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310 · Feb 2021
street smarting
smoke rings
and bells do as well
and the lamb man's
got all the fleece
we are all gold in an egg-shaped sort of way
way on down the street

the good girl needs a bell
nevermind the ring
i ring my bells for that good girl's favor
ring your bell for the good girl's favor
the lamb man keeps his peace

Underhill
understanding
bells
toll now instead of ring
underhand and under thumb
under-way the lambs run
up and down the street

the wind blows through the leaves
leaving traces of where it's been
it's been down collecting lambs again
dew-run
up and down
the street

wash your wool
for the lamb man's leaving
wash your hands
he's gone
wash your hair
for the lillies blooming
blooming all along
all along
the street
if love were fish and the bones of them
love's memory would swim through multi-colored cascading  
cathedral fountains
floating by
suspended
with lighted bell shaped alure
and small lips good for kissing

love's memory would swim through
tiny myopic refractions
of shattered life
broken by shafts of
twinkling light that has
no set source
185 · Feb 2021
agape fishing
long conversation with my brothers
in the midst of my late-middle years
i still discover them
we
us and
each other
and my original motive
for loving

leaves me smiling
to myself
full of that
which neither needs nor harbours
any motive
181 · Apr 2021
friendless fire
Reluctant waver
Lucky you
Thank your stars
Mirrors do what they do

Tour bailer
This is for you
Stole my ride
And my drink to boot

Calvary captain
Mean what you say
Why'd you Leave the recruits
To fight their own way?

It ain't a big deal
We made our way through
Not all of us though
So what do we do?

Hang up and run?
Ditch and demand?
Bail while we're in it?
Keep your head in
The sand.

nap in the dirt
blood on your hands
and under your nails
nailed to the end

nailed to the floor
bleeding
you knew
acting as if
what you said was the truth

forget it while smiling
my name
it is a place
but hold on to it for just this sort of case:
you remember the rain
In a house quite abandoned
A lifetime of pain is a hard rock to stand on
The broken out windows
and dwindling flame

sputters alight
with new resolve
bust in my new boots
earlier today on you
aim then fire
and revolve
Get on through
i am beginning to dislike rhyme
i believe I'll quit it
175 · Apr 2021
reckon i will
i am in love with sadness
i am in love with your sadness
i recognize and know it
it is not dissimilar to my
own sorrow

i
while quietly sobbing
perform drunken newly learned alchemical rituals
in a desperate attempt to
set aright
madlove gone off the rails
with half-spells and muttered incantations

knowing the aura of
impending heartache
i stifle a sob into a
long one note high pitched
quiet wail
i am doomed

ill equipped to cast
my lot
ill advised to continue
i closed my leaking eyes
and held my arms up
in supplication
to a god i neither
believe in
nor believe would hear
if i believed

i remember the hour of my undoing
i remember the sadness
i feel today
from then
a touchstone to your sadness
the only stone I have

i would tie it to my
neck
and jump into deep water
were i to think it would
hold me to the bottom

though no hero
nor courage do i know
in your sadness i found
a simple purpose
a certain failure
sadness my own

i remember your shy smile
and your hands
157 · Dec 2020
dark matter
like the devil in our memory
on dust and solar winds of unfortune
on the waves of no tide
heavier than the lead in your bloodstream
slowly leaching all good from you as you grow old

spinning and weaving into selfishness
and crushing apathy with narrowing intent
from all to us to we to me
it spreads us all slowly getting colder

wrecking all creation from single cell to great
libraries
from empathy to eternal death alone in the cold
bury yourself
here comes death
and no one to blame
but yourself

no light
nothing matters

nature's cold last words
are muffled by her quiet chuckle
knowing there is only more isolation
we are all quite alone and drifting
150 · Jan 2020
my last smoke
when all of my sacred seemed heresy
nightime came out in his boots

hyenas and jackals
and wolves and curs
laughing and yapping and howling
their din
the sole noise in that darkness
save the blood singing inside of my ears

those canine predators lope easy, in endless pursuit of my courage
which has flagged after waning these years

i fight the urge to lay down
shake my head
turn around
and walk on bones
worm eaten by years

into the caress of this moonless oblivion
knowing that i am more hungry for bravery

after a turn without stumbling
though i cannot see
i return to this place
turning back
a thin man in a dream

smoke rising as i lay down
a signal sent to no one
some mensa smart
Ms. Jones
you always seem
to land the same part
acting

play the mystery woman
that nobody's ever known
what is the time now praytell
in your locally tragic circus?

