Paint
        a
          paradise

just
     to
        hide


a prison in

                     Apologize
                                       to try
                                                and fix it

Timid *******
                  become buzzard food
looks like you got lots to lose


                   Lucid State
                                   clipped a fuse
                                                     a little too late

I'm not used to this
Afraid I aint able
to keep you sane
let alone stable..
Hey who knows?

Maybe I can lift
your body off
the pavement
my angel wings
mangled

secretly
breakin' myself
so that I can
save you.

The pain gets
too much to handle
Too much flame
And not enough candle

Waiting to combust
With the rowdiest
Sons a *******
So Solipsistic

How are all of you
Steering this ship
From a sole conscious
What does the abyss say?

Honestly I am fed up
With their kind!

Always
Trying to rewrite
The psalms of witches
All I got's my word
So that's all you'll be given

What?!
You gonna burn me?
Go 'head
Unburden me
Of these "impurities"


Energy's eternal
Watch as it's transfered
From my fingers
Back into the earth

The final embers were flickering
For what felt like forever

Sizzle
       Crackle
              Pop

They'll never learn from this

Breath in
take a wiff
Fight off blind spots
Dissolve these
four walls
that box me in
eating away at my perception
fill my lungs up with smoke
...pause...
and choke choke choke
the worries
loosen from the bone tissue
and temporarily
this gives me a profound dream

I can't handle
This web
You've got me tangled
Up in

Still feel
As if
My stomach's
getting pumped  

Oh, I wish you could win my
Fuggin' trust back
But  its  tragic
You say
You. dont. want. to
Win it back
Quit getting upset
Because I don't see that happening


You claim I come up
Assumptions
Come to find out
Your secrets are
gut wrenching

So I'd rather not unpack here
Or uncover anymore,
She can clean out
Your closet next time

I can take a hint
............

I'm trying to take the hint
.......

But it's like I've  just been body slammed

Have you seen
Where serpents
Twist
Into one flesh
Are they ripping off
Ones' heads?
Or are they
Simply
a symbol
Of the double helix
System
So impossible
To crack codes
Crack skulls
Let's peek inside
Its clavicle

Speak easy
Hit the peace pipe
Hate is fleeting
...........................

Don't make a peep
Hear the sounds
Draining around you
Feel my silk skin
And forget


YOU

EVER

EVEN

EXIST
.............
Dear blood of my blood
Moon and my stars,
Do you really
Have what it takes
..To be wild
Truly and irrevocably wild
With me
And Leave everything behind
Sometimes I doubt if I do
But I need to be your hero
So there's no room for second guessing
All there is to do is just
GO

How many days
Must I run through
Til happiness is found..
Too many..
Still I hold onto to the hope that I see some golden arches
With waving hands to greet me
Angels singing all around
Acknowledge my accomplishments
But I'm just a sloppy slab of ****
Constantly digging
For diamonds in coal mines
And happiness, it only exists
In my mind
I know this
And once i find it
I will bury it six feet under
Never to be lost or forgotten
Again.

Bandmate
Belittle me
We Been too mad to practice
Yeah there you go
Back in your casket

Clip them lips which you been
Flappin'
Keep Searching for better aspects
Here's some magic
How do you react when you learn what your mad at?
Bet it's dramatic
I'll bet you beg God to grant us a crumb of laughter

This pen beats the ink to
stink bleeding into oil wells
that were too afraid to speak

Breaking bone barriers
from reasons in the distance
begging to be drug into
existence

Ask & receive
I can see your conceited
halo
Gleaming in those shiny rhyme schemes
What are you afraid of?
trailing off the barren track?
Bumping into the unfamiliar?

Let the people see
your trembles
only the truest humans
can relate

The trembles that make
your temple shake at an
involuntary rate
makes you reach for
dreams you buried
eons ago

Trigger happy
Finger driven
Don't lift my body
Just my spirit
Is it weird
That I don't always
Like sensual
Unusual at best
I'm used to my human  I guess
I am another animal
let out all my anomalies
& scream for closure,
For criticism,
For Recognition

True passion
That's must be what I'm lackin'
What I have been asking / for
What I am after

And actually
You never asked me
How I felt about anything
And now I'm beginning to think
That I might matter

We all were trained to behave
Nod and wave
Mind your manners

Pull in your waist
Sit and wait obey
And wash our brains
for generations

And of course I did
'Cause like Ma
I'm expected
To serve him
Smiling
Without question

So I Stroke his fragile ego
Everyday
Out of fear they may
Throw a fit
And force me in a chokehold

Again...


HEY


Tell me
How's my throat feel
In your bony bh made fingertips
Careful there sweety
We wouldn't want
to cause a cramp


What I can't for
Is the day
You try and break
the wings of a real bh

They're bulldozing over your gravesite
To make more ******* apartments
Hey! Let's add more idiots to the mix
To forget you exist
This is where we'd go to hid our secret
No one will ever know the extent of it
So I throw your poetry in fire pits
To resurrect your presence
In the here and now my angel
I'm so elated you found peace
Though, I'm stuck under construction
Seeking ways to embrace the living
Were seperated by dimensions
Intention is key
I reach out for your hands everytime there's a breeze
You couldnt even give me a reason
Let alone write a letter
About what went down during your last fight to get better
Oh, i cried violently same as each false alarm
Each time you challenged death
He came back stronger than before
I want you to hammer away
On my puny brain
Take my memories
But leave their stain
Because not even I can embrace it's rich paint

Don't want to be
Eager to meet my maker
But I'd trade places
With you any day...

