I sat in my veranda
A mellow sun shining above me
Its light, blinking - still drowsy from a restful night
Clouds, like cars of cotton rushing past - going who knows where...
The trees creaking and sighing, dancing a hypnotic dance
The birds singing their ballad, of times long gone
Suddenly - a scent caressed my nose
Like a cruel flirt, touched me and vanished
Leaving me breathless
I heard my heart beat - thum.......thum...thum
It got louder - thum! thum! thum!
No! not my heartbeat, I heard drums
Drums, playing a primal song
I saw...I saw mountains high and mighty
Decked with vivid paintings
Of a different way of life
I saw streams, rushing past
The cold water sprinkled my face with soft kisses
I saw forests, dark and deep
No doubt home to Wood Elves,Nymphs, Wizards and Witches and beasts with wings and horns
I saw silver ruins, fallen walls
Vines and ivy creeping over them, vein-like
A lonely banner hung on one of the walls
Old and tattered, yet still regal and proud
Fluttering in the wind, it spoke to me
Of horse's hooves, armour clad knights, oaths being taken, oaths being broken,
Clashing of swords, a time long gone...
Suddenly - a scent hit my nose
A scent, rough and urban
And there it was - a metal beast
Yellower then the summer sun
Groaning with indignation
It rushed past
Leaving a trail of black smoke and dust
And there I sat, in my veranda
Searching frantically for another glimpse
Of that wonderful land
In vain...

I have lived
Never been loved
Been slapped and shoved

I bear the marks
The scratches , the bruises

I remember, the broken bones
The many moans
Sticks and stones
Ceaseless

I remember the whip
The skin it would rip
The smell of ***
I went numb

Face stained with tears
Fears have quelled over the years

Now only this remains
Only one thing to do

Knife in hand
Shaking hand
Tired hand

Knife is heavy
It will be easier
A small cut is all I need
Then I'll be freed
Forever
At last

Deep breath
One of my last
A smile
Knife straight
Cut,cut, long ,cut
Pains, Hurts
It bursts
The vein

Blood, blood peeks
From the straight cut it leaks
Red,I see it
I taste it

Makes me sleepy
Like a soft kiss on the lips
A pure taste
Taste of life
Taste of death

Sshhh
Hear, there be whispers
Pitter patter
A hush
Of a chatter
Once or twice
A loud groan

Light is littered
Here and there
Darkness has the bigger share
flasSH !!
SLaashh !!
Sudden light– a spark
A mutable mark
Gone

The world shrouded
Under deep fog
The heavens–cotton crowded
It tears

Tears tears
It nears
The scent of life

Tears tears
Someone hears
The sibilant symphony

Tears tears
Then
It clears
The sky

the world is there,I
am here—
a puzzle-piece which doesn't
fit anywhere

I read a book once
it said— "To get ahead in life,you gotta break some eggs."
so I did

I cut my edges to take a different shape
to fit in a certain set
it hurt, but I wanted to get ahead
and so I broke some eggs

I fit in, slid in like I was
not a separate piece but
a part of the whole from
the very beginning

yet only then did I notice
that I was of a different colour
than the rest of the pieces

so I was kicked out
but I wasn't gonna give up

I plunged myself in
a paint can—
and assumed a different colour
I broke some eggs

I fit in perfectly
yet only then did I realize
that I was made
of a different material
than all the rest

I was kicked out
cut, drenched in alienness
wet, by the roadside gutter

only then did I see
a puzzle set
of the colour
of my hidden flesh
of the material
of my own bones
with a missing piece— the shape
of my old self

yet I was alien to them
to the whole world
to me

I broke myself

We were friends
You and I
Kindred spirits
Thick as thieves
It's hard to believe
Now that you're gone

Sometimes I see your smile
I used to see it more often
I see it on your profile now
It looks better in real life

I no longer hear your voice
The voice that made me happy
The voice that annoyed me
I yearned to stuff your mouth with pie
Now, I yearn for that voice
That, I would never hear again
No matter how much I try

Since you left me
I have changed
No doubt
You have too
But you'll always be my best friend
That much is true

Sitting in a room all alone
Curtains down, darkness abound.
Head down,only one sound.
Of weeping, of gasping
All else,silence.

Weeping, weeping
Seeking,seeking
For a shadow
Not of your own
Sitting in a room all alone.

Longing a touch
Familiar yet foreign
In your dreams you feel it
When you wake you miss it.
Sitting in a room all alone

When you sit all alone
On a park bench and you're shown
A happy couple floating by
Tangled in innocent violence like kites in the sky.
You hear it, the voice.

This voice you adore
This voice you abhor
This voice which haunts you
This voice which taunts you

This voice you seek
In the darkness you weep
No voice, no sleep
Sitting in a room all alone.

Then a rustle
A mild shuffle
A sound oh so muffled
A sound not of weeping
But  of feet skipping.

Then a voice
That voice you adore
That voice you abhor
That voice which taunts you
That voice which haunts you

You hear it
You fear it
What if it's a dream
Sitting in a room all alone
You scream

The voice says, " I'm here don't worry"
Says, " For being away so long I'm sorry"
Then that touch
That chills and burns
Your heart writhes and turns
That touch oh so familiar yet foreign.


"It is you" You say
"My love, my dove"
"Yes it is I " the voice says


Weeping, weeping
But nay not of grief
Weeping, weeping
Of joy and relief.


