After you left again,
I cried tears like the river
Black as the styx
Dark as my demons,
Below the surface
This twisted arms race
What a contorted love,
Be my bridge,
I fear of drowning,
All over again,
In the safety of your skin

There are songs I will never choose to sing
Words that echo the halls inside my chest
Scars made monument to pain of the past

Most days begin with quiet mornings
The air rising to a slow boil by noon
Sweat tracing the curves of my spine
Like fingers of forgotten lovers

Storms draw near over crashing tides
Racing with the wind as if they had a destination
Beauty and sorrow thick and heavy
Like roses laid on cherry caskets

I will sing songs of forgiveness
To all the men I once was
Remember the chains they carried
And the cruelness in their hearts

Puddles in black asphalt make for perfect lagoons
murky waters stirring, kissed with light bent from the sun
air conditioners brace the ledge, ready to jump
marlboro in the air, sunday morning is a holy sight
unanswered questions on bus stop benches,
basketball court with boys who have sprouted like weeds,
too fly for high, or too high for fly,
all background music to the thumping of ball on concrete,
Elders on rocking chair thrones atop of stoops,
witness to all that plays out,
from corner store ballets and 3 a.m. shootouts,
The beauty of it all, an orchestra of bodies,
awakening from slumber for yet another day

These late nights and early mornings leave my mind wondering,
Examining the complexities i leave behind when I wake again,
Something about where the birds learned their songs
Or how the rivers knew which direction to run in,
I've dissected the smallest parts of myself,
Cut them open end to end to see what contents they held,
Hoping that somewhere inside myself held the answers,
I am learning the ins and outs of the thought process
How one triggers another, what a shotgun conversation,
Playing target practice with paper and a pen,
Writing in ink so I can't take back the past outbursts,
Rambling is easy when the mind is alive and the body is deceased.

We all want the ocean
Or to hold mountains in our palms
Feel the winds whisp between our fingertips
And the warmth of summer on our necks
We all want everything
But to be content with this small plate of life
Should fill the heart up to its brim

Liquid night, bottled and priced
3 shots of love and a dime bag
kerosene nostrils and white collared lies
this demon is a shadow
follows close when the sun is up
surrounds me under the moonlight
too much gunplay and valentines
I am no rose cheeked cherub
but still gripping at the sunset
waiting for its return
amongst other one way plane tickets

My flag is raised white
This field of my chest
Covered in boot prints and gun smoke
Avoid the shrapnel, the left over explosives
I know I have lost the battle,
Ive lost the war,
Take me back to your golden kingdom,
I am yours, do with me as you wish
My heart could not have it any other way

My chest flutters with the thought of you
My hands columbus to your body
These uncharted territories
My heart is learning to survey
Your oceans and ridges
The bridges between us,
Our bodies embrace
without any words to give
Simply the breaths between
These lustful longings

Feathered woman,
With wings that grew
between shoulder blades,
Point me to the gates,
Forgive my brooding,
The clocks stood still,
One hand pointed me north,
The other set to the south,
So please if I may ask of you,
To lend me your wisdom,
Point me to my destination,
Because time forgot to tell

This blood fat summer has swallowed me whole,
Gulped down my body in one swift inhale,
Living with this pair of fists battering my surface,
One resting on my jaw, another on my gut,
Sleeping under shingles and tin roves,
Waiting for night to settle itself in,
While the others dreamt in their beds,
I wandered twilight streets with a bottle and a question,
Saw my reflection in a puddle under streetlights,
Wondered who’s face stared back at me
An alien memory clawed its way out from beneath my skin
Left a scar for me to remember
The boy I once knew

After the towers fell,
My father went off to war,
12 months later he brought back the battlefield
We didn’t talk about it much as it just hung there,
Afraid of the left over land mines, we would tiptoe
around the room, through the kitchen, back to bed.
-
My mother is a bottle,
Empty now but the glass corpse still outlines her frame,
4 years sober, going on 5 after her brother click-clacked his way out of our lives,
I tattooed the day he passed on my arm,
1. to remember him and 2. to know that today is better than what my life once was,
-
I read somewhere that conversations are like knife fights,
Ive chosen my words carefully like dull blades,
So if I am ever to strike a nerve it won’t leave anyone bleeding,
I am afraid of blood.
I hate the smell,
the taste, the color of the stains it leaves,
The consistency,
I am afraid of bleeding,
I am too vulnerable in this world to hurt anymore,
Every breath closer to the minute i’ll break,
I am afraid to break and i worry about how many pieces I will leave in my wake
and if anyone will be there to pick them up and glue me back together,
Today I am happier than most days in these past years,
She has taught me patience,
All I worry about now is losing her warmth

The anatomy of my country,
I am learning to understand the rivers
I know they are the veins that flow to the heartland
This heart, lying somewhere in Nebraska
Where the land is wide and golden, it pumps in tune
The hands of New York or Los angeles,
The ones that have touched so much and love far too well,
They give and they take and give back again,
So much to hold far too much to feel,
These legs lying somewhere in florida or Arizona
I do not know if it is the tropics of the desert heat
But they know the way the world moves,
The head lies somewhere in north Dakota
Such a sound mind, for she knows what she wants,
Such shoulders of Seattle or Maine,
whispering to the rest of the body some cry for remembrance,
Way up there in the cold of december,
The inner thigh of Louisiana,
Such excitement and wonder,
Let me touch it for a little while welcomed me in,
The between of Texas, The ribs of Maryland or Virginia,
A stomach lies in Missiouri,
The lungs of Wyoming
All pumping themselves back to heartland
The rivers know their way,
The excess of my love has run off to the atlantic
Poured itself into the pacific,
I am caressing the carolinas,
The anatomy of my country.
Has taught me the love of the plains
and the wonder to touch the oceans,
She is everything, She is always,
And she is teaching me the difference

