I tell myself I think,
And I think only well,
I listen and I work,
I look for and I play,
I seek and hide.

I tell myself tales asking, asking for help,
I imagine to turn things that upset into a haven,
Heaven in my head, heaven in my head,
I should have remained depressed, died alone
For my family turned so embarrassed.
For my hurting soul to the extreme.

I don't want to be
            All that you claim not to be
But impose on others.

I don't want to be that filth,
            I'm looking for another
But find this and this is gold
            So I keep Golden treasure

I claim I cannot become
            But admire with that heart you sold
And I impose on others to become Gold.

So you say...

"My warrior, don't leave me!
She said, her heart in tears,
Her eyes with shines of wonderful surprise
All wrapped in fright."

" Don't worry, my great love,
I Will be back sooner than you can spell
Ivory Tower. "

"Oh, but I want to move!"

"Please, dear! It's for the best. Do trust me!"

"Oh, but I refuse, solanellely!"

"Then I will have to leave with a heart too sorrowed..."

As Missy watched the film tare down
Her heart of plastic wrap
Hanging above the TV set ideas started float
Around her hearts all left to hang above
Without a hope.

A day in town, away from the crowd,
Paying a visit to an aunt.
Return back home after Tea...
A ladies beauty spa, a New Cafe and... one *** shop: she enters:
- Hello! Do you have any metal *******?
.....

It wasn't my choice to go this 'wrong',
You played with my head and made me strong!
Strong in my love, strong in my hate,
It wasn't wrong what I intended;
To Hell with all that.

You messed with my head
For too long and for what?
A result none of us can get satisfied
With
Satisfaction coming the rest of your beloved soul.

Strong in my love, in my hate,
It wasn't wrong what I did
But... to Hell with all that.

You pulled your strings
I fought with my nightmares and your nightmares
And your power then my power
Which one was mine and which one yours?


Strong in my hate, in my love,
'Mighty  Powers. of God!'
It wasn't wrong what I wished for
But to Hell with all that.

It wasn't my choice to go all this 'wrong',
You played with my head but made me strong!
Strong in my love, with my love,
Strong my hate, in my hate for wrong, strong,
It wasn't wrong what I meant.

"It wasn't my choice to go this wrong" , she said.

If you don't understand that hate must win
                                                                ­        and all love must go to hell...

You still dare come to my grave!
Hmm. I must Have been really something to you!
'Meant a lot!
' Never imagined how precious I was to you!

You still coming to my grave... Hmm... 'Never thought you cared this much!

No more flowers?
Oh, well... You brought yourself....
And with a prayer... Nice!
Original.

Still coming to my grave...

Couldn't you just (and justly)
Live well in your world
And I in mine?




!

Inexcusable.

I tried and failed,
Then tried again, succeeded
Then tried
To do
That which is the Inexcusable good.
It turned up bad,
Which at some times felt very good...
Some others being bad and loud and terrible.

The beauty of love (illegal or not) lies in the pages if history.

If it hurts then it must be live
And all your sheep and cattle should feel honoured
For being slaughtered, to us the proof of
Great love.

For everyone
So we stopped fighting,
So we had that
Which cannot but mold the heart
To the most dignifying end...
The most beautiful touch of elegance...
But all that, wasn't but possible through pain.

And I wish you not to suffer more,
The world that seeks to **** your heart mending soul
Never to destroy your grace and beauty.
You little virus! Making one smile
In our times.

Because you needed a ***** in the House.
A sweet *****,
An awful *****,
A lousy *****,
A dreadful *****,
A lonely one,
A hopeful one,
A very very brave and powerful:
Real Hateful one.
A scarry *****,
A mighty *****,
A tired one...
A ****** filthy 'son of a gun' one!

The poor ***** that got broken,
AWW!
The sad ***** and pitiful,
The pretty *****,
Oh my Word! Oh, my Lord!

The charming and the jumping,
The petty...
The wonderful and working.

The stupid ***** you can't live with,
The one you can't live without.
"Better dead than that bad"

The natural *****,
The great *****,
"You little *****!"
The unnaturally something *****.

"My, my! The ***** that was
Is still mine!"

The healthy *****,
The stealthy *****,
The common *****,
The extraordinary *****...

A proud piece of rotting ****.
Your people, chosen or not disrespect.

The rotting *****,
Romantic *****,
The famished *****
And thirsty, eyes wide open,
Thinking *****, the doer *****,
The coldest *****,
You trending *****!

You want them
All                                 !
You want them

The wealthy *****,
The famous one,
The popular, loved n' hated one
The lofty one,
Superior one.
The Princess *****: you'll have to work for her and her lawn.

The never tired *****,
The always hard to take,
The better *****,
The one to money-make
Come true
The never wrong but needed *****,
Adored, much worshipped
Set free, caught in a web,
A bottle of champagne,
A cup o' tea,
A thought for thoughtful a *****
Who used to be too thoughtful,
Too loud,
Too something this and that,
To wrong.

