To conform is to hide
To stand is out is to be alive
We are judged by the eyes
of people of the wish to die

We are told to be fools
because we didnt get the highest gpa in school
we are told to be rude
when we are being honest to the cruel

We want to change
yet i see no action to explain
the sad reaction in society's reign
to be controlled and told to obey

The kids are told to look as pleased
yet we are being judged and teased
our weight isn't under 90 so we are obese
so we try to throw it up, over the toilet on our knees.

we are taught to be contained
our actions must be behaved
yet someone in the crowd must rage
to take a stand for us today

society is falling apart at the seams
and most of the problems effect us teens
and the struggle has yet to be seen
until you see all of the blood that we bleed

we are just children
and we are told we must make the right decision
if we don't then our life will be different
no house no car no life to live in

but we are teens
who have uncontrollable needs
we have unexpected mood swings
we don't understand most things  

but how would we know
how our life is going to go
when our parents do not show
the love we need to grow

we are just teens
most of us are unseen
so the blood that we bleed
should fix everything


right?

Love is just a word that has no meaning
It sneaks into your heart with plans of deceiving
It's used by evil, meant for good
Never to know if they ever could
Hope is just a word to heal the broken
To make them believe the doors are open
Help them forget about the scars and their hurt
But when they fall it only makes it worse
Happy is just a word that hides the pain
Just a smile to hide the rain
To make them think that you're okay
That you're strong enough to survive the day
Forever is just a word that makes us cry
That makes us think we'll never die
That loved ones will always be by our side
Thinking that we'll never have to say goodbye
Words are just things
That people never mean
Just giving us false hope
To make us believe
That everything will be okay
But yet there's always someone crying
At the end of the day

There are tears in my eyes
I'm looking toward the sky
Will I ever be up there
Soaring with pride?
There's an ache in my chest
My eyes I just cannot rest
How can I sleep peacefully
When your not near my nest
There's an urge in my mind
Myself I must find
Is today finally the day
When I soar through the sky
I pick up my wings
The wind starts to sing
I begin to rise
Air whistles beneath
I'm floating through the cloud
There's no way I'm coming down
I find you in my soul
On my face there is no longer a frown

I will never win
with you under skin
Creeping into my every thought
Even if I tired to hate you, I could not
You know me better than I do
Something I thought could never be true
Will you hurt me
Look me in the eye
Tell me these beautiful things
That will soon turn into lies
You hold the key
That unlocks me heart
But will you throw that key away
Tearing it apart
How do I know you're telling me the truth
I've been told so many lies
I don't think there's any proof
What will make you realize
I've been broken to many times
For you to come and fix me now

You're only remembered to be forgotten
Loved to be hated
Needed to be unwanted
Agreed to debated
He only want me so I could hurt
To stay is to leave me deserted
A cruel game he plays
Leaving me yearning for the words he'll never say
Never loving could keep me safe
But sadly you're the one I'll never replace
Always have your spot in my heart
No matter how many times your year it apart

I wish you were here
So I could pull you near
Hug me so tight
That I felt like I would die
I loved you to death
And I still do
And when you're gone I still think of you
When my heart aches
My eyes betray
Memories of you escape
And roll down my face
Your missing in my world
But you'll never be replaced

I was your second best
But nonetheless
I tried so hard
To win your heart
It's all fun and games
Until someone gets blamed
For a heart they didn't break
From all the ugly words you say
Now I'm torn apart
From heart to soul
Your feeling for me are so small
And mine were just too old
My love was so strong
But only I was not
I loved you for so long
I suppose you forgot
Maybe you knew
That everything you would do would rip me to shreds
And now our love is dead

The ache in my chest
Tears in my eyes
All my joy is durresed
Why is it a suprise?
You didn't try
You didn't fight
Your the reason I cry
All through the night
Why is it a suprise?
Blood on my wrists
Heaviness on my soul
My story you put in a twist
I'm losing my self control
Why is it a suprise?
Rope on my neck
Tears on my face
Now you want me back
Wasn't I your disgrace
Why is it a suprise?
Now there's an ache in your chest
There's tears in your eyes
I was trying my best
I was your blessing in disguise
But why are you suprised?

