes
I cannot indulge this silence
My conscience is tangled within my senses
Heading towards a past which has not passed

I had a date with Ambition
But, went home with Addiction
She gave birth to Affliction
I am a father, now, to guilt

We sprint, fleetingly, from an idle mind
Forging more treacherous motives
Anxiety is the Queen of my Disposition—
Indulging the vexing discourse within my bones…

It took three years to bury myself
Amidst the reckless notions of preservation
But, I wrapped up my distress, deeply within my skin
Writing the answers on my hand, and forgetting that they were there

I bathed in spite, three times-a-day
And, ran from sober thoughts:
To build a persona, an alter ego
Then, to remember what I had forgotten

I live in my imagining--
The present is much too distraught
So, I fall off of the cliff, with Epimetheus
Until my heart is plundered by a fleet of Visigoths

There are skeletons, pumping through my veins
Though, I pretend they're gone--
I hear my conscience screaming at me
So, I put the cork back in the bottle...

I bathe in ineptitude--
Adjacent to grief
Returning to folly--
I'm chasing my ghost

We're breeding dissension--
With hearts made from silence
We hire duplicity--
And, plot our demise

We yearn for relation--
But, speak to a Robot
Devoid of ambition--
We live in our Dreams

Inert in supercilious nature--
Buried in pages
We're training our synapses--
[To...not...feel...a...thing]

The way which we're living--
It's closer to dying
But, we're just pretending--
We aren't the same

I gaze in the mirror:
A ghost of Intention
I wake in the discord
With my head down, iWalk...

I wander in wonder, a kin to dysfunction
Cruel silence stole solace from these feeble fingertips
Adrift, my memories spurn my conscience, coercing calamity

All which I have retained is bitter self-loathing:
A quiet and fleeting contention to vex all I have known
My motives have melted, like wax wings in the sunlight

Catharsis is for the strong of heart, not the bullheaded
By no means have I escaped this labyrinth
My blood is on my own two hands

These erratic desires have turned bitterly against me
Discord is unbridled between these once cordial synapses
As unkempt remorse refuses to flee...

Of All My Intention: choleric and kind
I built an excursion, still feckless and blind
Through all of the chances I seldom had placed:
My mind was mistaken, my heart was defaced
I fell for a Dreamer, and She fell for me
With All Our Intention, our eyes couldn't see

When silence was golden, we fell for much less
There's much to remember, and more to confess
What hearts had we planted with all of our schemes?
We dream in the Darkness, and live in our dreams
Our Reason is chained to irrational castes
We yearned for the future, and buried our pasts

What once was ambition had turned into dust
From Love to affection, affection to lust
Our faces show sorrow; they come out at night
With each new perception, our hearts had grown trite
These hearts we had melded were built in the dark
From All Our Intention, our Fears disembark...

How many more unarmed people need to get shot by cops with no repercussion?...

How many more times will a cop get 1-4 years for involuntary manslaughter instead of second or first degree ****** when the prerequisites for "duty" directly contradict the plausible notions of involuntary manslaughter?...

How many more times will chiefs of police feed you the story that they were unaware of internal corruption which took place on a wide scale for decades?...

How many more times will a cop's ****** case get thrown out in the name of 'self-defense' when there are a dozen or more bullet wounds in the deceased victim?...

How many videos need to be released of cops tasering or pepper spraying people who are already face-down on the ground, handcuffed, with no ramifications?...

How many more times will witnesses to police brutality and police ****** (or murders conducted by politicians) 'disappear,' or 'die in an accident' before the trail?...

How many more cops will **** women with no charges before the American public cares?...

How many "internal police investigations" or internal government investigations" need to be conducted with no result before the American public realizes that police and politicians get special treatment or exemptions from the law which they create and "uphold"?...

In antithesis, how much longer will someone get life in prison or the death penalty for killing a cop when that same cop would get ten years if the tables were turned (Given that the policeman or policewoman is even convicted)?...

