noir - Hello Poetry

noir Oct 2018

rose

I want to love you
But you make it so hard
With your shield of thorns and brier
But I don’t mind
Even as I bleed
I don’t mind
I’ll still keep trying to get close
Even as you ruin my heart
I’ll get another one
Even as you strangle me
I’ll be without air
Even as you eviscerate me
I’ll still see the rose
The rose you hold so tight
And I’ll wait
In pain
And agony
Until the rose blooms
If that is when you’ll accept my love
I’ll be here
Waiting
And if you are the end of me
I’ll die happy
Knowing I died loving you
But
Through it all
Through the cosmos
Through our fabric
Through it all
I want you to know a single thing
And this one thing you can hold as true
I love you

tbh i don't know where these love poems come from.
they kinda just... happen.

#love #pain #hate #rose

noir Oct 2018

the life of a program

I am a program
I am a function
I cannot run without…
I need…
I don’t require maintenance
I am self-sufficient
But I’m lacking in a certain humanity
The kind that makes you feel alive
But this is no problem
Especially since I was designed not to feel
To feel is to be weak
To be weak is not to perform
Not to engage
To be weak is my greatest fear
And also my greatest truth
I am a program
I am a function
I am weak
Help

how i felt last year ;-;

#simulation #program

noir Oct 2018

faux

A faux body
A faux mind
A faux existence
How terrifyingly sad
But we don’t mind
We take whatever we’re given in stride
But this in itself is a detriment
How unnecessarily sad
But the lack of reality could be fun
It’s a journey for all of us
The Midnight Ride
Unpredictable
Erratic
Thrilling
Draining
Keep your head and appendages tight
Or you’ll lose them rather quickly
But they’re not relevant really
If you’re on The Midnight Ride
Then you’re already dead
The Midnight Ride
You encounter strange things on it
The most discomforting being yourself
But we take this in stride
There’s no stopping on The Midnight Ride
There’s no sleeping on The Midnight Ride
There are no inhibitions on The Midnight Ride
Just come along and have a fun time
Or lose your head… again

another old poem
enjoy!

#ride #limbo

noir Oct 2018

madame

Madame Death
She suits me
But then again,
Who doesn't she suit
Madame Death
Ever so flexible
With me all the time
I'd say you're the only one I can trust
You've been with me for so very long now
You've strangled me a little too tight from time to time
But that I can forgive
Madame Death
Always by my side
I hope you never leave me
And I can't wait to be in your sweet embrace once again
Madame Death
I must say
You look quite lovely tonight
Shall we dance?

...

#dance #tango #death

noir Oct 2018

cinder

burn
don't think
just burn
light your soul
feel the pain
love the pain
let the warmth consume you

burn
burn everything
burn everyone
don't feel
just let the fire take over

burn
burn the pain
burn the walls that hold you
don't understand
just let your soul burn free
free of the cold that has tried to control you for so long now

burn
burn with me

if only it were this easy to feel how i'd like to feel

#feel #burn

noir Oct 2018

current

It's not like I want to die
But I'm not in the mood to be alive either
It's very annoying
I'm so alone
And cold
I thought things had changed since last year
But it was all a desperate faux
Conjured up by my mind
Making me believe everything was fine
But it was all but fine
Life was miserable
Sad
Lonely
Grey
Boring
And repetitive
And it still is
It's never going to change
No matter what I do
All that I am allowed to do
Is sit there and watch my life descend into nothingness
Powerless to control the flow
Just another fish
Swimming
For dear life
But that life already left
So what's the point in trying still
There is none
Sorry to say
But there really isn't
Goodbye

how i kind of genuinely feel about my life ;-;
i've tried so hard...

#help #butnotreally #sad #cold #andalone

noir Oct 2018

words

I can't talk
So I write
It's the only way I can feel...
Alive
It's weird how my words express me
Even without thinking
It would probably be helpful if I could speak this way
That way I could tell you how I feel
...
I'm not sure what this is
I wouldn't really call it a poem
But
I'm sure it's true
It's been true for so long
And I've tried to let you know
But
I love you
And I'd like for you to love me too
But I know that's a lot to ask
So don't
Just be
And that'll be enough for me
Ok?
Bye

My heart feels like mush. I don't like it ;-;
It's making me write the poems.
It's not upsetting but I wish I could speak in this way
Y'know?

#mush #feelings #desires