you said you came twice but I
never felt you tighten around me.
I

wish you would look at me when it happened so I could see
what you looked like when
you peaked.
I couldn’t take my

eyes off your ribs as you
pushed each breath between
the bones.
You look happiest when you face away from me.

I’ve counted the pale hairs on your arms and I know

exactly what you look like the moment you fall asleep
but
you’ve pushed me into corners at parties
and
you hit me with a pan last week
and never apologized
and
when I tell you I miss you, you say
“How? We just spent 5 hours together.”

The first time I saw you
you were sitting in an empty bathtub,

a beer in one hand, and frat boys smoking joints around you

you said you’d never seen Star Wars
and you used to catch moths as a child.

You repeated my name twelve times that night
while I grabbed your hair
and your nails carved letters into the bark of my body.

Your face pressed my chest
and now it presses a pillow.

Your sighs sound exhausted,
not exalted.

I told you I loved you and
you said
“That word is used far too often.”

making do with what we had, we rolled dank ****

into receipts from the bar.
For once, I wasn't worried about getting

caught smoking in a bus shelter.
I fixated on the cheap shots of tequila
and this paper joint
and heckling overdressed blondes
on a Sunday night in

November.
**** "cuffing" -- latching onto a person for warmth and
intimacy as it rolls into December.
For now, I'll stand against this graffiti wall while those

closest to me take ****** iPhone pictures of me
covering my face.

For now, I'll walk up Bathurst
and discuss whether or not beards are a dealbreaker.

I'm picture-locking every look,
every turn
and sound

One day I hope one of my closest
calls and says:
"Remember that night when time stretched out?
Our three sets of footprints cemented a time when we were
in our bodies
and not in our heads."

We left our heads on Queen Street that Sunday.

My body is the paperweight of my soul.

I took
A
Hit.
From
Your
Chest,
It left me
Breathless
Inside my stress.
I was high for a good ten second's.
Shhh, quiet sènor, we will make amor
Stop asking so many questions.

Invest
I did
Into
Your
Kiss,
Invest
In
This,
Invest
Your kiss,
Interest
Invest
Into
Your
Mist.
Invest
In stress
I'm
Tired
Like the rest.