I forged my dreams in the mire of regret
The past had not passed me for long
The angel of Death awaits my plea of ignorance
While the sands of time bury my aspiration

I acknowledge my mistakes
Yet, do not learn from them--
Walking backward with Epimetheus off the cliff
My disdain surmounts my discerning heart's integrity

Between me, myself, and I
We produce the same Lie
Gouging out my eyes to spite my mind
I am solely affixed to its lack of fervor

My descent into dissent imprisons me
This island is no longer a paradise
I cannot run from my own mind
But, I can turn down the volume, just for tonight...

A vivid ambition pursues me--
I trip, head-long, into frivilous deceit
My heartstrings quiver with envy
Solace evades its temperament

The perception I had peddled fled from me
Its estranged discourse won't stay grounded
My heart beats like the empty seconds
Here, deceit is my faceless mistress

My mind is aligned to naïve regret--
Tossing and turning throughout the night
I gave up my morals in seconds
Now, I am my own Accuser**

A mind in crisis precedes me--
There is no place to crawl towards volition
I fight tooth-and-nail with my conscience
In the end: The Silence Overtakes Us...

"Let's drink to forgetting while losing our heads
Let's die on the highway, and live in our beds"

We gambled with Reason, and lost every bet
There's much to remember, and more to forget

In time, Love allured me through all of my doubt
But when my mouth opens, will daggers come out?

I fell for a dreamer, and She fell for me
But, we're just pretending that we will be free

Bright green, like my envy: Her eyes pierced my heart
We wrote Masquerading, and sold it as art

Of all of my demons, I miss Her the most
Let's drink to pretending there's something to toast...

Apart from my Reason in all of my schemes:
I gave up pretending to live in Her dreams
My vexing ambition for solace had turned
By then, the intrigue of our love brightly burned

Our hearts were pretenders which writhed in the dust
From Love to deception, deception to lust
Content in our sorrow, we buried our shame
We played with our motives, assigning the blame

With demons as counsel, we came out at night
The words which we peddled were senseless and trite
Devoid of ambition, I gave up the ghost
Of All My Intention, I miss Her the most

I wake in this silence with all of my thoughts
With each passing second, our trust slowly rots
Between my synapses, I find Her asleep
Disgruntled, this silence is all we would reap...

What heart have I to show to you?--
[This feckless Autumn night]
I failed to sing a song that's new:
My heart was always trite

I don't know what I'm doing here
Or, why I dream of lust
My mind has been a Home for Fear
Its gears are plagued with rust

When once I failed to feel at all
I drank until I slept
In sullen haze, I still recall:
The way the sirens wept

Since when had I succumbed to Love--
To forge a solemn pledge?
When Push Became A Violent Shove:
They threw me off the edge

Awakened in a cage of steel
I had to then, recall:
I trained myself to never feel
I never did at all...

I’m plundered by my lack of will
And, all my timid thought
The life I lead is time-to-****
I feel my conscience rot

My heart had planted empathy
But, thorns would grow and thrive
And now, they get the best of me
I’m hardly still alive

The flesh it felt, my heart replaced
But, you won’t see me grieve
For now, you know: I’m doubly-faced
And, all I built will leave

Instead of lust for Love or fear
I’m purposely bereft
Although I hear Her in my ear
My will to try had left...

The depths of my depravity sink
My cruel and careless mind is aligned
With eyes affixed on all I've solely lost:
I dance with my scapegoating ghosts

Yearning to turn the page:
My hands are cut off by Hammurabi--
To keep from gouging Oedipus' eyes:
I am written out of the story

Ambition does not lust after me
I am forgotten in Dante's Inferno
My hands have denied any involvement--
They cite my brain for a lack-of-character(s)

Volition is cemented in the mire of Regret
Yet, She still screams to me:
"'Out ****'d spot! Out, I say!'"
So, we bury my tell-tale heart under the floor...

As Green as my envy, and Blue as the sea:
Her eyes held such sorrow, for Her and for me
A cordial indifference had led us to part
We brewed our destruction, and sold it as art

What truthful intention we seldom had weaved
Our hearts were two stories which no one believed
These songs turned to silence, and weakened our trust
For Love, to ambition; ambition, to lust

But, I can still see Her when I close my eyes
Without Her, intention had doubled in size
The fourth day of April had caused my collapse
I'm feckless, in silence; yet, bathe in the past...