bullseye
you're hard to hit
while you are moving  
around and alone at night

carnival grounds flood with roosters
crowing and announcing first light

spinning target girl
eyes shut you cry while still hoping
that I don't miss with the knives
131 · Feb 2021
craven
just getting around
from going downtown
which is like saying
something under my breath
about sticks

i cook every night
and check in with the ladies (all houseplants and wallflowers)
touch is spaghetti
and hugs and pockets full of guitar
picks

raspy whisper a slim chance
singing
beat it or carry the tune
do the dishes that are in the sink
all of this
now I'm sick

take the keys
take the reigns
get some ****
take the blame
do whatever it is you think
of next
for your next trick

tricky is as tricky does
but it only works this once
once around is good enough
good enough
to kick
around
But tough

around here
i sleep when i can't stay awake
i eat when i am hungry
I love because
I was made in the image of
118 · Dec 2021
special (my muse)
note to self:
The mighty says that she doesn't name a poem before it's written or maybe not at all

so I try not to
I try to write her with no name

words speak and write themselves
faster than the slowness
of my naming

good god, i falter
fly south for the summer
ring my neck
shake a wing
flying further north
because it's winter

so i try not to
because she speaks
fluid now and real
and in her ocean there is
no name
worthy of not forgetting

a gift to me for sure
a wordless azimuth
to describe
a pearl and its own life's making
and I am impressed

pretenseless
some remainder pure
and laughing still at broken
who shakes me awake when I wrong down the words

and try to name them

yet in the night's dark farmer's market where
flickers are rare and cost
what's real

I lay down the word that speaks to saying
and guides what's said and still saying home

and she is special
special now

when now is long and slower
and meanings mean themselves
where moments are rooms with echoes and time stands quiet; nearly still

when memory is no longer
so
and I not so full; myself
I'll forget the grass is green then
maybe I'll lighten up

remembering the road i wrote
the author of one dream
where words were meant to say themselves

a fairly special thing
never ever wrote a good depiction
117 · Apr 2021
first thought
bats and birds
neither got off the ground i guess
106 · Jan 2020
the measure
blithely turning toward a closer ground she measured her body in the mirror's reflection for the inside capacity (adequate at any), of the ornate casket she had ordered to have intricately carved and lavishly inlaid.
she was in a fantastic space for a good-natured case of the ****-its. 
Dani was dying.
she was small in stature and large in awkward.
jotting the numbers down,
her eyes - just a bit of dust 
smiling through and reaching for 
the coin she tossed 
-her way out the door.
     god how she mystifies me.
in awe, slack-jawed and my face hurts from laughing with her.
it's like a hundred million tiny yellow butterflies were released at penelope's wedding to a sky of falling ashes from a small grass fire next county over. 
     that's what i feel like when she laughs. i am going to miss her when she goes-
i can't really wrap myself around a comprehensive strategy for creating a space within myself that will be without her. 
i have lost interest in trifling 
i spend my time at a job that's just a good reason to walk that far. 
     i come home with fresh fish and flowers and a couple of album finds from "the pig and the gator" record store.  
guy clarke, Willie's 
"redheaded stranger", and an early Romones e.p.
     Dani loved, i mean loves records. so do i. ****. loved. that sort of tears me up that i wrote that. 
     anyhow, we crack beers and eat fish and listen and talk and laugh and spend the rest of most nights trying to find my disappeared dog Luke Sidewalker. i miss him so incredibly deeply that my gut hurts so as to nearly stop me from breathing.
     i feel that i am so many people when i am with her.
     that's the mystic. she sort of leads me to where i am most comfortable in her presence. she showed me where.
that you could be in pieces and not get nervous about it. 
     i can't imagine tomorrow. and i can no longer remember yesterday,
but as the ******* ghost of this day;
i hold no real promise. 
this is it. 
     here she is; opening the door as she thumb flips her coin with something near to indifference. bloww.
she puts a smile on me like she's swinging a haymaker. 
"tails", she whispers. she is looking at me as if there is something worth looking at. 
she hands her coin to me.
tails. 
butterflies and ashes.
when someone you know becomes someone you knew.
104 · Aug 2022
d-rama dharma sutra
it's work simply being
it's something sad as well
no one but myself to blame
The fates are not this cruel

