Some times its moments like these
that actually convince me that I should stay
listening to a new album
way passed when I should have shut my eyes

listening to you on call with her
and laughing so hard because of me and the other's shared looks
that I feel sore when I wake up

walking to a spot that I considered forgotten
that I considered my own
and sharing it with you

you see,
taking flight has always appealed to me
especially when the only one who knew my pain
just rubbed salt in the wound
cut off my arm
and took it as a souvenir

Now I can't bear taking flight
because that would mean leaving you behind
one of the only ones who understood me

Yes, you were one of the only ones who understood me
You, the luck up my sleeve
and if I ever decide to leave
you are the one whom gave me pause
I will feel the greatest sorrow when I leave you behind

It is moments like these,
laying on a rug listening to what I will be listening to
for months and mounths
and thinking about you

and not just that
for my mind is a monster
and when you saw
you accepted it

Sitting on a cold couch
talking of others doomed romance
was one of the best things you could give me
for I could finally be the true me

The shared looks that we give each other
when it makes people mad
Oh, those looks
those looks that I will never want to miss
never want to forget

And oh how I wish to hold your hand
oh how I wish to cradle you in my arms
but all I have is your eyes to cradle
and your words are all I can hold

you mean more to me than you could ever know
and those little stolen moments that we make ours

Yes, you were the one I could at last love
the one who finally accepted my mind
Yes, you are my love
and You, the luck up my sleeve
and if I ever decide to leave
you are the one whom gave me pause
I will feel the greatest sorrow when I leave you behind

Its moment like these
when the music fills my mind
when it flows through my head to my feet
and all I can feel is that place
when I want to stay the most

It is moments like these
when I listen to the analytical words of another
and sit by my friends side

Its moments like this
when I am tightly warped in an embrace
on the top of a mountain with a cross
feeling the true love of God for the first time

Its moments like these
when I miss you all so badly
that I can hardly breath
but I know I will see you again tomorrow

Its all of these moments
When I finally see my friends who have become family after a period of absence
When I can lay in a bed and rest when I truly feel weary
When I cry and I cry
because in the end, I know I will have to leave it all
My friends who are now my family
The tree that has now become familiar
The radio with its iconic voices
The lemonade with its iconic tastes
The music with its wonderful sounds
The park with its heart wrenching sunsets
The house with my friends as family rooms

Those things all give me pause
because in the end
leaving will happen
whether I want to go
or not

but I hope that you know
out of all of those things
out of all of those beautiful, tragic, wonderful, aw striking things
you are truly the ones who I will miss

I love you all,
I love you all more deeply than you could ever know

I have often found irony in it
When such silly people come to me
And ask me of love
They seek for the knowledge that I have not earned
Nor gotten through experience
And yet I can still provide
They call me a master of that trade
A trade that I have never traveled on
And that I never thought I would travel on

I have often found the irony of it
When I have all of the light in the world
Yet the moment I long to read it is gone
That as soon as I need something
It fleas and runs and hides from me

I have often found the irony of it
That when I am in the presence of someone
and name on there lips is never retired
And when they cannot bear to be away from them
And they know every
And every
And every
Little thing of them
They cannot tell this person how they feel
They cannot express to this name
All of the things that they wish to become
They cannot even speak to them

I have often found the irony of it
But now does it hit me with force
Where I used to be so knowledgeable
All of the information has left me
When I thought I could relay of just that
It is gone in my time of need
And now I can understand the people I once called
Silly and Ironic

For I am in love

Utterly and hopelessly in love
And I am utterly and hopelessly lost
And everything I once knew
Has disappeared

I cannot even fathom the thought of them
So much as go up and talk
Yet everyday I yearn
For some way to explain to them
For some way to make them understand
That every time they smile
I can feel my heart throbbing

But there is no way for me to explain
All of my excellence has faded
All of my brilliance has left
I am stuck with a heart throbbing
And a soul hurting

All I have is a face of irony
And a mind that has betrayed itself

Don’t speak to me about her
Don’t talk to me about love
Don’t ask me to help plan your advances
Don’t ignore her blatant rejection
Don’t keep pursuing her

The more you speak her name
The more I want to wash out your mouth
The more you draw her face
The more I want to curse your hands

She told you no
And yet you call out her name
She ignored your call
And you passed her notes

A true love recognizes rejection
And doesn't keep pushing it

A true love respects boundaries
And doesn't keep getting close

And yet you still come to me
Talking of how to ask her
When in reality
She hates you more than you could know

Wake up
She doesn't see you as even a friend
She sees you as someone who is obsessed
She sees you as someone who hugs her without permission
She sees you as someone who draws her without consent
She sees you as someone who won't stop asking
No matter how much she keeps rejecting

Wake up
She doesn't love you

Tis the life of one who has no life at all
only to show off their finery at the richest of *****

Only to brag of their wealth to all of the people they meet
Only to tour the estate with every person come to eat

only to waltz in town on a horse of every kind
only to say their work is the luckiest you find

only to talk of the vacation taken over the sea
only to boast of how their children have married higher in the hierarchy

tis the life of one who has no life at all
refusing the needy and the ones who call
whose ego is prouder and ever so tall
blinded by greatness that one day will fall.

It is queer
The way that eyes blink out from the walls
yet still whilst I water them so
there screams are the loudest calls

It is queer
the way that the water flows up
Even when the bed is dry and the fish flop into the valley beside thee pond
despite being filled with wine, I can catch them in my late evening cup

it is queer
That this poem shall reach you
For where I reside cannot possibly be described
for the dank dark feald is oh so dry, I don't know how anything grew

it is queer
the concept of time
for in this place one may notice things
things that used to be fine

why, one fact that I truly find to be queer
is the state of thyn mind whilest you sleep
everything is turned on its head
and everything has landed in a heap

Why is it said that in thyns dreams
Thee must always be happy and gay
that there will be nothing said of demons
that it shall consist of unicorns and fae

And truly I say, that a common man's opinion on dreams
opinions that weren't even written in your year
can be seen by many and not called queer
that now it is called a song of the heart
and that is something that thee should forever hold dear

I find my life to be a puzzle
And you often might to
And that's something that might make me
A little more like you
Puzzles cannot be the same
Or else they'd be no fun
And sometimes life may seem the same
Until the day is done
The puzzles in life are hard to solve
And I’m sorry to say
That, that’s the thing about life
It won’t get better on the way.