your words exactly:
"i believe our paths were meant
"to intersect,
"but not to sustain.
"to touch,
"but not to cling.
"to meet,
"but not to unite. "
and i still love you,
despite.

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

kiss me in your backseat
like nothing has ever been like this before
'cause you kiss like a promise
like you have never wanted anything more
than me

and just maybe, i'm crazy about you baby
and i guess it's a mess but i've always loved messy
things

and with your lips on my neck, i feel like the best is yet to come
and with my heart on my sleeve, i hope you can see it beats like a drum

and i'm wrapped around your finger and my gaze might just linger on your face
and i can't help but notice what we've made of this moment in this place

is beautiful
you're beautiful.

in the streetlights, with your brown eyes looking into my heart
hold me tighter, with your bright lights lighting up the dark
you're lighting up

Let's start off with this: I miss you.
Let's add: every day.
Let's keep in mind: we broke up 2 years ago and I have a new boyfriend.
Let's do this: get each other's numbers and make plans.

Rewind.

I have not been able to get you out of my head.
I have splinters in my heart.
I can still hear your voice, can still hear you saying my name.
I still get goosebumps at the thought of you.
What have I done?
How could I let you go?

Pause.
We were good.
I was filled with giddiness.
You filled my heart with wonderlust that was uncontrollable.
You made my soul yearn for freedom.
I had never experienced that before.
I don't now.

Play.
My mom said that what we had was simply
"puppy love"
Oh, if only she could understand...
If only she could see my heart.
If only you could.

Pause.
I want to show you my heart.
I have changed.
I am different; no longer afraid.
Let me open up my heart and show you the cracks I have left in it.

Fast forward.
My new boyfriend made me happy.
But he does not fill that void.
I am currently unhappily in a relationship with him.
But I won't break his heart.
I won't break another one.
I know I broke yours.

What is my punishment?
I have done this to myself -
I am breaking my own heart because I broke yours.
I am breaking my own heart so that I can avoid
Breaking his.

But wait.
I still need you back.
I still need you back.
Please don't shut me out.

Please...
Take me back...