when times get rough
i become more hungry
But now it's time to go underground
when i truly would be casting blessings
bring some when i come back around
103 · Jan 2020
second son of autumn
i am Spring
i am the second son of autumn
a representative of pollen and dawn
I am old friends with the longest day of summer
I have known the icy night of winter
since before he grew
into his dark and starstrewn coat
I am spring
I speak the language of bees and everything blooming
all things that are living will quiver
with desire and promise
today i am keeping that promise
sap from the root to the tree  
sap from the tree to the leaves  
invitation from the leaves to the sun
to the sun

once i get everything rolling
the earth gets a little more juicy
94 · Apr 2021
ship going downstairs
You've ruined the moon
And the trees that I see it through
They are burnt and charred
As am I

They were on fire
which burned down
the home next to them

The basement is where
The heirloom mirrordumb
Ashcan wish-dope
Memory shift
Traumatrigger
Sunday school
Was located

I am sifting through the ashes in the basement
They are not my ashes
I am obligated
To a friend's loss
Elephant deja vu

You've ruined the moon
With long distance wishes
And lipstick smeared napkins
Plus haiku
And your hair on my sweater from a long forgotten night
when we held one another
For comfort and warmth and believing in
the moon

The moon is the same
the planet is ruined
i became sadness
And sadness
Becomes me
While I wait for death
And another chance
To hold your beautiful heart

Not the same reasons
The moon is the same
The reason
Carries us
Across together

If you see the moon
Please ask her
If we could make it up to her
One day somehow

Maybe just knowing that we both look at her
Maybe just knowing

I've lost my heart and
My moon is  ruined
My way is set
My resolve milky
The light of a perfect
Moon

The moon is meaningless
Without you
Gumballs and taffy
Bread on a pb&j
That stayed out
All night last
With stoic pilgrims  
And the last strains
Of kinda blue

From the moment we knew
And our eyes made
The day
I have had my will lashed
To the mast

where are you?
where are you?
80 · Feb 2021
gew-gaw
Pick it up,
Set it down.
It was working fine yesterday,
But today it won't make the right sounds.

Pick it up,
Set it down.
Sometimes it's receiving information,
Sometimes it's just loud.

Pick it up,
Set it down.
Sometimes there is nothing
Better,
Sometimes I don't want it around.

Pick it up
79 · Mar 2020
Snakecharmer
If you are really in love
With me now
You are so incredibly important

I won't enter the contest
But i may crawl
across the floor

only because i want to save you with dancing
79 · Jan 2020
on the ground
heart is heavy
a trainload of lead
better get an adjustment
listen a little
get out of my head.