This heart is graceless and vile
Stricken with an archaic smile
I missed this life, by a mile
To search for morale
To defile

The sins of the past
So sternly, they last
My downfall was fast
In a chasm
Too vast

I stop and can't start
I bartered for my heart
And now, as I part:
I summoned my conscience
And, tore it apart

I gave up my dreams
For closely-knit schemes
It's just as it seems
My morals are waning
In sputtering gleams

What lie had I told?
Pretending I'm bold
I have no heart of gold
With no sense of purpose
My heartstrings unfold

My head is unkind
I'm losing my mind
What vice, I've inclined
I wander through majestic stages
But still, I am blind...

Does solace know best?
She rips through my chest
Deception is key
Her love isn't free

I feel our hearts break
Through one more mistake
Our will was once kind
I'm losing my mind

The Devil came back
He planned his attack
With cruelly knit schemes
(To live in Her dreams)

I lived with despair
There's much to repair
Her sorrow takes shape
When will I escape?....

What heart have I to show to you?--
[This feckless Autumn night]
I failed to sing a song that's new:
My heart was always trite

I don't know what I'm doing here
Or, why I dream of lust
My mind has been a Home for Fear
Its gears are plagued with rust

When once I failed to feel at all
I drank until I slept
In sullen haze, I still recall:
The way the sirens wept

Since when had I succumbed to Love--
To forge a solemn pledge?
When Push Became A Violent Shove:
They threw me off the edge

Awakened in a cage of steel
I had to then, recall:
I trained myself to never feel
I never did at all...

I'm born to division, envision my pride
Tormented by panic and all which I hide
Bereft through my senses, I'm struck as I run
With demons as captors; my loss is their fun
Embittered by sorrow, I don't see what's next:
I'm vexed by dissension, but hide in my text

You're king of our heartache with little to show
Engulfed in our sorrow; it's all which you know
You're feigning completion, and losing your mind
A slave to your culture; you're petty and blind
In time, you are caught by the traps which you set
There's much to remember, but more to forget

We cling to the fleeting, and dawn a disguise
We're sullen and feckless; we're trapped by our lies
Amidst our ambition, we run for the door
We gave up, in silence, while searching for more
Tormented by Reason: we don't feel the same
We play with our heartstrings as if it's a game...

My God: have I forsaken you?
I'm trapped inside my schemes
I searched too long for some place new
[To give up on my dreams]

I see the mirror mocking me
My heart is filled with snakes
I feel the Devil stalking me
He tells me my mistakes

I squander life so foolishly
With graceless malcontent
When solace runs so rapidly:
My ego won't repent

I live within obscurity
The world is cruelly trite
Please, God: relieve my apathy
I'm weary of my spite...

Her lungs are black--
Insomniac
Her Love is free
She's after me
I'm up all night
My words are trite
Our will is dead
I toss in bed
We're doomed indeed
Our vice is greed
Three hearts had Lied
We're dead inside
Our pride won't mix
We conjure tricks
With words unsaid
What faith is dead?
Thus, lust is left
With minds, bereft
Had we not learned...
That Love is earned?...

I'm calm, composed, and nonchalant
In debt to my desire
I sell my soul to design passion--
To find that it fled from me

I play for my heart--
With an elderly, unkempt chess board
With fading colors and missing pieces--
Ambiguity has blended them as I sleep

Adopted by Reason, I ran from Home--
To sleep, nevermore, in my own skin
Disfigured, the hours melt away--
My rib-cage houses their wayward ghosts

I am controlled or coerced--
Anxiety crippled my heart's playwrights
Cutting off my vexing hands--
Bound in a stock, headed for Babylon...

We are the Lost Generation
The forsaken and forgotten ones
Splintered between the Age of Empires:
TV and iPhones
Wedged into slices of sullen Americana
Abruptly, we are scattered in solemn silence
My dreaded Intention flees from vexing self-destruction
Thus, I am stranded...simply waiting--
To die; 'to sleep, perchance to dream'
We are an idea of silent ambition
Withered kinetic energy, floating away--
We are the Lost Generation...

