Love has some wonderful properties.

It makes you something you're not. It makes you sane and insane. It makes you humane and inhumane. It makes you sighted and blind. It makes you overly rational or illogical. It makes you somewhat childish when nothing matters. It makes you extra jealous when there's nothing.

It makes you do things you don't do. It makes you prosecute and judge your defendant, or it makes you defend your lover. Perhaps the other way around. It makes you commit ******. It makes you commit suicide. It offers you identity crisis to a certain extent, but also enough motivation, will, and power to ****, just a little, somehow.

Who am I? Who am I, now? Who was I? And, who are you? Whose side are you on?

On that note, all it would take is but a feeble breeze to knock me off the edge so that I fall into endless tar. I shall sink, effortlessly, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, as the thick, obscure liquid engulfs and swallows my entire being, slowly and gently, until I'm out of breath, and perfectly erased from this world without a trace of ever having lived.

I remember laying in the grass
Adolescents way to drunk and high
We were out with friends
They were sitting under a bridge nearby
Looking up into the night sky
I turned around and kissed her
She kissed me back and turned around
3 minutes of silence passed and
She said "ive never wanted to kiss someone so much but without wanting ***, ive never wanted to talk to someone but without the words, ive never wanted to be around somebody just to be around him, do you think that's love?"
I looked at her and said if it is love i love you more than anything
My heart was beating so fast
She said "i love you too more than anything"
Ive never felt better
So much brighter on the inside than with any drug ive felt before
And i knew from the moment she kissed me my depression was gone
This was the most beautiful moment of my life
Sitting there with my first real love
With the people i love
In the darkness i love
Under the bridge i learned to love
Smoking the **** i love
Drinking the alcohol i love to hate
But eventually friends turned on me
The bridge got demolished
And she left
All that was left was the darkness of that night, the **** and, the alcohol
I wrote over 300 poems that year
Writing stuff of my young sorry soul
The poems helped me mentally
And the drugs helped me write them
Thats how i became an addict
Now people look at me and tell me im an addict
But im only addicted to her love, these friends, this place, this night
And that's what people dont understand
Im addicted to leaving this world
Leaving this pain behind just a few hours
There's a story behind every addiction
If you speak to an addict in your life
Speak honestly and dont judge them
You'll learn something
You'll learn that this world is a sad little place
And every sad little addict has a sad little heart
Dont judge people you dont feel what they feel

Once upon a time, I was all about the pretty boys.

the kinds that walked me through my dreams, 
the kinds that plucked me from my wreckage like the springtime roses they'd leave on my doorstep. 


and they kissed me so kindly that falling in love was no longer sacred, and the smolder of victory in their eyes soon outshone our lovely moon.



but I would wake each morning with names on my lips that evaporated in the daylight, 

and just before I'd go, I'd confess to my bedroom ceiling that i still wanted someone more.

And then, by some miracle mapped out in stars, I followed a path that led to you.



And oh God, music hasn't sounded as sweet since the moment I heard your voice. 

Your laughter chases every nervous beat of my heart, your eyes hold constellations that make it easy enough to feel infinite as long as my gaze stays locked with yours. 



You make me feel fluorescent, the darkness has never felt so safe. With the memory of you in my near-present, there's no danger I cannot face. 

And I long so stupidly to fold and unfold myself in the spaces between your fingers.

 To taste the gold on your lips would make me the richest in spirit that I have ever been. 



And I can't deny, it would be heaven to stroke my hands through your hair and whisper while you're close, "oh darling, don't you know, 
you were art long before i began to admire you,"



This ecstasy you give has touched me deep within my bones. 

And I'm shocked you haven't heard this one before, it's a tale as old as time.

You linger like the softest whisper in the furthest corners of my mind.