Oh, faithful *****
Caught by all ******* love
For Gold and money and Fame you fall,
You have to.

Oh, sick of it,
Oh, knowing-it-all!
Creative *****, what have you done.
Inventive *****, illustruous *****?

My teaching a good lesson *****,
Thank you for helping me around.

Because you needed an idiotic *****!
A parting one,
Departing one,
An angry gal, good, sorrowed one.
Luckily a ****** one,
A greedy, thirsty for clean waters one,
A helplessly dreaming *****,
A needy one, needing a good witch,
The learning for better
In sickness and health,
Cleaning the wound, help mending a heart hurt
- gal!
A helpful one,
Much funny one,
A stronger one,
A stubborn one,
One to catch worms
Like every other one.

A witchy ****** annoying bitchey
Because without *******, what would be?
Oh what this world could be?

How to slice you chickens? asked the cow.
My hooves can't hold the knife...
******* all their fun or their sorrows?
My blade won't fit my grip...
These hooves, useless to our need!
You turned me into a sloppy cow!

In this maze of dreams and nightmares
nobody knows what is right or what is wrong
only your heart, true
can tell
what you know you couldn't just bare.

In this maze of dreams and nightmares
everyone searches for their heart lost then found,
lost then found,
only your heart true
will tell
to you what's bearable and what was too much to take.

In this maze of nightmares and dreams
nobody will care but for their own heart,
my heart yours, at some point
I lost it,
I can tell, I recovered it for revenge that's sweet,
Ah, this sweet revenge of ours!
And your hearts, true.

A whole world born out of fires, with passionate flames shaped
cutting ways through the thick cold air of the systems
as it spins and turns and rails...
The same path to existence ... for all our nightmares.

To have for somebody
Is to do whatever they want
Shut your mouth
Speak when you're asked
Then be accused and ****** up
For what you said or didn't say...
Well I said and did everything.

It is people and human beings that can't,
Under the spell of gods that invented their principles
Based on some... Games.

Waiters
Thinkers
Prayers
Tellers
Speakers
Doers
Dreamers
Believer­s.

Seekers
Finders
Keepers
Drawers
Pullers
Pushers
Creepers
****­ers

Oh, my God! What a lovely short but rich poem!

To all your poetic senses!

I'd **** you all now,
I thought this would be only fair
But loving, keeping you the way you like to be,
It's sane and safe. Amazing you want me to be,
The kind of a great annoying mystery
To haunt you still...
A memory you'll need, one Day...
Enjoy this wonderful silence.

The skies hold the please of a star,
The mountains of surreal clouds
Painted by the hands of a child
Sweet innocence and light
Under the canopy of which
The Shadows with their takers make believe.

Shuffling like an idiot
Watching saloon after saloon,
Tired of this tragedy of feelings finding a bed.
How to help, how to help someone who lived
Get back on their feet and leave,
Leave for the world, for the stars...
For the sake of this Universe...
For all our lies that mean our truth,
The truth now.

I promised I will be somebody
And I did so.
Was it all a dream or a lie well told to myself
Before all this happened... I kept lying to myself:
It's going to be fine.
Things are going to get better...
Somehow.

I walk into the lift
Looking at a patient, smiling cells pouring out faith...
Yeah, he's going to be fine.
I smile.

I then follow the path to the store,
We've built our little Mall in here,
Our world feels better now...
These monstruos businesses found place in our hearts,
Our patients feeling better,
Getting prettier every day,
Even our corpses are promised a nice last show.

One more show, one more show,
Please, I'd like one more...
It feels good to be alive... now.

I dream, and in my dream during my night revival
I find hope but then the Phone rings
And I Have to go back home;
There where I'm needed.

I walk alone, to the car,
The streets run the other way
And I keep hoping, keep hoping he's okay...
"What's the blood pressure, again?"

I run through the door when we arrive...
We Check and Scream at each other our knowledge
In sentences well taught in school.

We think we saved a life but then he wakes,
He wakes up, takes down the mask and the tubes...

Next stop of mine:
The morgue

The only thing that would Please your eye
Would be me, lying in a gutter
All ashamed with what you managed to arrange for me.
If one Day out the news would Please your Wounded heart:

Dead body, slayed in the most horrible fashion.
Gruesome scenery.
Attention!
Enjoy at your own mercy capacity!

The only way you were willing to offer
Is the slave way,
Now what can I say?
Slaves you always use then destroy
For maybe they'd tell,
May be they'd tell on you,
Their story spread all over the world.
You may never have me,
Never see me again after all this abuse!

Didn't you have enough fun?

If a pig said so I am going to commit suicide,
If a pig said so... I am going to end with my life
'cause some pig said so and a ***** arranged it all to happen!

Sure... If a pig and his *****... Did and said so...
Everything for the pig and the *****!

