I'm just stuck in this meaningless messy mush of loneliness.
With a numbing sensation for a brain,
And the thump of my heart keeping me going.

Things lose their meaning and flowers look grey.
I don't know how I feel about anything.
Days get shorter but Jesus Christ the nights are long again.

So let's remember each other from then.
Not from fights or arguments we had...
But from that starlit kiss, we shared,
And the way we froze time with each other's embrace.

"You will get better."

I know.
That's what everyone says.
But after so many copy and pasted memories of the same conversations,
Those words become watered down
And you start to lose your grip on the end of the rope that's holding you together.
Until you find that same rope around your neck.
Or you stay on the end and struggle and fight like hell...
Taking drugs and drinking to make yourself believe you're further away from the bottom.

I guess that's the tragedy of life, isn't it...
Just sad people looking after sad people.
Pushing each other along until they push too hard and someone is left behind.

Yeah, I'm not escaping this for a while...
But Jesus Christ I'll hold onto the end of that rope for as long as I can.
Ill cut and chisel away at it from time to time,
But I'll stay there.
Until I find the strength to climb back up.

So you'll always know where to find me,
Just stuck at the bottom of my rope, like a fly on the edge of a venus fly trap.
A lit cigarette slowly burning to ash in a tray.

Sometimes I miss the old me,
The me that would run around in mountains, and swim in rivers.
But now every thought is a mountain and the waters are cold.
My anxiety shaking me back down to earth where my mind is never at ease with the birds in the sky.
Coz the birds, you see, they've never quite been in reach,
Every goal he's set, every day he tried
He always ends up back here, just wanting to fly.

Now he sits in a room, big enough for two.
a devil child with a black paintbrush,
drawing art on his skin,
Inspired by his mind.
Well, he never knew what it was like,
To see a shooting star and not feel scared.

I might just bury myself in the nights' sky and hide away from the world for a few hours. Think up some arrangement of words spoken before me, and try to be happy. For this is all that I know, living in a house where the walls bend and warp through the dangerously long hours of the night, weighed down by painful memories and bad smells.

We listened to songs and smoked in our happiness.
We wrote warmth into poems and cuddled at night.
Your smile was contagious, but now it's all gone.
Because the flowers have died, and the petals are sharp.
Theyll never smell as sweet without you by my side.