I am captured in No-Man's-Land:
In a Great War of silence and solace
My heart, when at its best, had meant that all of your fear had bred your peers
But, this awkward ambition deceives:
[Through our true nature]

My heart is bad company to keep:
I cannot sleep
Hammurabi's Code--
The heart of man was bought and sold
There is no place to run:
The bottle will find me

Underneath the moonlight:
We are stranded by this silence
Regret had set sail long ago
My breath awaits its volition
This indecent descent into dissent thrives--
Meanwhile, our egos play Russian Roulette

I'll trade your violence for silence
My will is filled with thieves
My thoughts are holes in an hourglass
Aspiration had marched off to war--
Though, you never came back
After a while, I stopped looking for you...

'I left my dreams in the sand...
On a beach, named Weirs
With a plights of distaste...
...and, one more demon for each freckle on Her face'

The smoke cleared between my eyes
I wrestled with each plagued notion of solace
My indifference indentured every passing second--
Here, I am the only fool

There is no place to flee from this silence
The past is all that speaks
Reflection is Epimethius' lover:
I am staggering to relieve all which haunts me

This callous heart of stone defeats me
I deceive my own endeavors
These two eyes have seen far too much
As they fall back into their defense...

Content in my reason, I indulge my future distress
Feckless friends and fiends lie...together
Our homemade misery surmounts
Indeed, we do have a habit of making habits

This Intention for contention is our invention
A fleet of reckless daggers flow from my mouth
I decimate past and present alike
Thus, the future flees from my nearsighted discourse

My dreams vehemently elude themselves far from my sight
Devoid of ambition, I fall from the sky with Lucifer and all of his friends
These means will never be justified
Choleric, we are vexed by our sugar-coated ends

This silence overtakes us
We are lucid metaphors of our former-selves
I lie awake and wake to lie
My half-empty bottle is never fulfilled, and never content

My heart is a home of chaos
A passionate portrait of selfishness
I am a kin to fruitless endeavors
Forgetting sense, I meagerly float throughout this wretched discourse...

A stranger to my apathy--
I don't know what to do
For, deep inside, I am not free:
I yearn to be like you

I don't know what I'm doing, Love
I send my heart below
When Push Becomes A Violent Shove
There's nothing left to show

For, I'm aware of what I feel:
Still foreign to my peer
Yet, I am blind to what is real:
To Lie is my career

I sleep in ambiguity
Then live unlike the rest
For, deep inside, I am not free
And, all untruth is dressed...

We are controlled by what we create
A vexing tool from a creator?--
I found my death-note in a bottle
Then, silently stabbed at Caligula's sea

Obscurity has founded me
All night, we danced with Death and all their friends
We reserved our table: Misfortune and I
To crawl, ever-lovingly into self-destruction

What fevered, feckless filth are we:
A brood of virulent vipers--
With cordial smiles masking our true nature
We stumble, backwards, into our very own traps

Volition is dead to us
Indulgent indifference will lead to our violent destruction
I have the mindset of 1,000 fools--
And, I deserve this...

My heart is violently choleric
It yearns for disaster
Pride has made a wretched fool of me
I am consumed and bested by my sin

I deserve death from the Son of Man
My mind is a slave to self deception
I am mocked by my own words
Blind guides follow me off of this cliff

Sorrow is my biggest fan
My will is a den of thieves
When it's all about me:
This life is cold and dreary

The bottle is always empty
I am guilty in front of the Accuser
I feel death at my doorstep
So, I turn to let them inside...

I bathe in lust and spite
My conscience doesn't feel right
The obscurity helps us writhe

This awkward silence embraces
We tried and failed to start once again
So, let's forget our faces

Eyes wide open at four AM
I wish, for once, that I could finally sleep
But, sorrow sown, I stolidly reap

Despite my intention, I boldly lied
I aspired to change, but never tried
Due to my inert intention, I conceded my mind

I opened my mouth, but forgot what to say
I left blood on that lonely highway
To the Devil's chagrin, I took two steps back again

I opened my eyes, but couldn't see
Opaque ambition is far from me
I'm Anxiety's best friend

If I have to be...

A penny for your thoughts:
My conscience rots--
He can't cope with this silence
I am deceived by our Accuser

I cannot break this cycle
My actions speak louder than words
Choler and regret have arrived--
Our party will run all night

Don't drink and decide:
This silence will lie
My brain is my body's laughing-stock--
I should fire the C.O.O.

