I run to pretend
I drink to forget
I write to express
I smoke to find rest
I go out to digress

I run to pretend that 6 months have not past since you left
I drink to forget that they have
I write to express the pit manifesting inside me
I smoke to find rest in days that almost **** me
I  stay busy to digress from the truth that you don't miss me

dry drunk son,
sallow of complexion
victim at heart
nothing
ever his fault
disdains
flushes his family
away

daughter
mother of two
enables the addict
the shooter husband
every time
the poor thing he is
every time
and he still gets to
call the shots!

and she flushes the family
away as well

throws their love in the street


and the eight year old
granddaughter
and the three year old
boy

forage
climb the refrigerator
leaving footprints
literally
live in chaos
and filth
codependent
on the addict

and the family's flushed away

their love thrown in the street

and it's all about the addicts
and it's all about the addicts
and it's all about the addicts
and it's all about the addicts
and it's all about the addicts
and it's all about the addicts

nothing is ever their fault

and the family's flushed away

their love thrown  in the street

and the children

what of them.......

what of them.......

what of them.......

cj 2016

I heard her calling out to me
tried to ignore her,
begged her to set me free
but her scent, her taste
kept calling to me
I ached so
for her to just let me be
but the lure, the pull
her enticing ways
kept gnawing and eating at me
for days
and finally I gave in to her call
and drank in her aroma, her scent
tasted the essence of her elixir from hell
and I sit here now
trying to tell
which way is up--
is the room spinning (or is it me?)
I should have insisted
she let me be,
but I'm weak and her taste and lure is strong--
I should have known better--
giving into brandy
has always been wrong...