If I just lay in the snow
Will it take long to die?
That's what I hoped when I thought about it one time

If you were the tide
And I was the sand
I'd pray for you upon these shores  
To build a castle
That we could call home
And when you decline
My love won't be following far behind

You were my first
First kiss
First love
First everything
Now that you're gone
I worry you'll be my last
But what's certain is this will be the last time I write about you

Our purpose is to leave a mark
Like when my thoughts rush to my finger tips to write them down in ink

A safe place I made
Was a place where I could rest my head
And watch repeats of old TV shows from my bed
But quickly that dream became stale
Instead of escaping through vents
Dark thoughts circled my head  searching for a release
Soon what I loved was no longer my friend

Fighting an everlasting battle
That no one can win
I've been holding my ground
But I've forgotten what my footprints look like and the pattern at the bottom of my shoe when I've made progress

I've made myself remember
My summer's were better than they were
But I've been unwell through all four seasons
Nothing changed in the warmth
The same fluoxetine dose
The same minimum hours of sleep
And a notion drilled into me
That this is a happy place to be.