Safe to un-say
my slip o'the tongue
Embarrassments
Arent at all unexpected  
Pleased to meet you
Time would say I am one
Interesting Investment
Although I stay letting others
Underestimate
Me
And My strengths
to take my power away
But I continue to make it
Til my days are up

I don't particularly care
For being tossed aside
But it happens almost always
Therefore I drown my head
In substances
And slice away tainted flesh
Pain is a learned thing
A crude repeating punishment
But how it taught me so much
Your a freind
And your a front
A teacher but a ****
I hate you pain
But you brought me healing
THANKS!

The world rejects me
tastes then spits me out
such a bitter texture on the tongue
I have been given the ability
to understand & argue
both sides of an issue
might just be a symptom
of my fickle disease
I am a toy in life's childish hands
spreading sneezes
as it shares me with the other worlds

You deny every gift handed to you
Just to feel something
When you feel too much too little too ugly
Too often

I hear a whisper calling my name...
Am I any connection to that of my flesh?
I feel a something brush me
Am I just a result of a feverish mess?
No, I see nothing but field and fireflies
no one is here
but me the bugs and the stars
and I can't help but laugh
while you **** your way to deportation
I **** the world for freedom
and drink the nectar from it's crevasses
some are stuck curled in fetal positions
til the mission is clear
This isnt our perm- state
We are the example of change
the fire in the distance, the drum beat, the discourse and disarray
the smile growing on a pouty face
Grabbing life by its antlers
I scream
"Thank you universe, thank you
for I am finally let lose from my cage!"

We get up

and we go

wing it to spit

venom over c-notes

behold

here's an

unspoken notebook

full of secrets

she will soon

hold too close

They say you can recreate
the **** you've lost
forget me nots
wont work here
pitiful stranger
I need to remind you of what you are able...
You've got ten fingers
A lavish book set

Personality is caustic, volatile, and drop dead goofy to a fault
I'll make you gasp
then **** your britches
Back to basics maven,
mayhem is what my DNA strands are made from..
I'm good at keeping you guessing
or in constant edge of your seat distress.
Let me learn you some lessons, take your spirit on a walk
Little by little
I'll undress it.
My personality in one shot
I'm a Cosmic freak
with a dash of silly antics.

Doesn't wanna give a ****
Doesn't think about tje context
enough
Doesn't fill your mug
When the pace wanes

Were shucking to make a budget
We can live on
Or move on, to a new landscape
And hideaway until
Our minds are changed

Never to weather
Never to erode
Doesn't wanna trail off
Reaching for unwelcome homes

Doesn't wanna appear shakey
But works the twitching
Anyway
Fit it in a box
To keep on display
Always

Shivers me timbers
**** up the guilt
She stays in the slums
With some ill killers

Seven ****** sirens
Submit to bleak conditioning
Routine rude awakening
Seek a beacon of hope
And hold it faithfully

Cake your mask in
Make-believes and maybes... still
they won't carry you to safety

I crave the ability
To shake the surface rabies, daily
Away we go bored & lazy
So, you say you hate me?
So what?!

Could ya focus on the love for once
The uncomfortable flutters/ in my stomach
Too close for comfort

Becoming one with underlings
**** them for functioning
I'm humbled but accustomed to the streets

Make that mouth
Match yo feet and
Go move your motion machine
One day; it quits breathing

Shivers seep through to the innards
Mister Mastermind
Have you earned the right
To learn what it means to be "your kind"

In crime we trust
And lust after lies
Mustered enough mayhem to tear up an afterlife

Brought back
For the last time
Gambling w grenades
Was our favorite pastime
Rhyming to get your mind right
Recently,
The reason that I can't write
Is bc you died before you
Felt the spotlight
And I'm not talented without you
GONE before our time
2020 was the worst year of my life....