my love is in lock-up
gotta spring her today
do what i must do
do what it takes

walk through what is before me
with great gratitude
lessen the gravity
these are my shoes
75 · Jan 2020
loci (Gladys &The Mighty)
Curious with night things,
Manuel and his dog dug up the returned.
Their eased mind's local was already watered. 
Gladys and the mighty
came awake for the recognitions.
The returned gave praises to Manuel and his curiosity.
They ate breakfast for dinner together. 
Soul as food.
Break your bread.
Break your back.
Set your table. 
Lickety split was.
Manuel and his dog are.
Gladys and the mighty is:
allow always...loci.
68 · Feb 2020
christmas in seoul
sleepy, feverish
smiling nonetheless
she lay me down
with almost loving concern
i offer money
feigned anger with humor in a look
leaving again to get groceries
possibly turn a trick
this florence nightingale Christmas ******
stays and nurses me for a week
i remember meeting her
in a bar in Seoul
we liked the same jazz
not a word of each other's slipped away unoticed
nor understood
she was authentic and made of beauty
light played around her
we never tried to-ruin it
she was leaving i could sense it
i put a thousand in her purse while she fixed her tear stained eyes
i couldn't fix mine
68 · Mar 2019
Last Week
stuff spread all over
moving from one abandoned
house
to another
****
phone broke
homeless joke
it ain't so funny
stuck
can't get out of here
trust no one
ever-fear
night wary light little
some kind of maze
**** riddle
i don't have the answer to
got to get
before it gets you
i got to go real soon
new hat same shoes
this is dust
it'll **** you
wake up
on the morning news
hide your things
or take them with
else you ain't gonna have ****
broken will
broken dog.
sleeping in this hollow log
now to drink mud
sick two days and still gotta move
another place i can't stay long
don't look now
here comes the law
give me ****
wish me luck
thinking I'm a *** *******
******
got what i had coming
can i put up an argument
would it be worth the time or breath
hell hill
third world frills
cops chasing the elusive
kids
kick grandma's door in shoot to ****
shoulda left the gun
grabbed the till
19 now a ****** rap what the hell am i to
do with that
all these things i see
leave me choked
without speech
stressing on the basics now
all day long
bow me down
Yup
67 · Feb 2021
like a thin lip
Chimeric and illusory
My vision a child
Eyes full of wonder
Hope is like light
In the dark of possibility

Begging from fates
Befriended by muses
Lips gone cold early
Strangers sleep in my bed

Seeing behind
Is a trick and no magic
Belief is a construct
Alone in our minds

Demons rage and rotate
From pole to pole to pole
Further destroying the field
Laying me bare to the sun

Where all of my doubts
Become memory's bad dreams
And morning reveals that I'm usually still
Quiet
Alone
65 · Jan 2020
him and her
him is at the end of the sentence
him knows at the end of this day
whatever the verdict
now it
never mattered
him's debt is undoubtedly paid

her left out the parts with her name on them
him knew what was his just the same
none of that mattered
not where it landed
at least that's what she said she said she said
catching the blame
while watching the flames
63 · Apr 24
Last Week
stuff spread all over
moving from one abandoned
house
to another
Seems I'm ******
spoken truth
phone broke
homeless joke
it ain't so funny
When I'm stuck stuck
pull my own tooth

can't get out of here
trust no one
ever-fear
night wary light little
some kind of maze
**** riddle
i don't have the answer to

got to get
before it gets you
i got to go real soon
new hat same old boots
this is just a bunch of dust
it'll **** you

wake up
on the morning news
hide your things
or take them with
else you ain't gonna have ****
broken will
broken dog.
sleeping in this hollow log
now to drink mud

sick two days and still gotta move
another place i can't stay long
don't look now
here comes the law
give me ****
wish me luck
thinking I'm a *** *******
******
got what i had coming
can i put up an argument
would it be worth the time or breath
doubt me
catch your own death
catch your own breath

hell hill
third world frills
cops chasing the elusive
kids
kick grandma's door in shoot to ****
shoulda left the pistol
grabbed the till
19 now a ****** rap what the hell am i to
do with that

all these things that i see
leave me choked
without speech
stressing on the basics now
all day long
bow me down
Yup
62 · Feb 2021
zipperdragon
Making the best of a rotten situation
When the going gets hot
Don't go away I'm on fire
Self immolation drills
Paying off in spades and thrills
I Like walking with you
Seems you're a real bad mime

Fill the earth
Full of filth
Fill bags and boxes
Full of death
New world burning
light up the sky
Push it on back
Demolish
Destroy

When's it end?
Never so far
Forever free or imprisoned in
Black space and stars
Returning forever
Remember the wheel
And this house full of monkeys

