The candle flames, oh how they taunted.
Stubborn obstacles to her familiar darkness.
Mockingly swaying with the breeze,
Burning through her sanity; singeing her happiness.

As she toyed with the ashes with her slender fingers,
She stared at the flames till her wide eyes were blinded
Despite the despise she felt toward their existence,
Secretly, she liked their warmth.

In the inferno blazed painful memories,
There was a thin line between warmth and searing heat.
While her lips smiled, her eyes wept.
Never did he look into her eyes; never need he know.

She tried to put them out- a final weak attempt,
Oh how the flames taunted, how they jeered.
Watching them dance through the darkness of the night.
She knew she had to first extinguish herself.

i let myself
go
and disappear
into
the deepest and
darkest
secrets
of the soul
that once was
captured by
the illusion
that i
that i could
go on
and on
there was no
end

i feel light
the air is buzzing
and
the walls are
spinning
there is no
better way
than this
pure bliss
i forget
and forgive
myself for
the things
i could not fix

i breathe
and close
my eyes
there is
no
one
that will
harm me
not anymore
not
when i
not when i
can't feel
no more

Right about mid morning
I somewhat get the hang of it
After my fifth cup of coffee
And a pack of Raisinets

It seems a constant struggle
To keep it in the loop
If you don't hit the daily double
Then your no longer in the groove

The only thing to count on
Out of everything I see
Life is not as easy
As we're lead to believe

If I have a chance to jump
It's mostly in a lake
Not all the time mind you
But more often than I care to say

I've even lost a couple inches
In all my running round
Have I failed to mention
I keep beating myself down

The only thing for certain
In everything I see
Life is not as easy
As they'd have us believe

I've learned the art of waiting
In the waiting line
If patience is a virtue
I've wasted to much time

The way of finer living
Is spinning down the drain
The only thing life's giving
Is more of the same

*It keeps on confounding me
All of this I see
Life is not as easy
As it all first seemed

Was reading past emails again...
got really blushy and embarrassed
just like the first time I ever read your replies...
I wanna cry now... I miss you so badly.
Not the flirting, not your adventures,
but I miss the way you made me feel:
important.
You made me feel like someone wants me for once,
and sees me the way I see them,
in that wonder, with that intensity.
I hope you're okay, mon cher.
I want to be the one that carry your worries,
to help you through tough times.
Sometimes, it's better to worry about someone else
than yourself.
In fact I prefer it.

Did I say I miss you yet?

You're so bad at hiding feelings.
But this you hide from me.
You stopped wearing your heart
On your sleeves for me to read.
Now I have to ask.

Maybe you're not hiding
And I'm the one in love.
I promised I wouldn't fall for you
And crash into your timid heart
With nothing to break my fall.

I'd feel your heartbeat
Shaking me like an earthquake
And I wouldn't know
If you're infatuated Or afraid.
We both don't understand you.

But all I know for sure is this
That It has nothing to do with me
Because I fell in love with a sad girl.

Sometimes your heart needs to be broken
So you can see what's underneath,
To the flicker and flame of your soul
That you've always been destined to meet.

Sometimes your spirit shines brighter
Through the glimmering light of your tears,
And when you arrive at the end of it all
Love will outshine the darkest of years