They say the saddest people are the ones who smile and laugh the most
I believe That's true..
You don't understand how hard it is to wake up everyday and put on a mask, & laugh and smile at everything just to get you outta my head..
Just to keep the dreadful thoughts away, they won't leave no matter how much I demand, but then again I don't expect you to understand... Cause I refuse to say a word to you, but my broken eyes beg and plead for you to notice, to notice I'm not okay, that's why when I look at you or others I smile, hoping that maybe you'll see how fake it is, that behind it are tears ready to explode out.. So why won't I jus tell you? Why not jus say how I truly feel.. Why can't I jus be honest about the situation at hand.....
I don't because I know
you won't understand....

if i could I would change the world to be a better place
not this troubled one that we have to face
there would be no worries, no selfishness, or greed
& a hungry mouth i would gladly feed
soldiers wouldnt die fighting in a war
i would change it all & we'd live in peace once more
I'd change it all around and make it a place fit to live
if i could change the world, this is wat i would freely give...

Do you see the real me?
Or just the mask everyone else sees?
I tell you my hopes and my dreams.
But are you truly listening?
Or are you just sitting there?
I speak the truth to you and nothing else.
But I feel like you just hear lies.
I give you the key to me,
But you don't care.
You just toss it away.
Did you ever see beneath my looks.
To the person within.
Or did my "cuteness" blind you from seeing..?
Seeing that I have emotions.
And have more potential then you could ever guess.
I'm a mystery wrapped in a puzzle, hidden behind wall after wall.
I tried to let you in though,
Show you the way,
to see the real me, the person I truly am.
And not the fake one everyone thinks is me.
But before you got there.
You gave up, on me, on us, on all we had.
Now you're back with the rest of them.
Only seeing my facade.
I just wished that you could see.
The true me, the one I wanted you to see...
Too bad I guess,
If only she were able to see how much she really meant to me...

Always living in fear
Afraid that failure is always near
This has left my spirit broken
These are things I've left unspoken.
   I'm feeling all alone
The feeling is worst than what is shown
The fear is really growing
And now the fear is really showing.
   I'm really feeling down
Even if you don't see my frown
Inside I am shaking
Inside I am not faking.
    On the inside I am crying
On the inside there is no lying
I'm afraid of what's to come
I'm afraid because it seems it has already begun.
     Always living in fear
Afraid that failure is always near
This has left my spirit broken
These are things I've left unspoken...

You've never known the hell I've lived.
there is pain
beyond your wildest dreams
or perhaps it is a nightmare to you
but for me,
just one more day alive means everything and even though i am
screaming crying
and dying, at least i am still fighting.
so before you think
that i am weak
think of the pain
you simply cannot fathom...I handle things u couldn't even at your peak!

U know I used to love her beyond words..
My mind and heart caressing her curves..
I didn't know the real her, she was disguised as a dove.. But I guess that's what I get for messing with
birds..
But I'm stronger now, After a long search I found a new me, a gift well earned, through the pain I lost myself, but trust, she was a lesson well
learned...
I know I've done my share of dirt, some say I've always ben this huge flirt,
But there's just no way I could have ever caused u this kinda hurt..
I've noticed a few new smiles, the pain is slowly leaving, something good has ended, but something better is now beginning..
You said you'd always be there, No Matter what, & that your love was unconditional, that you'd be there till time came to a end..
But I can't dwell on spilled milk, since I always doubted those statements u made were true, I'm actually seeing the positive, that I'm much better off without you..

Some people say I'm a "genius",
Some say I'm a "natural born writer",
Some say I'm "Crazy" or "Insane" Some even go so far as to say I'm a Poet...
But see, that is not how I see it,
The way I see it Is not that of jus writing or poetry,
But rather a expression of emotion, no matter where I am.. I stand at work in my mind, I begin to assemble phrases, words, and lines, and feelings..
Because to truly write you must feel!
You must freely write your emotion!
To write the truest thing you must learn to let go off your deepest darkest secrets...
You cannot let someones opinion of your poetry change you! I never did..
Because your poetry is your emotion made flesh..
Allow the words to flow from ya mind to your pen to paper, from the hands to the Keys...
Allow an internal combustion of words! So again I ask,
Am I really a Poet??
Because while Poets create Passion filled masterpieces,
Me?
I create Emotion....