For everyone there is a place,
What is given to you is given to you
And you must take it,
Never fight back
As if you do
There will be consequences.

I wasn't the chosen one
But you forced me in
For God knows what
And God knows what
For whom and what I fight,
No matter what,
No...! Matter what you are
And what you think,
What you believe in,
See and fight
For that which is right for you!

Not feeling sorry
And you: not accepted the apology
And there is me not willing to apologise
As your apology was so right
That it ended the right thing to do
And your pride so much greater
That I learned how to be just like that:
Too proud, knowing my place...

For somebody to blame you
For their love!
The blame for love of the kind
That is healthy!
May you be healthily in love.
Healthily in love.

Of what you feel
A merit of your soul
Your mate your own
Chosen gift.

We live under the same blue sky,
same Moon, same stars, the same stories-telling clouds,
Why won't we live in peace and harmony?
Why **** and try to make of someone something else
When what we do is nothing wrong but different?
We live under the same blue sky
still ****** happens, all the time.
The child, naive, is wondering.
The man, the woman know and laugh and cry.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu

For the duty you want to believe in.

                      May you believe
In your justice and help in times of need.
                     May you be helped.

A reason you'll find, perhaps...
The reason... Behind the curtain...

And rain if you want, from the clouds!
Dear Dragons,
To you.
Love.

Mua

The third World War just happened.
Probably in my head.
Some say the fourth is coming
On its way.
But I know that it already ended.
It's time to think again...

I couldn't hate this world of yours more,
What's there to learn that they are too ******* important!?
Oh, but I didn't know, I didn't know!

I tried to avoid it, 'ate all that I could,
Felt ill to the stomach!
Outch,
Now time to fast and heal!

I even became a vegan,
Oh, well, that went' so well!
Only some birds here started being inviting, delicious food I reject
Like an idiot of a vegan.

Their favorites,
They have chosen their better tasks...
Oh, why...?
They have helped me go to a ****,
Be humiliated and feel like crap...
You are what'you aren't
For different reasons.

I shouldn't have bought clothes...
What was I thinking? That I was going to have a good reason to wear them?
I shouldn't have had ideals!
What was I thinking?
That there was room for my stupid needs in this wonderful world of yours?
I shouldn't have eaten...
What was I thinking? That after work someone should eat?
It's even worse for not having the job of your dreams.
I shouldn't have respected myself in any way...
How dared I...
Oh, and how dared I understand Any of your needs,
Any of your plans,
Any good Deed done
To Learn that
It was all for their contemptuous lies.

Oh, but I couldn't see,
I Couldn't see the loser you made of me!
I couldn't feel, I didn't know the worst you can make of me!
Oh, but I didn't fight, no I didn't learn,
And for what?
To have a laugh in my face or behind my back...

Oh, I couldn't see what was going on,
I Couldn't realise the tool you made of me
For what?
I Have no clue, no, no...
It wasn't too embarrassing nor cruel.

Oh! I couldn't see, nor hear, nor feel.
I couldn't,...
Can't
...
No more.

I'm sorry but I don't understand that I am only a loser,
I guess I couldn't understand...

This given hour of powerLoss - powerGain,
I couldn't tell obscurity from fame...

I didn't know lust turning to dust
And dust rising to last in a cloud of crows

This moment of a power-hour
To mean something again.

The heart beat of a friend
To have a long lasting life

Dust rising to make me understand
That feeling sorry isn't the way,

That I should be a Hero, act like a man,
Do something, find a way or get away.

This must be Gold of the old,
Of the oldies and goldies lives we had
She is this and that!
He is that and this!
Oh, Lord this wonderful experience.

How could I not love the world.
Wasting my existence
As I Have to understand,
I Have to understand all of you.
Your needs, primordial,
Always, your needs...
Your needs!
How could I not love the whole world!

You keep me alive,
Your passion, your soul,
The flame of your heart, bright,
The light in you, inspiring!

Love of my life, we had our wonderful times,
Now we're reliving our best decisions,
Times of sorrow, times of suffering,
All gone... there's nothing but happiness
We seek...
There's nothing but happiness to find here!
All this for the deserving.

Here my inner beast lies,
With all the knlwledge thought to shine,
Wishing for the best.

Great times

Migthy poems

So it feels: As if my head conducted by some poor soul
Not strong enough to take hold
And good grip on some horses...
My poor soul!
If only I had more wisdom!
If only I were stronger, wiser, better
At this game
In which my life was meant to matter...

So, this is how I am supposed to feel,
I was quite normal in my opinion,
Feeling quite less than always needed,
Beads and feeds crawling down my cheeks
Along with serene tears filled with significance.

Well, this is how I'm supposed to feel,
You were perfect and I was there
To annoy, to enjoy...
It was a crave of the heart that knows your normal well
But never dared to feel like you...
Never felt as a necessary call.
Oh, well...that day came when I was shown wrong.
Well, well...

Well! This is how I'm supposed to feel.