Trapped just beneath the surface, i reach out and i can almost feel it, the soft breeze the cool air, freedom. I kick up and up but it gets farther and farther away. A weight pulls me back down to where i started standing at the bottom surrounded by darkness. Im cold, alone and scared never to reach the top again.

I think my favorite feeling is being outside feeling wind on my face, just staring up at the sky. I love how the clouds dance and the birds tease me, Oh how my heart longs to be that free.
Maybe one day my feet will lift off the ground, I will float away and be with the clouds. Watching as everything gets smaller while my mind goes silent,
maybe then I’ll finally feel some peace.

The pain has begun to burn a hole straight through my chest,
It stings and sizzles as I try to smile, slowly crushing whatever’s left of this thing I call my heart.
The Waves of darkness that wash over me  cause this frail body to shut down, and exhaustion sets in, with the strong girl I once was long gone theres no chance for me anyway.
So please just let the wind sweep away my ashes, and let me finally be what i’ve always wanted to be...

Free.

Since you died i've felt you,
Hanging around me, placing yourself into my poems.
They might not see you there but I do,
You’re always there.

You never fail to leave a piece of you,
Hidden within each and every line
Reminding me you're gone
Sometimes i wish i could stop you.
Beg you to let me write happily

My poetry is never happy anymore.

But Dad, since you died i've felt you
Holding onto my pen, stuck writing with me.
Dad i write my poems for you now
Every word is yours.
Wherever you are i hope youre proud,
Of the person your only daughter has become today

My head is full of static, or maybe im made of static, all i know is I’ve lost myself in it and im not sure how to find my way out. Ive lost all feeling, its almost like im not even really here at all.
I feel myself fading, i wish i could save her but i know that she must be long gone now, i feel myself becoming someone else, someone i ******* hate. But i cant stop it the static, the constant feeling of.....

“Forget it, I don’t know. Never mind. Its okay im okay, no its really fine i don’t know its just a bad day, don’t worry about it.”

Static fills my chest as my vision blurs and im gone lost in my head the world around me just gone, everything sounds far away,  sometimes i wish i could stay here forever. Where the world is quiet and i don’t have to feel, or really think, its the closest thing ill get to peace. But i always snap back, and the sounds rush in and I’ve lost another piece of myself.

I tremble as the words I love you dance on your tongue,
You cannot see the way my heart starts to slowly shatter.
I know that one day those bewitching eyes will see me for what I really am,
A soul crushing tornado destroying everything around me,
Just waiting to devour you.

I don't want to hurt you but,
my arms are like swords that I cannot control,
Cutting ties and breaking hearts.
I want to love you but,
this deep dark hole that I like to call my heart won't let me.

I hope you can find a way to forgive me...