Chest hurting
Lungs burning
Been running
From hardship
Since I was I cub

It's about time


I learn


To sit with it

I shall not want
But it's natural
Compulsion to worship desire

I shall not fear
But it's encoded deep in my DNA
It's reaction not intellect

sloth is my weakness
Hiding in my cozy corner
Ducking shiny eyes
That crave feedback

When I'm consumed in this
My replies are short and hollow
I need my manic back but my body isn't ready
Every atom needs to be recharged in order for me to live again

Because I refuse
This mood takes days to pass
Pray. Meditate. Fade into thin air
Away from judgement
Away from attachments
fear and desire keep me lazy
like dipping a toe in the rabbit hole
my wit keeps me sharp, steady, and aimed at the ready

Because one little slip could prove dangerous or deadly

The stag
Is but a symbol
One in which I can't escape
What a dark alarm
I wake to
To remind me of the fate
I blindly run from
...I'm

Sober Poetry
Boastin at ferocious levels
Knock em dead
Adjust your peddles
Let me see about your openess
More like an overgrown need to control a sitch
I'll beat the basic *****
Right outta ya
Leave you destitute  to find your way out blindly
'Cause that's how you learn right?

Man is the only being who knows he is alone
Enclosed in echoes
Blankets and old clothes
Coagulate to make my den feel more home
I am full
I am present
Buffering my way to the message
I no longer crave the mess
Because I am a tool that tales
drip through,
It doesn't matter what distress
I have hammered in myself
Suffering aint a selfish thing
It's stuffed into every scream
Every memory, every piece we squish together
To show others we are whole
We should know we're not alone
We can reach 7 billion other monkeys
With soley a phone
we can also fill our void
With something of sustenance
Like poetry,music, Sci-fi, religion
This way we'll never go hungry again

Sour Statistics
for breakfast
caress the
kyanite
before the doctor
walks on in
Figure you can
fix the intent..
just quit hittin the
self destruct but-ton
Let it all come un-done
Constantly undercover
but abundant because of it
bouta buck 50
but buckin' the f**king
government
bounda break free
cutting the ties to
our suffering
come on world,
I've been too patient
throw me a bone that
I can play with.

They ask me
why I'm always spaced out, because my brain is fun
.. full of circuits
reworking
a chaos circus
to learn
and relearn
constantly
gotta get up on yo feet
to feed it
so you say your lost at sea?
Please
I don't wanna hear it
Just heal it,
honestly...

Weak,
Your finding meaning
By pleasing, each and every
Transmitter
What a way to let em have it
Flap yo jaws
All flabbergasted
Mad at the fact
You fell for a sad trick
And kept on running toward
What I thought was magic...
They said I could have it
.....................................
Along with a scratch
To add to the list.

They say you
can recreate the **** you've lost
forget-me-nots wont work here
Pitiful Stranger
Need I remind you of what you are able...
wait for the veil to someday slip
A fib as this is likely fatal.

Static tension
Deprivation
Drain the senses
Self sedation

There's no pride
In losing patience
Only
Petty.
Revelation.

But if petty revelation
Comes to
Claim my head
I'll be elated

The whole things
Too constricting
To even paint it
Paint it
Paint it out

Right above these storm clouds
And if the chips fall
Let em fall
Where they may...

Static tension
sporadic senses
those of which I dare not mention
Dare to know the ******* difference
and write the walls with my existence

Steam kettle thinking
im not in the mood
for swift wishful thinking
smudge upon the blacktop
semicolon dot dot

The symbol that I cant crack
a blank space where I am to craft some sentence
the etching that describes
my indolence
my frazzled brain turned
to mush

Just like they predicted...
Don't let the gates age you
untwist & pick padlocks
that stand ground arount you
Alive in progression

We have no choice
but to propel a voice-box
over the noise.

40 days in
and you think your cured
until you see a glimpse of your old life
in treatment they call it Euphoric Recall
thinking using comes with happy days
but you know its misery
when you have a random fit
a craving..
that pulls every atom in different directions
and it seems like nothing can stop it
this isn't a poem, this is truth
this is me crying out because I've forgotten how
no clever quips, no word play
just the here and now
what good is a sponsor when you cant be trusted with a phone
especially when a gut-wrenching void rears it's head
at 3.a.m
this has always been the hardest part of the day for me
the loneliness settles in ..
I start to miss people I shouldn't miss
My God, I am still sick
and I might always be this way
I shut my eyes and give up all my worries
eliminate desire from my heart
40 days in
and I was so close to giving up
Just for today
I will look my disease in the face
and say *******!