Sitting in a room
Curtains down
Darkness abound
Two shadows intertwine
"I am yours and you are mine"

What are you
Oh mere human
With your expiry date
And the bag of meat and chemicals
You call yourself

Once your there
Whining and crying
A ***** filthy babe
In your mother's arms
Weak
Then phooof
Just like that, you're gone

You think your life matters
What you say? What you think?
You think the afternoons mulling over the pretentious thoughts you call "philosophy" are worth it?
You think there's a God?
You think Love exists?
It's all a sick pretention
That's all

You are a member of the **** sapiens
You eat, you excrete
You fight, you bite
You gnash your teeth
You scowl, you growl
You punch, you mate
You are an animal

And the worst thing is, you know it
You know all this
Yet you try to forget
You spend whole days
Thinking about the tissue that covers you skeletal frame
Is it black? Is it white? Yellow? Acne?
The little threads of protein on your skull
You love them, you fear losing them
You'll **** to have them stay
And when they go away, you think
That God hates you
Pathetic

You compare your bag of flesh
To those of the others
And you grade them
Putting some bags over others
Thinking them better and some worse
Tangled in your own illusive web of pretentions...

You long for people to Love you
How can they? When they hate their own guts?
They try to **** themselves
Who they are
Then when that works out better than they hoped and they feel even more
Unfulfilled and frustrated
They **** themselves, physically

Live with integrity
Love yourself,even if you're an ugly sore for the eyes
Even if your breath stinks
And your bald head makes the Sun feel ashamed
Even if you can't find someone who would love you
Live like you want to
With the least amount of regrets
Unleash the "thing" within you
The "thing" that is innocent,calm,loving, serene and alien
Do this
Because life is short
And you'll die soon
And no one has come back from the afterlife and told us
If they have coffee there
So at least, sit quietly and enjoy
A nice cup of coffee now and then
While you still can...

To win recognition
The love of my peers
Their words-now my word
Their battles-now my battles
My friends, their enemies-now my enemies
In so doing I won
Fame, flattery ,friends, fans
Yet, I lost one
One most precious–My soul.

So now when I look
At that silver screen
That pitiless creature
A visage I see
One tired of fake expressions
And empty emotions
A barren world of crags and cracks
Hidden beneath pretention and paint

This visage is not of mine but one of theirs
And I am it's bearer

Now I see a child
Among giants it walks
A mortal among gods
A god among mortals
Fearless in its visage
It follows itself and none other
Its face is jubilant with a light
A light of innocent wisdom--
Of righteous anger
It is a fertile world, lovely
With colours of life

Its words-the soul's song.

Once there was an age-when Heroes died
Everyone mourned, everyone cried
The Heroes died
Yet the villains were no more
And all was quiet
Yet there was more in store.

In an age anew
In secret, darkness grew
Villains arose in throngs
The quiet was broken by Death Songs.
Tears fell
Yet, who could tell?
New Heroes came- the start of a new game.

Yet this game was not played by White and Black
A guilty heart did neither side lack
You see this time--
Both sides were tainted with crime.

In the end the Heroes died
And so did the Villains
No one mourned, nobody cried.
And now there are Villains no more
Nor any Heroes
Only us.

Rolling water hitting
Hardy rocks unbreaking
Hands and feet are shaking
Empty net is floating.

No fish,no fish today
Bad luck is here to stay
Nothing to do but pray
Drive the bad luck away.

The empty stomach pains
Bed sheet red with blood stains
Life slowly, slowly wanes.

Happy moment awaits
Scotch, very sweet is tastes.

The liquid meets parched lips
Smile,smile at life's eclipse.

The horizon crowded
By greyish beasts
The yellow Sun shrowded
By Jupiter's priests

Sound the horns,sound the horns
Beat the drums ,beat the drums
The wind howls
The sea scowls
Lightning - flash
A whip lash
Swords clash

Dash,dash
Whether rich,whether poor
Whether the sufferer,or one who has the cure
Whether the lured,or one who lures
Dash ,dash
Under temple,tomb, tent
Run, dash hell bent

Dash, dash
It's of no use
This fate, you can't refuse
Thunder rumble
Temple tumbles
Walls crumble

Run,hide
Death's Bell has rung
Run, run
The last song has been sung
Of humanity

The Earth shakes and shivers
The world quakes and quivers

Sky red with Jupiter's fury
Humanity's executioner,judge and jury
The end is heralded by the cries
The end is nigh, humanity's demise.

In this life, we strive for wealth;
For fame, trying to be high up in the game;
For pleasure in bed, for sweet health.
But I for one, need only one;
If I have this then I'm done.
I'll roll over and die;
A happy man, I won't lie.
A cup of coffee is all I need;
Black as black can be;
Oh, with some sugar indeed.
A sip and I'll die, my soul will be free.

Oh, the day I remember
Of Cupid's victims I became a member
I looked your way, and something was amiss
I felt Aphrodite's sweet kiss.

Your eyes did assume an inhuman spark
Your visage, oh your visage to my heart did it hark
Oh it pains my soul, my amor
My heart pains even more.

That you became the spark
In another's life
Oh your kiss did mark
You as another's wife.

I cursed my fate
Cupid and Aphrodite, I did hate
I was a man no more
But a cast away husk that you would not adore.

Yet my mind awakened
My hatred lessened
I saw thee in a new light
Of the world's adoration you have every right.

You a sweet flower, in a crowd of many such
Yet only you bear Beauty's touch
And I the wanderer see
From a distance I admire thee

I needn't unroot you from your station
I am always there, away from your vision
My sight blessed with your presence
You are this sick soul's healing essence.

Oh, to be touched by Beauty's grace
The footprints of time leave no trace
On thy visage- which dost lie
In deceit of thy true years.