If there's a god,
I hope you hear me.
I'm accusing you,
Present your testimony.

You torture me,
Cut me then watch me bleed.
And all around,
You're rubbing salt in the wound.
I see what I don't want to,
Everyone else found what I was looking for,
And I'm still left with nothing in my hands.

I don't want to be patient,
They say good things to those who wait,
But I think you're a little bit late.
Oh god,
Why do you torture me?

Never could I have guessed the day I'd come to face your smile.
Never could I have guessed you'd run my heart so wild.

I never saw you coming,
Yet I'm so glad you came my way.
Oh what I'd have missed had I missed that day.

Life finds a way to throw a spanner in the works,
Sometimes it breaks your world,
And other times it breaks your view of the world.
I could never have expected the day my days became so much brighter.

I rarely get any peace.
There are some moments,
So brief in the grand scheme that they seem like nothing more than a dream.

I struggle to breath,
Always feeling kept beneath the voices in my head as they try to speak.
My head hurts as it weighs so heavy,
And as my balance falters,
I fall.

All I want is to keep that feeling that I know,
To take it everywhere I go.
I know peace,
Yet so rarely have I felt it.

What is it like?
You who lecture me,
Tell me what it's like.

Tell me again that I don't know love,
Tell me that someday I'll have it.
Tell me it shouldn't hurt this much,
Tell me I'm overreacting.
Tell me that I shouldn't be this sad
Over something I've never had.
Tell me I can't be lonely,
Tell me I have friends and family.

Tell me it all like you know the thoughts in my head,
But not once have I ever said,
"I know love."
No, I know worse.
I know what it's like to fall in love,
Over,
And over,
Yet never once have the chance to keep it.

If I choose to be happy,
Will I be?
Will the world morph from darkness to serenity?
Till tranquility becomes my reality?

If I choose to be a cynic,
Will the world still be able to bruise me?
If I lose faith in joy,
And leave it behind,
Will I find peace in the lack of pain?

I’m tired of being hurt.
I no longer know where my faith lies.
I no longer know if I should believe.

"Are you okay?"

                           I'm always hurt,
                          Always in pain,
                          Every inch of my being
                          writhing.
                          An­d if you could fathom the
                         chaos in my head,
                         So monsterous that I pray you
                        never come to understand it.

                        Every moment of every day my
                        soul cries,
                       And if you looked into my eyes
                       you'd see it all...
                       Everything I hide behind a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I'm fragile.

I don't like the worry in your eyes,
So I put on a smile and tell a lie.
I care more for you than I do myself,
So I'll hide my thoughts, and never ask for help.

Most of you never noticed the cracks at the edge of my smile.
Those who did saw only what I consider mild.

But for those who know,
Next time pull me in close.
Hold me in your arms so that it tugs too tight at my heart...
And I can let myself break.

I'm fragile.