Where
The forgetting
Is a lie
And escape is laughable
Stuck here and out of gas
Like a dead-letter postcard to ourselves
Dated and sent from some parlour-trick fantasy future
Where the switch-up is almost like dying

Do your best to remember
This day
When the new morning calls
It's the one thing we can do for Ourselves
One another
For us all
62 · Jan 2020
don't not have some
horse flagging hard in these hard boundry lands
holding trace leather; with these gnarled bad hands
spirit nearly broken from this seemingly endless long ride

seeking shade from the sun
but the shade from my saddle can't hide:

the hole in my ribcage
or the lines in my face
no tell (**** I'm weary), sit saddle, betraying no trace
of the years i have gathered
or the miles-

i have ridden alone
gone hungry
been cold
this ain't the first time
i've ridden...
but this time I'll die,

as well will my brothers
don't it hurt to discover
that it always all comes to an end?
and there ain't no one  reason
to lie to myself,
to lie to myself
or pretend

no, there isn't one reason
to lie by myself
or pretend
that there ain't no more reasons
61 · Jun 2020
Basalt
Wanted to be wanted
Wanted as i wanted to be wanted by you
Who could ever match my need?
Who?

Angry
In need of conversation
Angry
In need of understanding
Suspicious
In need of the truth

Who could match
My need for that?
Who?
Definitely not me
Definitely not

Angry for running
You away
Then killing you
With need
I'm jealous of my friends
That don't care
Sleep around
just sleep

That is not me anymore
This time down

Blue as basalt
As i lay on the ground
River running over me
Volcanic earth frozen

I hope i drown
soon
61 · May 2020
For a Friend
I want to scream
I can't get away
Plenty of pleasure
here's
The take take away

I want to do
The things that I have to say

Rolling around alone
Didn't get much done

Today

Bringing it home

It used to be a
Friend of mine

Believe in me
Because I
Asked

Friend to me
60 · Feb 2021
ride-along
Crackers
said formica jimmy.
K-tap drives.
Yoppa-g and the new magician
Take their act to the streets.
Practice.

Boofer dan drives
Wheezer to get
Yog and young Boat,
His two younger brothers
Wheezer looks
As if he'd always known
The middle names
By the ocean
South of Santa Cruz
Lighted approximation
Some 80's live summer tour
Dancing hippies in the dark
Parking lot

Wheel ocean and breezes  
the moon up
Real and easy
For the first time
Since my troubled
But miraculous arrival
Pretend it's just for me

Quite-undone-indeed
With chocolate thoughts
As Spicy peanuts
Takes up with that cool kitten
***** blueberry lime-ade
There's enough to get us through the rest of our days

See them get Along smiling
Talking nodding
The road ahead always steering them toward
Each other's always
Due to the belief of everyone
And in that
always

Hiccup in the willow
Breathe sweet fragrance
Laying yoppa g down
And wheezer
Eyes half closed
Cheek to the cold
And comfortable
Hands down and holding

Isotopic stasis binder
Always in solution
Traveling the trade routes
Casting out their demons
Working the miracle
Alchemists of  singular expressions of always

It is not going away
It is always
Yoppa g speaks it written
While the three of them
Think it known and agree
Only the solution works
As in a vehicle of faith
An engine of creation
59 · Feb 2021
if i could skip over
get yer *** up
make a decision
i guess
*** is retribution
hey, new waitress queen
now you are famous

lack of integrity is:
not a solution to
problem inner child running
from the shoes
You use
to run in
hmm?
boogersun and jMike where they are wanted and welcome and with you is difficult for me with all of these people I think. I'm gonna try for your heart. Where wee bit more jackets of many colors are modestly sized for business.
Lone duck is one flight for flighty figh for free...draw the kids back up here where they were and... Destiny.
Andyl karl loge is destiny
whomever he's supposed to be.
I'm gonna get out from here to where
they are wanted
and welcome, you see?
See seems to be a friend of it all
Galaxy nexus and fairy tales tall
to come galore from the heliocentric nevertheless;
yes the most high...school of thunk think love in the sink sunk.
drivel
56 · Feb 2021
second skinning
awake in my skin
all night again
sleep is paralysis
memory is a throw-away
in a self hate crime
never return
just quit and die