It didn't have to get here,
Ya know
Grow out of it
Peak around the wall
Who's crowding yall
Not my story
Flash forward
I'm just here to record it
Of course
Why wouldn't I?
Portals and doorways
Are the Same thing
Wait, wouldn't that be cosmic  foreplay?
Who cares
Can't prepare one bit
Don't you dare try and parent me
Can't and don't distract you from
Doing it
Do more
Duty to drop bombs
And send thought bullets
Sa'll good when the observer isn't hurting right?!?!
Take me out of the equation
Destroy/create  pains/gains
Conflicting issues
And I turned my back
And let it become a wall
Apologies, some are long overdo
They know not what they do
But most times I think they do
Let me take a sec
To sit down and
duel this one out
Please stop talking
Can't concentrate
Voi/ces Hiss
Toppling over
One another
Assuming their all above rank
Ain't okay with playing favorites
Untie me

Im a vague ****
Made bankrupt
Able to lay claim
To anything I touch

Pull my people like puppets
Til they need Me

Claymation
Stop-motion
Plots open often

A heretic hears from the heavens
Again
Alone by an alter she had chosen
To win
A heart that was already torn

Coax the lion
tempt the snake
guide the sheep
and lead the wolves astray

We are trapped within ourselves
noses glued in biographies
cobwebs covering the shelves
the big book of 'WHYs' I havnt even tried to read
too much respect, too much mystery
I leave it there abandoned
because my stomach churns to look at it
meant for mint condition
wanted and forbidden
it took so much time to sew up
took so much thought when written
I know you BREATHE EAT SLEEP,
like me you have human needs
Page by Page
you spectate
We feed off of mutual inspiration
WE

We're not all there but we are all able
To be fair to be scared and disappear into a thankful
Pain filled angst lull
The curtains wont come down for some time, but that's all part of the sell. If you don't get that then you won't get anywhere, but helped.
So what's the use in cursing circumstance
If its  sure to offer little assurance to your curb serpent dance.
I'm certain of the curtailing of half an earthly chance to catalyst a curse to lift of a pair of perfect hands.
Nail us to every crooked cross.
We deserve a chance to be terse with the boss, the loss, and every ticking clock conscious of it's own fog.
Let it be a cause for something catastrophic.

Where do we go now
After forging empires
Just to tear them down?

Too much tension
floating about
cranium astounded
now outstretched

goops of grey matter
turn to bubbles
wrap up whats left
of our minds

We are whats left of the tribe
two migrants
relying on bowed branches
to guide us

but there's no dimming
said fire inside us
might have to muster up
whats left of my strength

because its bout to be just me
I can sense the heartbeat depleting...

whyy couldnt you just ******* wing it
to keep it moving?

God please
WE
Needa learn
some patience
Learn some faith
what a weight
to take off
you got me?
keep your promises
to modesty
watch over me honestly,
on your word
will you wake me
when I wander off
too far

When real danger happens
It will be downplayed
Making US think
It's okay
To be afraid
And blame the little guy
Don't think of commenting
Just keep that trap shut
Kick me under infinite tables
Sweep it under multiple rugs
Stop BLUFFING the DONT BE
DONT BE DUMB
Dialog, that keeps
Popping up....
It was around this point that my notebook got stolen
And I lost an amazing poem
But new version coming soon.

Where have you been?
I'm always craving
Your response
Stop it
You stay
Stomping on
The friendship I want
For us
Why can't you just
Let me love
Family is few and
far between
What have we become?

Therapeutically nuking
What used to be
Can a noose really have beauty
Who is me
Quit picking and poking
At the details
The mirror shows
Where ive failed
And held myself
Lower than anyone else

... it's freaking frightening
To feel the rope pull a little too tight in me
Turns out they had thought

Most likey they
Should lie to me

Woman of the house
modern princess in a tower
type ****
Type up your **** talk
and I'll chalk it
It'll be fun
to see your
fingertips
fall off
My auto bio should be called,
"LOST CAUSE"
Cold Contact
Case Closed
Arms open
Mouth sewn
Fit to freak the **** out
Leave me outta the line up
Likely to live with delusions
....on a loop
don't ever call me
"baby"
that name is reserved
for him

I'll break it down for ya
break dance beach

I read dem daily Eulogies
To early tunes
I know it sounds morbid
but don't worry its cool
Gives me a chance to duel my dual diagnosis
SOON as the warm sun
Cast my curtains open
***** you bet, Both Sides, Show up  and You know they be holding
Tip o' the sword  Tack sharp
Make Sure that poisons' potent
Soon as the worms' are pushed
Up from the dirt
Good mernin ' Sermons
...likely to listen yet never
Learn

I'll never forget the time you told me
"I can see myself with her"
Now all the flashes in all there forms come to plague me
The room riddled with symbols I was too dumb too see
How I let another ******* me in the first place is astounding
When I never believed in this ****
How about now that you are with her, what do you see?
Another victim?
Creatures naturally want what they can't have
So give them none of you
That way there's no ammunition
When guns go slingin'
Truth is you never should've made a room here
I told myself you were only here to trash it
And I was right
Yes words are ****, but it seems the truest of things spill out before we can catch them
Especially things we meant to lie about
I told myself I couldn't fall for you
If I would've listened we could have still been ******* friends..