You held my hand
But know your letting go
You took your final stand
Now it's the end of the show
Your final breath
Spoke my name
But you didn't say the rest
And things will never be the same
Without you here
It feels so strange
Not able to pull you near
As you take me in an embrace
You died a fighter
And I'll always be proud
But even in my nightmares
It's you who I see in the crowd

The words you have said,
The things you have done,
Have all burned to ashes,
I hope you've had your fun.
The hearts you have broken
The tears that have fallen
I wish were to be left alone
But they're all but forgotten
The knives in my heart
The blood on my wrists
Has written my apology
But I know I won't be missed
The love I felt
The joy in my heart
Has all been mistaken
For something that tore me apart

How did I not know
That you were letting me go
Piece by piece
Tearing at my soul
When you pushed
I pulled
But that was my mistake
Because by you I was fooled
And there's nothing left to say
It's not worth the tears
When the laughter is free
By you I feel ******
For all of eternity

Beat one beat two
My eyes look into you
Beat three beat four
Your walking out the door
Beat five beat six
The blood leaks out of my skin
Beat seven beat eight
Oh no it's too late
The beat of your heart matching mine
Has turned into a flat line

I wish I didn't feel
I wish I didn't think
My intelligence is a curse
My heart begins to sink

I wish I couldn't love
I wish my heart was cold
My words are locked up
A story that's untold

I wish I didnt care
I wish I didn't scream
My nights are filled with terror
A misery filling my dreams

I still love
I Still feel
I still think but I wish it was real

I still care
I still scream
My heart is still warm
I so badly want to be unseen
My tears only wash away
So much to hide the pain

I keep it in so you don't see
The storm that's inside of me

In my dreams
I wait for happiness to approach
For someone to save me from this dismal corner of my mind
Where the sun is cold and the years scorch my face
The scarce amount of peace in my bones
Leaks through my skin
Leaving me as nothing
No matter how far I stumble
I can't seem to fall away
From his clammy grasp
A war that I will never win
The trees grow taller as much as my timid personality
Towers over my dead-and-gone self confidence
Someone please save me from this inundating despair
Even in my nomadic mind
I still revolve around a deep melancholy
Not even all the therapists in the world could catch me
My dream is a reflection
      Of the storm in my eyes

Dark and hollow, shadowed with fear
Words and visions won't seize to appear
Eyes that don't sparkle, are now filled with tears
My heart of sorrow, with pain, so severe
No matter who tries, it will not heal

Inside I die, with daggers and knives
Leaving me cold, in the darkest of nights
Depression and woe what a terrible sight
Is this what you wanted, your sweet delight?
Will you have sweet dreams while you slumber tonight?
Now you're gone with no goodbye
My hopes should have never been so high
Thinking you might actually change my life
Stop the tear flowing from my eyes
Maybe you'll be happy with my sweet demise

No more hide and go seek with my love
Because ready or not here I come
From all your abuse I will rise above
Being peaceful and free a beautiful dove
No matter what, I will not be able to get rid of
Is this what you desire, an immortal dove?

1 cut 2 cuts 3 cuts...4
What's 10 other, since I'm a little *****
5 cuts, 6 cuts, 7 cuts...8
My only friend is a ruthless blade
9 cuts, 10 cuts, 11 cuts...12
I'm stuck in this depression where I dwell
Let's keep going?.... What the hell
Let's just skip to 75,76,77,78
Were all dying anyways.
So I might might as well get it over with
I guess I'll just start at the wrists
Next the legs , then the neck  
Get a rope and jump off the deck
Pop some pills and go to sleep
Since I haven't been able to in weeks
I hope in the morning my mom won't cry
Over my lovely suicide.

My heart is broken
My scars are open
I heard this line
A thousand times
You think you know me
But yet you don't
Love is cruel
And so is hope
Your hate has left me drained
I don't want to be broken
But my feelings cant be contained
These words need to be spoken
My soul feels empty
But you have to empathy
The sparkle in your eyes
Has slowly died
The warmth in your heart
Is what made you so kind
Now you say we must depart
But love is so hard to find
I know tears are weakness
But I can't hold them back
Because of your rude bleakness
I'm stuck in the past
I love you but my feelings aren't worthy
I need you with me now
But since your feelings were an act cause you pity me
Let's take our final bow

Why do you hurt yourself so
But reject help when people see
I hate seeing you filled with the poison of woe
Living off of depression and greif
The sweetest berry
Turns into a vile repulsive treat
A dream granted by a fairy
Something you'll never get to see
The night with out the moon
The day with out the clouds
A mind with no soul
A voice with no sound
Your eyes in the night
Shined like the sun in the day
But the rays are gone
150 miles away
Why, my flightless bird
Do you want to cause me pain
Do you even care if I hurt
Sit and cry in the rain
Do you feel empathy
A morsel of guilt
Doesn't it make you feel empty
Flightless bird

The darkest hour of every night
When the evening star does shine
The moon, the sun, colliding
My mind, your touch, our hearts
Brighter than the brightest sun
Warmer than the hottest desert
Buy why are we here
In this horrid place
Where the sky's never see the day
The stars never see night
Yelling and screaming does us no use
Our violent screams and beligerent abuse
Healings in our time
Or what we have left
So let's not waste it
Pretending to be friends
The brightest hour of every morning
When thoughts of you creep in my mind
I smile but then cry, because you're no longer mine
But this heart is what is ours.