Gimme just a few
Seconds
I've been waiting
For us
To one day
Finally
Fuse again
No old habits...
No Abusive Ness
The nature of aging
Said stupid kids
I can't tell where
The stoop begins
With Suits that cover
Up every sin
Sticks
Static tension
Lack of friends
But from our fingers
Something electric
Fizzed
I need a few more seconds
To confess
How I've loved you
Ever since
We were both
One of them
Lazy stoop kids

Stumble clumsily
to that of which you think
is your sensei...
and ask
Why must I bow?
Take a break just take it down
a notch
Just watch me howl
at the moon
meditate let the sun
hit you in the face
Awaking you to a new
confusion
"better mean what you say
so you'll still be sitting when you
float away through hazy old
sayings displays testaments to progress
even frogs respect goggled honesty
from lilypad perspectives
directive flush and disconnect
from freshness"

Stumbling Backward
Won't retrack
her footprints
burrowed I  the dirt
Soles won't turn red
At the time,
I liked to hide my embarrassment
Clinging to the edges
The best I could physically do


Stomach Bubbles
The tension inconsistent
Rummaging around in my
Squishy equipment
What does that mean  . ???
Well let's get intruiged
About it!!!
Whoop Whoop
Shoo now we talking


My feet scuffing the wreckage
Like brushstrokes
Dabbing watercolor mothers
To provide peace for
An orphans anguish
Help me
prevent the brain-slip
PrettyPlease

I refuse to be the patient  (AGAIN)
To be a victim
Or another vagrant
Wishing and a Waiting
My little life away
A villain or a crit-i-cal
Mistake
A Feeling
From the clinically insane
Another Innocent pedestrian
Locked in a cage

What is quality of life
Without substance ?

Why break your chains
And flee your cage
To keep on rotting beside
Monsters of a different kind

They're scraping out
What soft parts
I've got left

And I'm aware
My sense is leaving me
Feel it pulling away
Like a string
tangled up in both ribs

Why be that courageous
By taking that step
Just to rescind back into hiding

I built up barracks,
Turned off tears,
And carried my armor
On my hip
every second
Of every day

I won't even attempt
To listen
To my own advice

If you were to ask me
How I think one should act
I'd preach how vital
It is to be raw
and vulnerable
Because it is beautiful thing

I admit it
I'm a cliche'
Who uses complacency as a shield
Instead of becoming the hero
She wants to be
The one who
gos all in,  
no protection,
no hesitation,
But all passion,
And all chest

I know that my power
Is most likely stuck
Under a pile
Of child-like
character defects


I think I'm finally ready

To dig through my mess

Keep on

Searching the Earth

For assets

I could use

To better my human

Do not forget,
That you should
Always be watching
for the knowledge
That unlocks
life's secrets

Remember that time
I escaped an inferno?
Covered in blisters and burns
...It was unnerving
Eternal pain

That day I learned
Each seconds is pertinent
If I comply like a blind sheep
I'll miss the miracle
Happen that's in front of me


Im refusing
To be
A cog
That wants
To be caught
In the machine

I don't wanna wake up to the sounds of alarms beeping
I don't want my sole purpose of getting out of bed "to ring you up at a register"
Waiting and waiting for an off day to finally come around
Guess that's why they tell you early to "follow your dreams" to go to college"
To be honest I am really sick of waiting
Especially when the path is right in front of me
Begging to be recognized.

Signal sacred
smokey basement
Holy, hatefit
Make me brave
just brave enough
could I stay an angry sapient
with no ideas
no chance of makin it
Where the hell you been?
Your time is up

(old poem from 2010)
I'm a Swashbuclin'
Mean Muggin'
One of a kind sweetheart
Fresh off the grid
Party Package

Doctor to your down days..
I am the *******
Who advertises floss,
But, doesn't floss

{Jeanettetrospect}
{Look! Im the lonely girl
With all the friends
I finished the sentence
Without any words}

OR any work
From my left hand
I am/ An Ideabot
an inkblotting machine

But what does the message care,
That it is just a message
and not the messenger
. . . .
It would rather be

I am the caricature carving details in myself
Another shepherd mending felt
In a tool shed

I am the criminal  
Crying for help
For the last time
Sell all the beggars my *******
Soul

Then ask the pigeons
For forgivness.