I stole like a thief
Came in under the cover of night
Took what I wanted
Fled out the window
Ran home under the moon
Your heart in my hands
Staining my palms
Still alive and beating
I know that it is wrong to
take what is not your own
But their was so much love inside your chest
I couldn't help but wonder what it
would be to feel that same thing inside my own

After the chatter of evening
A hush floods the room
The willow seeps the moon
Upon the yard in its wake,
She's been dancing for hours now,
Making a mausoleum
of this home

This lighthouse of a body turns
as the evening rolls in
This fog of a week has been
clouding the thoughts that circle
round and round inside my head,
I still do not know what it is that
makes these storms gather within myself
Still do not know how to make
all the thunder in me settle to a hum
I still guide the ships home at night
I still stand tall in the rain

What makes you?
Write a poem on what makes up yourself or a person you are interested in. The "recipe" of this person can be structured however you want, be creative! Title the poem "Recipe" and use #recipechallenge when you are done! If you want your poem to be read message konr or The Creep that Loves You and we will be sure to read! Have fun and enjoy! :)

There came a time
Where I did not think of tomorrow
I only hoped to see the end of today
Pleaded for a sign from somewhere
I was met with a desert,
The cool of the night,
A cry for mercy,
And the silence of war

Ashamed of my complexion,
Ashamed of all the words,
Ashamed to show my innards,
Ashamed of all the long nights
and the actions that took place,
Ashamed of the women I fed empty promises,
Ashamed of every goodbye,
Ashamed by the way it all played out,
Ashamed of the confidence I carried,
Ashamed of the crown I wore,
Ashamed of the mirror,
Who am I,
and what is left of me?

When the woman you love is a poet,
It is hard to tell the difference,
between a poem and a conversation,
When the woman you love is a poet,
She will never speak her thoughts,
I have to decipher the lines,
When the woman you love is a poet,
It's hard not to be ensnared by the words,
And remember that the notes she sings,
Were not all for you

1.) It is possible to love something more than you could ever dream of loving yourself

2.) Life without you is getting easier

I never even knew your name
never had enough courage to say hello
Just eyed you from across the room when nobody was watching
They way you wrote your poems with your head down
How you always made sure to cover your mouth when you laughed
You are the only girl that has ever made me buckle at the knees
loose focus, can’t focus, no ability to make sense of anything
You made me want replace all the parts of me you wouldn't like
I never even knew your name
I never had enough courage to say hello

When it's all over,
As the faces fade,
When the hum of
fluorescents cease,
And the engines
sputter to a halt,
All that remains
are the oceans
Inside of us,
And the words
made in their wake

I take my drinks all liquor
My cigarettes burn to the filter
I drink neon like it's a tanning booth
I've got more fingers than apologies
My mouth speaks in silver tongues
I love the way you look at me

This love ain’t easy
This love has scrapes on it’s knees
This love forgets the words sometimes
This love ain’t easy
This love trips on it’s shoe laces
This love has sweaty palms
This love ain’t easy
But it’s all the love I got

Of all the things to remember,
Put my name somewhere on a list,
Place me next to the smallest of dreams,
Burn the pages, they are only words,

Of all the things to forget,
Start your engine and push the throttle,
Racing down the boulevard,
Too fast for anyone to love you the same,
I heard you don't even see the red nowadays,

Of all the things to cry for,
Push your pencils into my chest,
Neither of us can undo the past,
It unfurled onto our sofa cushions,
and rested it's heaviest of hearts

Of all the things to smile for,
Raise your glass,
Whiskey flavored livers,
Sang songs till the moon howled back,
Thank you for this

I was in love with my youth
The new of your figure
The burning in my lungs
My heart raced like the tempo
I wore badges of stolen honor
Parts of me wanted to rest
I burned out everything
Wrote textbooks of words
All of them said the same thing
None of them spelt the meaning

Slow and steady wins the race
so please be patient with my heart,
I'm back to notebooks filled up past
the brim with simple love poems
and an empty bed to preach them to,
She has done and filled me up,
Put light back in my smile and
remembered that blue is my favorite color.
So even with hearts beating fast
playing kickball inside my ribcage,
I will walk slow, remember that
slow and steady will win the race,
So hold my heart, and teach it patience

We who at funerals tend to weep,
We who stay close to grave digger's feet
Hoping that our time will come sooner,
That the bruises will be black and bluer that the last,
Replaying all the memories from the past,
Because I know that I am looking
for a new bed to lie in,
A new heart to confide in,
A new body to die in,
Cause this one's got nothing left,
So clip these wings and shackle my feet,
Sink me twelve meters deep,
Fill the insides with the ocean,
and let this slumber set softly

I just wanted to feel again,
I knew the properties of space,
Stayed within my borders
Held colors in my hands,
I know nothing,
I want to be held by the world,
But now I am silent
I’ll probably stay that way,
It is hard to express some feelings