I felt my organs fighting a good fight
But my body giving in
Declining the offering of nutrients
Do you remember I told you I was going to die?
Do you remember telling me I was the apple of you eye
But I wouldn't even eat the fruit they gave me
The next morning I woke with you by my side
Worrying I didn't make it through the night
And dissent dreams of eating at restaurant's
Feeling out of sight.

I breath in your scent every morning when I wake
So I'll isolate myself in this room so what I have left of you doesn't escape
Like the clothing you carried out in bags
Til death do us part
The words your once muttered in a dream I once had
I'll put a picture of you on the roof of my bunk
Mimick you with a pillow
Cove it in love
I'd video tape killing myself for a moment for your time
Or maybe even three
Because I'll only give up when my lungs give out
And my heart gives in
Because you don't leave as easy as you walked out.

Mimicking summer from my window
Short sleeves and shorts
The radiator heat, The blue skies and sunshine
YouTube and Trophy eyes lives
Mask and disguise the cold outside
I'll get through these months knowing that summer can be a permanent state of mind

The trees are naked and showing their wood

I'm in that headspace
Where everything I say
Gets written down
And maybe
Just maybe one day
In time
These words will form a short sentence or rhyme.

I could forge lies with my tongue
But you wouldn't fall for none of them
You could see the gaps in my stories
And the truth in my eyes
So believe me when I say
Things can only become better with time

Inhale, exhale
Breath you in and out
I may get tired and worn out
But giving up on you is something I won't do
While I have air in my lungs
And a heart that craves to be what you call home