Every moment is a choice—
and I chose you.
Not once,
but over and over,
in silent seconds
and loud, unraveling days.

I chose to love you
when love wasn’t easy.
When your edges were sharp,
when your silence felt like distance—
I stayed.
Where others might have walked away,
I dug in deeper.
I held on tighter.
I believed.

I chose to see the good
even when the bad tried to steal the light.
I chose to forgive,
to understand,
to wait.
To believe that what we had
was worth choosing again.

And I would still choose you—
in another life,
on another street,
with all the same cracks
and all the same flaws.

But you didn’t choose me.
Not when it mattered.
Not when staying meant fighting.
You chose to go
when I chose to hold on.
You chose duty,
and I understand that.
But still—
it wasn’t me.

And maybe that’s the difference:
I saw love as a promise.
You saw it as a place to leave
when life got heavy.

Caught in the moon's dead white gaze
I’ve paid my dues.in kind,
To be sent off in this black parade.

Come now, swing wide those gates
A myriad of colors drained in white bouquets

Should the rain come,
Wash over the lye stone, erode my face
I’ve cried into the pulpit of my maker’s feet
To weigh my sins against my deeds.

Walk into this hallowed empty
Gray billowing fog upends me
Lost wanders scream but it’s deafening
Can’t hear the sound of their pallid fingers scratching.

Madness incurable—
Dead eyes mercurial
Set upon dim light,
But the veil from here to there is impervious
Birth me like a newborn
Walls clamping breaking my new form.

I’m drifting further out to sea,
In an endless ocean walled off in opaque white
No horizons to warn me of the fall,
The long way down,
Where the magma ravines wait to strip my flesh
Naked and razed, undeterred but afraid
Will I ever see you again?

Let the rain fall,
Impervious skin along the casket door
My claustrophobic bed
Final in my rest.

When your awake
Against your will
It's an encomposing thing
It seems as if
It will not end
Like last orders will not ring
And then the sun comes up
And realise you've slept
Self absorption
Is the crack
Into which
You have crept.

What I want to do to you
Makes the flames blush,
Abashed as they flail in strobing leaps
As the stems of candles perspire
Like sweat dripping down your thighs
Staining and wetting the cobalt blue satin.

Dilated eyes,
Feign fear and stoking desire
Lips part, parched needing liquid
Need to feel the salty, ****
Soft flesh with a veiny ridge
Go ahead and drink, consume
Until my lion groans fill this room
I wanna feel you like a little death,
Babe if I die you better exhume,
Know your place when the makeup races down your face.
Need: the only thing your brain repeats
As your lips retreat and you're on your knees
Spreading love through the parting of cheeks
And I’m in heat, can’t resist
Need a lick of your nectar, a bite of your peach
Suckle all the elixir until it’s clean and neat

Need: the only compulsion in my soul,
Looking at you so spread and exposed
I can take no more of this temptation
*** tickling, your scent assaulting my nose
As I press forward breaking your ramparts
The walls come crashing down,
As the dam breaks and your ocean swallows whole
Until the bed quakes, the floor creaks, the pine aches
And our noises wake the ancients,
Haunting out the window,
Howling in the treetops,
We drink each other down like a shot
And I’m intoxicated by the way your body rocks.

Claw marks on my back
Looking like animal tracks
Lead it down my body til you find the crack
Push a digit in, I won’t push back
Give it all to you - break sound barriers
And watch everything disappear in the room
So **** thirsty for you, I need an ICU
Yeah I see you, the only ***** girl I want to rule
Come and break my rules
A good brat learns fast as the leather cracks
Red heat hand marks painted on your ***
White flesh turned pink to purple.

Need: the only reason you breathe
I’m a drug and you want a fix
To feed your greed.
Just shhh…. Take it slow
Let it slide, feel the glow
Open up your eyes,
Relax your mind,
It’ll be just fine
I’ll take you there
Where flames ballet to blush.

Like a whale moaning with an open maw
I can hear it bounce off the walls—
The slight of your meandering voice
Sounds like shrill shrieks annoying glass
Fracturing thought.

So you dress like a yenta,
You sip on your tea,
Only to spill from the pitcher
In your dealings with me.

Gather like little leeches.
Tiny little parasites,
Sharing their intellect
A hive mine scuttlebutt
But truth eludes like a saline
Filled with antibiotics that cure them
Flushing from the shores of reality
Back in their rumor mill.

Like a whale moaning with an open maw
And I have the spear.