money shots for skin
drawing lots again
keep me in the loop
forgetting is a keepsake
in a stranger's house being robbed
go to sleep
return
never quit and die

false god
false prophets
idols from the street
ears full of lies
betrayal and deceit
history is yesterday's weather forecast
knowing we make the weather, man
off of your knees
learn
quit your mind and die

rights aren't real
without slaves
death is the only guest
worth waiting for
forward now reclining
wiggle in the sunlight's heat
she slips out of her molt
wearing the mask of her quarry
and her second skin
56 · Mar 2020
i'll swing instead
'owling winds from HER past
scrape my esteem
from the flesh of my am

with the truth as a weapon
she rides over me with shame
as a war-pony

from the king of nothing
to the fool of fantasy
the card of
my am
not with 'er

sheer ill intent
damage so deep
to breathe
is a crime
for my am

no safe passage
trickery and slippery
wet moss on the rocks
I'll swing
instead
like no *****

so childlike
i hurt
my am
safety is going
to be a climb
out
i am
battle scarred shocked and weary
after a solid month of them
non-stop noise the cannon carry
cannon carry them
carry until the trenches fill
with brother's blood soak the hill
with death dis-ease and disentery

the hero's task at length is laid
yet insanity instantly draws his pay
in far off looks and broken gaze
it be death alone
death alone that saves
legion eyes focused far away
as millions board the ferry

infinite naivete;
its innocence
the ancient bloodsnake craves
blind as it ingurgitates
its own dark hind yet hesitates
in fleeting dawning awareness bites
infinite in rav'nous appetite
sating only lust and what remains
hell's own night joy's light's bane

for apathy and avarice
it's deception's pillow and its grace
deaths own mask; its hidden face mercurial and at once chimeric
camouflage concealing its concealment a passive weapon
chameleon quite as colorful
and as so quite as perfect

a last murderous salvo comes
dawn a fiery hour too early by one
in it's childishly entitled insistance
as we slough off our own skins
and eat kippers with them
from dented tins
our elegiac last breakfasts

and alas again forgetting everything
of nothing's own self-importance
we burn and die in last morning's light
as the band of gathered idiots bind
a consensual last query to send into the vast distance

we would give in to this abhorrence without resistance?
56 · Mar 2020
move
shift
crokus outlook
standing firm
just like
i always do
when i catch a glimpse
of your thigh
through
your bright sun
54 · Jun 2020
Canines and alphabets
Billowing in yearn
Mastermind
Mountain cur
I couldn't get out
Today

Try as i might
Canines and alphabets
It's surely time
For a bath
And an easy way out
My my

Forget me if you want
But if it's alright
Let me tell you up front
I remember what
brings you light
Light
#light
54 · Jan 2020
same as mudpies
now is not the time for tears
bind whatever is broken
prop yourself up
your confidence seems to be flagging
a death sentence for straw dogs and hollowmen
such as we
it's over but it won't go away.
53 · Jun 2020
I lied
Want a drink
a couple of smokes
a girl
I quit all three
Two by choosing to
I think
I will do myself a favor
Give girls another whirl

Like a tiger by the tail
Like a ride
Over the moon
Like nothing ever matters
Mmmm
Yeah, that's her

Make me crazy with her need
For loving
Make smile every time
Make my whole day better
All way
We're all the way