Love makes berries taste sweeter
Makes the sun look brighter
Makes the blood feels warmer
While it's coursing through your body
Love makes your mind different
Every thought you ever had
Changes in perspective
Jealousy  grows in your heart
While insecurity blossoms in your soul
Love makes you go crazy
Makes your whole world turn upside down
Makes your head and heart ache
To be honest
I hate love
Because love hates me

When the tears are the hilight of your day
And the blade in your hand is your only friend.
The blood dripping off your arm is your ink
And the skin is your paper
You truly know then
You are not living
Even if your heart is beating
Ur only breathing

Decades have passed
And I'm still in the same place
It feels like centuries
Since you left without a trace
Time is to precious
To be put to waste
But I'm wasting away
In the past
Because no one will save
Myself from This despair
I guess no one really cares

At night I can't  rest
Because I have no place to put my head
I toss and turn all night
Replaying all of our fights
I look at the dresser that was yours
As I imagine us screaming and yelling and slamming the doors.
Broken glass and tears
Drowning me in fears
Bruises and broken hearts
You said we'd never be apart
So this is were we end
I guess this is goodbye old friend

As I grey into vibrant colors
The world around me crumbles
Piece by piece you devour my soul
And seal me with demons of my past

The paleness of my skin shows that I surrender
My blood drawn to write my apology
Blade, my pen

All the nights of screaming
All the nights of dreaming
All the days of being terrified of you
Are supposed to be over

You haunt me in my dreams
Shadowing me in my reality
The terror playing back in my eyes
Every
Single
Day

Hello and goodbye
Heart breaks from sad lulubyes
The fire dying in your eyes
The disappointment of no surprises
The bitter-sweet kiss of no return
The futile mission of a love that burns
The whole in my chest that yearns
For you to love ne more than her

If love is in the air,
I must not be breathing,
If love is in the eye of the beholder,
No one is looking at me,
If all is fair in love and war,
I have no battle to lose,
If there's a brighter tomorrow with everyday,
I am stuck in the past,
If the spark is gone,
I've never been there,
If it's love,
I'm not in it.

Remember all the hours we spent on the phone?
Remember all the moments we cherished when we were alone?
Remember the night I said I love you?
Remember the night you said "I won't give up on you."?
All those memories are burned to dust.
Gone blown away like the leaves in august.
I remember all our memories.
All the memories of us happily
Don't you remember?

A deep cut or a shallow one
What's the difference?
Crying or bleeding
What's the difference?
Living or dying
What's the difference?
With or without you?
What's the difference?

The way we walk
The way we talk
How we look
The way we took
The love we thought we deserved
But now I'm slighty disturbed
Of how expectations detain our imagination
With no further statement
Of debate or suspicion
That our lives aren't to be demolished
They are to be lived the way we want them
Not the way their expected

When I look in the mirror
I see a nightmare
Looking back at me
Dark circles under my eyes
Deepening everyday
Skin getting paler
Never seeing the light of day
When I look in my eyes
I see no fire
Burning anymore
I see a ghost
Of my dreams
Looking back at me
When I look at my wrists
I see scars of my past
Opening up again
I see the blood from my veins
Looking back at me
When I look in the mirror
I see my worst nightmare
Becoming a reality

The slightest smile
The quitest laugh
The shortest kiss
The dimmest light
That touches your eyes
The small moment of happiness
That fills your heart
Savor it while it lasts
Because it might never happen again.

Guys with money and fancy cars dont impress me
Guys with open hearts do
Love is within the eye of the beholder
Not the page of a magizne
Love is in your heart and soul
Not the Wallet of your "half of the whole"
Love is the one who can hold you at night
Love is the one who can put up the fight

Ticking away
Awaiting to explode
In the middle of my heart
Silent on the outside
But shrieking in my soul
Cutting connections
Breaking skin
Breaking bone
Breaking hearts
A clean break
To save
The tears and sobs
Inside of us
Im a ticking time bomb
That you cant defuse

He is the shadow I hide from
He is the darkness in my eyes
He the knife in my heart
He is the tears in my eyes
He is the voice is my nightmares
He is the mocking tune of this twisted melody
He is the reason I'm scared
To be loved by anybody

A kiss...a hug
A life…a love
Time Spent
Friends left
Diamonds may be big.
Diamonds may be small
Diamonds can forget
The time the love
It all
Some things may last
Some things go by fast
Diamonds arent forever
So enjoy them while it lasts