Tailor made
Shared sickly stain
Let it stay
Let it marinate
Let.... It bubble up,
Then over
In to my dimwitted face
Where my lips hang
Ear to ear
And your breath still reaks of beer
But I don't mind it
I hold onto your memory because its
The only thing I have
-bowedbranches -camryn Jones
12-12-11

Dear God
forgive me yet again
for I stirred the pity ***
a bit too long
and its honestly pathetic

Leaking sloppy leaflets
in my T.V. dinner
knowledge hardly seeked
means these lessons

are heavy here we are
deemed to repeat em
..................................
as if they aint needed
keep breathing.......deep

breath veterans
catch residual drips
gifted down the latter
from our herritege

Beat
allow sweet vibration
sweep me to such a profound
synch       spiral
through the cortex

Here's a slideshow
of your **** show so far

Beat
allow me to forget
about being human
for 3 minutes
I beg you
can't do this alone
dopamine doesn't seem to get released
as easily
as the lucky loo's


where do I go to meet my teachers
have yours eyes roll back then
pulled into the sediment
please
plug me up where
the soil once slept
so it doesn't tire of me
does the dirt know what it needs?
how did my brain forget to breathe?

It's been said by the tribesman
grief is definite
death is certain
I hate how it's poetic

Head stretched too thin

to write the final sentence
On a script
our maker
had prewritten

Alive & Arms wide
we collide
with oblivion
Still I sin
and continue
breathing

in spite of terrible tribesman
that like to keep
lies locked between
teeth
and spread stories
where sweet girls are ******
in hopes they believe they're
superior
to the victims
they meant to
rip to pieces

stealing dreams
from the few people
not stagnating
in misery

Sad we started
leaving wishes
where they bloom

Demented Distance
dead empty
the light
inside you
is soon to diminish

Doomed to move
through dimensions
useless in my attempts
to rescue the universe

Demolish all the nonsense
you've ever wanted
Everything you were
taught inside that box is false

From afar
I watched
as you dropped
the plot
Demi Gods died for all this?

until held hostage
in a monsters death grip
ever since I expect
the most unfortunate
of situations

because its better to
remain
in a constant state
of suffering

May you sleep in your final resting place
May it wash the tired from your face
May your eyes grow back their light, rid you of your wrongs overnight

And spare you
Spare you of that horrid sight

May you resist the urge to scratch
Shrug off the cringing as you look back
Back at the laughs you won't get back
And the trail of fabric you have yet to patch
Picking
At
Your
Scabs
Only
Make
Scars last
This I've learned from the things I lack
"One cannot run from their past"

You were,
Infected
And doomed to roam the Earth
With the horrid sight on repeat

Tortured souls
Placed gracefully
On tempered coals
"Don't sqeal, don't wimper, don't say a word"

They whisper
Because they can't stand the sound of their own indecency
..and ancient echoes ring through

"May you find freedom somewhere else
Fried through each and every cell
Into you , countless angels fell
But for now FOCUS...

Now, I know this place resembles hell
One day they too will perish
When that day comes
They will hear the screams of tortured souls
You my child, will see waving hands and windchimes

"So, for this glistening moment in human history
FOCUS .. on something bigger than yourself
Don't shrudder
Dont Shreik
Simply lay there lovely as ever
And burn."

Compassion & Action
set me free
jus really need to be lonely
for a second
Left NAKED
so that stretched seconds
**** dry your insides
shoulda stuck to daydreaming
Jesus please release me
the leash is lingering a bit
too long
The ring is ceaseless
Disease that'll likely eat my head
Times like these I kinda regret
tattooing "Ramble On"
On my forearm
Though it's an art and it's cathartic


again this is directed at a select few
5 minutes of peace
please please
make the squawking stop
I'm gonna get ornery
Too blind to see the exit sign
Found Guidance
in the crisis  
You cake on a coat of
niceness
most likely
hiding behind
******* masks
f* your jaw
you can't stop
flapping