I lied
53 · May 2020
Simply
I'd sure like to get in there

I'd never need out

Never need out again


Blood on my hands

Except the floor 

The couch

The bed


Blood on my hands

This ain't the first

Time I've been 

Let down


It's your blood

Running

Out of me


Forget, forget

Running out of me


Blood on your hands

Way down

The way

It used to be


Blood on your hands

Simplify

Harder to recognize

Simply


Because we've blood on

Our hands


Scared to recognize

Butterflies

Inside the 

Way it used to be


Moving my hands

Hard to fly


****** my hands

Simple

Sacrifice


Blood where my hands were once

Simple
stagger and fall
scraping your bones
knowing it is all due to
having been exposed
to your own poisonous venom
For which there is no known antidote
52 · Jan 2020
sad prophecy
mad and tiny toed
she came to share my asylum sleeping place
a wonder in the moonlight's dust-ride
a wrangler of the dreaming

winterworn and coatless,
i slept soundless,
wept tearless,
woke restless;
for the hinges of time's doorways creaked non-stop with our leaving
51 · May 2020
I hate cats
And sympathy
I don't hate
Or have a habit
That goes through
That

Anyone's anything
Anyway

2
4 c
If u
Even ever
Get
Around

To me
If'n u can ever
Get around

You can come over
Get all overwhelmed
Get all over me
51 · Jun 2020
Everyone here knows you
Everyone here knows you
We all hope you're well
They all want to know you better
Understand it's understood
Put the past to rest in hell
Because i only tell them
Good

About me i tell the truth
They see me and
Let me shine
Encourage me to
Epic things
Again

They hear what i say
And shake their heads
Wondering
Why would I hang on
I say it won't be long now
It's been a long day
But now it is gone

Hoping is a weak way
Of figuring out
how to
Speak out of my mouth
Action is louder
You know what they say
About words anyway

Drastic means were
Needed
To stop the
bleeding
We were likely to die
Right where we are

Maybe we did
But I'm in my neighborhood
That's blessing
Beyond measure
It feels good

But i still
Think we were great
You did a good thing
It wasn't too late
51 · Jan 2020
gum stuck in my hair
i made a small fire with all
of the paper messages
that you ever left for me:
tiny flame flickering-smells like lipstick and cigarettes and hollow words.

everything you wrote to me makes up my list in its entirety:
the most recent things
that I am going to forget.
50 · Mar 2020
your man
your man
courts you in silence
because his words don't fit in your wallet.

your man
courts you in the future
because his now doesn't strike your now's fancy anvil with it's patina of past

your man
courts you while walking in sin
because to the icy gospel truth: real,
he is a lie

your man
courts you
nevertheless.

your man
courts you because he loves you
not as an object,
but as the subject matter of the story
that has been written in his heart
50 · Jan 2020
far side of the hill
sweating and breathing hard
from a walk up the hill
running down leaks in the line
the pressure is up
where it's supposed to be
i better get water this time

three days without
with the heat
as it is
news travels slow on this side
but i know what i need
to finish the job
and squeeze out without notice
in the dark on the quiet
high tide
Took until today
Finally
Broke the machine down
Vitriolic wasteland
Infrastructure be ******

I'm going on up again
Against my better judgement
Again I silently decide
No one else will
Do it
I'm going back up
It's got to be done

There's alot of lean
To it this time
Ice, now rain on a hot wire
Never survive the strain
I'll climb.

With tears in my eyes
Remembering names
Knowing nothing proof positive
Except for the fact that

I've got a long vacation coming
When and if I come back
down
50 · Mar 2020
repeat for a friend
blowby smells
like gasoline slowly burning
that rarely happens

i once put a small flame
out with gasoline
when i tried to repeat
this magic
for a friend
i nearly burnt down
the entire back yard

it felt
like an emergency
50 · Jan 2020
merepond
going as i see fit
working the inside
wonder as purpose
nearer my self to thee
dreamfuel merepond

relaxed as i near
my path becomes me
color and sound
and bright tastings

follow my fingertips
as they trace
their own ways
through spirit
wandering smile
stardrift and space

eyes wide twinkling
with admired images
of those things loved and loving
their own recreation
in my singular
and most individual mindlight
49 · Nov 2020
grime
now that you're dead (near)
i sometimes look you up on the interweb
it's a ***** little pleasure
i feel like I'm willfully hurting something
my own masochistic munchausen
suicide by installment
i may run the bath all night
grimy
getting to know the ghosts of you
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