i am overcome with grief and guilt every time i wash my hands
because i do not know how much of you is left in the fine lines of my palms

Her body is like a flower.
When someone touches her sweet soul, her petals fall and rot.
I'm here to save her from rotting all the way.

i can’t sleep because you told me you hated me in my dream last night.
i don’t want to sleep anymore
if it means a constant reminder
of what i believe to be real
and what you tell me is not.
it felt real
when i was lying there
and the words bounced off your tongue.
“i hate you"

I am full of hellos, welcomes, and home sweet homes.
you wipe your sin on my skin
give me everything you hate about yourself
everything you want to hide
i want to ask you,
how it is so easy for you
to hurt me
to give me your sin
to take away my sweet, sweet, purity
but you are already somewhere else
looking like an angel
by the time I open my mouth.
i am full of hellos, welcomes, home sweet homes and sin.
I am a girl with bruises on her skin
The next time I see you I do not want to feel anything when you look at me.

Heart
as we say
meaning it literally
and you do

hear it when
we speak
for the voice addressing you
is your own

though we know now
that the you
we are speaking to
is not the person
we imagine
yet we go on telling you

day after day of the person
we imagine
ourselves to be

forgetting as we tell you
learning even from joy
but forgetting
and you hear

who is speaking
you hear it all
though you do not listen

i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say. i talk to my cat because it’s the only thing that listens. the blank walls do not seem to cut it anymore. like people, they just sit and stare for all they care i could just die. my cat loves me, he scratches my wrists and brings me bliss, i don’t know how to kiss. my dreams make no sense, so i cling like them, like the sky to the sea,
hoping things will finally make sense to me
i want to understand my  cat
i want it to understand me.
but it like everything walks away.
i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say.
no boys ever want to touch me.
girls won't even look at me the same
if I want your attention
I have to kiss your neck and grab your hips
all my lovers want the same old thing.
I'd rather just meow at my cat.
at least he'll listen to me when i talk.
I shut my eyes and everything makes sense all at once
I think I made you up inside my head
I just wanted something tangible in my hands
and you felt smooth enough to hold.
but my cat scratches on my wrists felt softer than your hand.
I'm starting to feel worse and worse thanks to you
Make me feel like a good person again
make me feel right.
I'm sorry I look at your veins, more than your eyes.
and I'm sorry you never noticed the scratches on mine.
i meowed at my cat but it walked away so i could not understand what it had to say.
I feel like my cat
because you no longer understand.
so I'll just walk away,
I know you don't care what I have to say.

Life's not laundry.
Don't separate
The colours
From the whites.