I have within me
a thousand year's worth of want —
and an empty bed

if we close our eyes and i clasp
my hands together really tight, we can
pretend that i’m 7 again

so embarrassed to tell gram that i wet the bed
i smile and nod
through the wetness down my legs

nobody’s home to tuck me in
in a minute i’ll have to get up and take a shower, and then i’ll see
the blood.

every car that’s driving by slows down by our house
the drivers rubberneck into our family room
& peer over the kitchen counter to stare at my naked body,
a fender ****** on route 30

traffic will be backed up for miles

this accident has scars on its arms
this accident has shaky hands
this accident can’t look you in the eye when it says
i’m sorry

in 20 minutes, it’ll all be down the drain
i will send grace pictures
of me when i got my wisdom teeth out
and reassure her that the swelling won’t be that bad

after i clean the knife we can act
like nothing ever happened, until
the next time that i hurt someone
other than myself

My voice slipped out as I slept,
taking the path between rows of white narcissus
to the upturned boat, just port side and starboard side,
no deck, no keel, with the world below and beyond.

It had normally slept in the blanket of my throat,
silent, cupped in a chrysalis.
Now it went up and down upon the earth
filterless, making many enemies, there when I awoke.

I hid my voice inside a bell, but it was only louder.
I stuffed it in the pages of a newspaper, but caged birds repeated everything.
I set it in the hands of my lover, and my lover left, cursing.
I hid it in the sound hole of a guitar and it spoke in every language.

I taught it manners and it died of boredom.
I taught it doublespeak and it ran for high office.
I taught it sanctimony and it attracted a congregation.
I taught it flattery and it was beloved.

Desperate, I taught it poetry and it lay down again in my throat
where my bones fell in love with it.
A doctor diagnosed the shaking as palsy
and prescribed a pilgrimage to Branson or Las Vegas.

I loved you
back in 8th grade

I sent a secret note for you
and you took it
and my feelings grew

but then it got revealed
my number, my name
everything

all your friends contacted me
wanting to know who I was

you said it was an accident
that they stole it and didn't give it back
but you still wanted to know me

I was relieved and hurt
I didn't control my feelings
and I told you it was the wrong number and person

and till this day I regret it
I wished I told you the truth
that it was me

Now I see you everywhere
and I cant help but to still love you  

I still love you

where do all the stolen smiles go?
are they gone forever?
or are they fighting for freedom
from persecution.

Looking out the window
Watching the pouring rain
Wondering when I'll ever see
The sun shine again
Wind blowing through the trees
As leaves fall to ground with ease
Lightning flashes in the sky
As thunder rumbles  and rolls on by
Light a fire to keep warm
Taking shelter from the storm
Mother nature's quite a sight
As I sit in bed and say goodnight
Draw the curtains for another day
And dream the winter nights away

the monarch butterflies
above the sand dunes.

orange and black wings fluttering,
enjoy eternal maps, (no glove compartment)

the smell of ocean salt
in the morning air.

they lift higher and higher
the journey begins
as it has for thousands of years

(the artist's brush)

one morning they fly

a journey of thousands of miles.
the moment that begins and never ends,

sand and sea and serendipity.

So much green tea

Leaves a mark

On the old oak tree
In the courtyard

I may seem stoic in this new situation
and for a while I was fine
then it hit me like a truck
my heart was the only casualty
tears threatened to spill
but I kept them at bay
I'm an adult
but I'll always miss my parents
I just want to hug them goodnight
but 2 and a half hours of driving separate us
I may seem stoic in this new situation
but on the inside my heart aches for them
stoicism is just a mask for the internal havoc of emotions