I'm acutely aware of this defection:
Of solitude, and all of her friends
I lie well within my own skin
Our wretched demise, facilitated by pride...

Do you see the dissension within my eyes?
I stumble throughout this feverishly manipulated age
The minds of children are enslaved by their reflective masters
We yearn to destroy what Reason had painstakingly divulged

My intention marinates in this silence
I deafen its egregious cries
This past will not pass
While the mirror mocks my demons and I

My once lively will recedes beneath my synapses
These demons wonder why they still wander
With two eyes, I had to see too much
Indeed, I sold their sense of solace

Our lives are fevered dreams
Unspoken in their indignant dejection
Filled with volition, we reap what we sow--
Imprudently awaiting our own funerals...

Don’t drink and decide
I wish that I lied
Just know that I tried
With you by my side

Dissension’s victims are just playing dead
Their skeletons line the walls in my closet
Snakes slither silently in such surreal sorrow
We are their two blind witnesses

Our hearts are two stories, drenched in delusion
Not even a child would believe them
We bathe in our most wretched sin
And, run to misguided chagrin

We live for the feckless and fleeting
Amnesia is knocking at the door
So, we turn off the lights
And, close the blinds…

I writhe in my anxiety:
A ghost of what has passed
Such solace fled so far from me
My hopes are failing fast

I gave up of my will to love
Love soon had turned to blame
When push becomes a violent shove
The bottle called my name

This Hell is where I made my bed
Where all my demons thrive
At once, my conscience turned and fled
I'm lucky I'm alive

It's been ten years since I felt well
When then, I lost my hope
I writhe in my genetic spell
My brain can barely cope...

I writhe inside this sentiment--
A ghost of all I lost
The words I wrote were sealed and sent
Regardless of the cost

Dysfunction thrives inside my heart--
With empathy as vice
I'm just the one to play this part
What lust did I entice?

Until this day, I dared to dream--
And, lost my weary mind
Although I learned to plot and scheme:
The blind had led the blind

I never question why I stayed
My demons always scream:
'How could you pose this vexing trade:
A bottle for a dream?'...

I writhe in my anxiety
Still wishing I could sleep
My conscience ran so far from me
I've sown and now, I reap

I'm blinded by the lies I've told
And, petty, selfish lust
Regretful schemes are getting old
I'll fail to earn your trust

Indulging in such reckless vice:
I wish that I had fled
What demons will I soon entice?
I know, they want me dead

The nights are stern, as once they were
With all my sober thoughts
What bold chagrin will I incur
While aspiration rots?

Forgetting all my fatal flaws
I still have never learned
I'm sure I'll find a coupled cause
[To all those bridges burned]...

My pride is a crutch
I do not dream much
Archaic notions of solace surround me
I'll soon lose it all--
You'll see

What fevered dreams had befallen me?
A cordial endeavor to give up the ghost
Only to search for it in ever corner of my mind
I've tried for a long time, since my birth:
To sabotage my time on this Earth

A husk of a dreamer, I saw in the mirror
His downfall is much clearer
There is solemn beauty on the bottom floor
These two hands have done much to abhor
I wish that I could say more...

There's an addict in the attic
In the cobwebs of my brain
I threw a party in his name
Distress follows me every day

What reckless intention:
Regret never left
Sanctification is feverishly distraught
I never woke up from this dream

Relapse reveals relinquished regret
My God, have you forsaken me?
I am not a patient of patience
Regret recreated my reviled redemption

My heart keeps a record of my wrongs
I can't control my own mind
Rest alludes me like all of my dreams
I give up pretending to live in my reckless schemes...

The delight of my defection:
A plethora of schemes
Regret still stalks me, patiently
My dreams gave up on me

Silence overwhelms my seemingly cordial heart
My conscience is on vacation
The chasm between morals and impulse widens
I dive, headlong, into self destruction

My bones shake with envy and fragility
The regret in my heart seems insurmountable
It's difficult to run from your own tactless heart
To endure the most patient heartache

My senses dangle in haughty enticement
Disregard stalks me like a thief
My mind adulterates each contention of my heart
I cannot ignore its silence...