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Sometimes Ally Jul 2015
I try to have
a good body image
I'm fat and I say
that I'm proud
but when I avoid mirrors
at all costs
I close my eyes when
I walk past one
others say I'm strong
and courageous
they wish they had the confidence
that I seem to possess
but do you really want
a false sense f happiness?
do you want to
put on a front
so others think you're
strong?
do you want to skip
meals so you
feel in control?
don't ever say you wish
you were
like
me
Sometimes Ally Jul 2015
I want you to know me
but I don't know myself
I want you to love me
but I have every aspect of me
I want you to be with me
but I can't stand the sight of myself

I'm trying to get better for you
because I want you
im trying really hard
Sometimes Ally Jun 2015
her
she makes me feel the way
a little kid feels
on a hot summers day
when the ice cream truck comes
giddy and excited
even though he sees it
rather periodically
it still makes him happy
the way she does me
Sometimes Ally May 2015
a child should never have to lose
their parent
at such a young age.
granted, you're still alive,
but you're not the mother I once knew.
growing up things were all right,
so I thought.
I thought we were a normal family,
until I saw how my friends families interacted.
apparently families aren't supposed to fight all the time,
moms aren't supposed to hit your older siblings
and dads are supposed to be around.
as I grew older and less naive,
you couldn't treat me the same anymore
I was beginning to be more like my siblings so you had to treat me like them too
I grew up, they moved out,
dad still wasn't around
so all your anger got taken out on me.
I was twelve the first time you hit me
and I didn't tell anyone.
the hitting and the yelling continued for the next three years
and when I finally told someone,
they didn't believe me.
you told me to **** myself so I tried
and then suddenly you loved me again
you wanted to be a part of my life
but I didn't want you in it
so you left
and didn't come back
but when you left, you took a little piece of me with you
and now, I lost you forever.
a child should never have to lose
their parent
at such a young age.
Sometimes Ally Dec 2014
today was such a wonderful day
it was full of what i love
and the people i love
but yet i still feel empty
somethings missing from my life
and i wish i could tell you what is
but i'm at a complete loss for words
i want to be happy
but all i feel is despair
i want someone to hug me
and just ask me how my day was
i want someone to care about what i did
i want someone to want me
is it selfish to want to be wanted?
why do i still feel so empty
Sometimes Ally Dec 2014
even as the night turns to day
and all my sorrows have been washed away
i still miss you
there are days when i'm fine
and days when i'm in a haze
but it can all be summed up by one phrase
i still miss you
my poetry grows sadder as the months drag on
it's on to get a grip on the fact that you're really gone
i still miss you
i want you back, as selfish as it may seem
without my daddy here i've lost any trace of self-esteem
god ******, i still miss you
i know that i will see again
but until that day
i have to keep asking my 'when?'
until the day i know die
i know that
*i'll always miss you
in loving memory of my stepdad, 1958-2014
Sometimes Ally Nov 2014
the last text i got from her said
"I don't want to go to work"
it was a saturday afternoon
i was asleep
and i didn't reply

that was a month ago
i've tried contacting her since
but to no avail

i miss my best friend
i need my best friend
i want to cry to her
i want her to cry to me

at times like these
i need her most
when it's 1am and im vulnerable
my thoughts race

becca come back to me
tell me what i did
to send you away
i ruin every friendship
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