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Screaming baby on your end of the line
My static is your lullaby
The telephone is cradled against my chin
The cord is wrapped taut around my neck
I wait to rest my head against your phantom shoulder
Press my lips against the mouthpiece
Begging you to pull the trigger

Rocking myself to sleep slumped on the sticky linoleum floor,
The plug pulls off its socket with a pop
My vision grows dark
My song bellows through the air, it
Swallows the walls that keep us apart
Take me out
onto the roller rink,
where, under the neon disco ball, everything turns
pink and hazy

Make me out
to be your in-line princess,
your ribbon-bred baby

Spin me 'round and 'round
drivin' me crazy crazy crazy

Bring me to my knees
sorry, you whispered to me
"oopsie-daisy"

Drop me to the floor
my crustacean legs
fold crooked underneath me like a crab
i skip back onto the tips of my toes
i cover up quick like a lady

Still, I wait patiently for more
Still, spinning under these hazy neon lights
looking for someone new again,
looking for somewhere else to score.
I watched you turn young again
Lost in the supermarket
Searching for a place to be
Searching for my hand to hold

I watched my skin turn old and pale against the steering wheel
The way back home is long and
quiet and
all dirt road

Wise girl turned wiser
Wise girl turned free
Perhaps too gone to be my girl
Still, she returns to me
What did you want me to do with your empty casket after I clawed through the cold cemetery dirt in search of you?
A mad rabbit on its hind legs. I was a rabbit gone mad with inanity;

In the dark, I am massive; a crouched heap.

Twitch twitch twitch,
Shudder shudder shudder.

I scrape the weeds out from under my fingernails with my teeth.
Sweet chloroform tainted by a sick, chemical sheen.
The hole looms between my shadow and me. The hole sticks out from underneath.

Will you whisper to me while I weep?
Your words carried by sheets of sleet,
Bite the tip of my nose, caress the apples of my cheeks.
Cradle me in your barren arms, lull me to sleep.

Burrow burrow burrow,
Reap reap reap.
Intended to be recited in thick, deep, desperate, and guttural whispers.
Trees bleed crimson in protest
Before the wind drowns out their last, dying breath.
I walk through the barren orchard,
Marveling at their grand, glimmering display of defeat;
Their bodies torn apart by the sky's frosty breath.
I am but a lone red blade dancing out
stamping out
my frail stem.
A fiery ballerina on ecstasy.
I wrote this back around October while reading the story of a woman driven into vegetarianism and eventually madness by a dream. Still, I figured I should publish it here before the season ends, although it's already snowed a few times here in Wisconsin.
You are the diseased soil in which these doomed seeds were sown,

You are the poison tree from which these evil apples dropped,

And you are the acid rain that raises the earthworms from their
underground abodes
and eats

eats

eats away.
Today I turn 18.
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