Beat da basic ***** right outta dem. Vow to never let the light dim. **** it up or
suction cup it
cuz somethings stuck inside the succubus
it's not love or lust
Lot like utter disgust, yo ****** pass the bucket
That ***** leaking ****
Or black sludge
Lookin' for anotha sucka to lure in
Sure does **** for them.

gonna go
Gonna go
Gonna go beast mode
Or beat hoes with a flow
So positive
Lock it in or jot that down
Honor me wit honesty
Yo homonyms
Can't Steal my oxygen
Detoxin off all my prisons
In Paradise painted cage
Why bother with
Letting rage win
When man kept pushing
passed my limits
time
and time again
Ugly actions try to hack me
But I can't let that reality
Matter to me
Guess it matters to me
Wish it mattered to you
Zero dark thirty quotes
I hold up like a moral code
Keep all these inside jokes on the low low
Making it sacred only to  those who matter most.
GO
Beat em til they sleepy
Aye I need to re-lease
The FIRE within in
Me (me) me (me) me (me)
The meanest of the mean
Make more make make more more
freaking beats
For me
To beat and bruise

The nest I mend
with little knives
and countless crude
malevolent lies
fill the brim with spit
and sweat
pray it sticks so I can rest

Paint
        a
          paradise

just
     to
        hide


a prison in

                     Apologize
                                       to try
                                                and fix it

Timid *******
                  become buzzard food
looks like you got lots to lose


                   Lucid State
                                   clipped a fuse
                                                     a little too late

I'm not used to this
Afraid I aint able
to keep you sane
let alone stable..
Hey who knows?

Maybe I can lift
your body off
the pavement
my angel wings
mangled

secretly
breakin' myself
so that I can
save you.

The pain gets
too much to handle
Too much flame
And not enough candle

Waiting to combust
With the rowdiest
Sons a *******
So Solipsistic

How are all of you
Steering this ship
From a sole conscious
What does the abyss say?

Honestly I am fed up
With their kind!

Always
Trying to rewrite
The psalms of witches
All I got's my word
So that's all you'll be given

What?!
You gonna burn me?
Go 'head
Unburden me
Of these "impurities"


Energy's eternal
Watch as it's transfered
From my fingers
Back into the earth

The final embers were flickering
For what felt like forever

Sizzle
       Crackle
              Pop

They'll never learn from this

Breath in
take a wiff
Fight off blind spots
Dissolve these
four walls
that box me in
eating away at my perception
fill my lungs up with smoke
...pause...
and choke choke choke
the worries
loosen from the bone tissue
and temporarily
this gives me a profound dream

I can't handle
This web
You've got me tangled
Up in

Still feel
As if
My stomach's
getting pumped  

Oh, I wish you could win my
Fuggin' trust back
But  its  tragic
You say
You. dont. want. to
Win it back
Quit getting upset
Because I don't see that happening


You claim I come up
Assumptions
Come to find out
Your secrets are
gut wrenching

So I'd rather not unpack here
Or uncover anymore,
She can clean out
Your closet next time

I can take a hint
............

I'm trying to take the hint
.......

But it's like I've  just been body slammed

Have you seen
Where serpents
Twist
Into one flesh
Are they ripping off
Ones' heads?
Or are they
Simply
a symbol
Of the double helix
System
So impossible
To crack codes
Crack skulls
Let's peek inside
Its clavicle

Speak easy
Hit the peace pipe
Hate is fleeting
...........................

Don't make a peep
Hear the sounds
Draining around you
Feel my silk skin
And forget


YOU

EVER

EVEN

EXIST
.............
Dear blood of my blood
Moon and my stars,
Do you really
Have what it takes
..To be wild
Truly and irrevocably wild
With me
And Leave everything behind
Sometimes I doubt if I do
But I need to be your hero
So there's no room for second guessing
All there is to do is just
GO

How many days
Must I run through
Til happiness is found..
Too many..
Still I hold onto to the hope that I see some golden arches
With waving hands to greet me
Angels singing all around
Acknowledge my accomplishments
But I'm just a sloppy slab of ****
Constantly digging
For diamonds in coal mines
And happiness, it only exists
In my mind
I know this
And once i find it
I will bury it six feet under
Never to be lost or forgotten
Again.