I feel like a monster
I broke your heart for what I am
And for what it's worth I hate myself for hurting you
I love you that won't change; its the itch I can't scratch
The urges I get when I think of my prey
I don't mean to hurt you or lead you astray
All I ever wanted is what I'm too scared to have
You're the man I hold in my sleep while I devour girls in my dreams please
Forgive me I'm so sorry
It's killing me too

If only I was different,
Would I finally fit in,
If only I was what you wanted,
Would you love me,
If only I could understand,
Would you regard me as me,
If only I normal,
Could you let me live a normal life,
If only I was clean,
Would you reach out your hand,
If only I could be perfect,
Would you understand that I'm not,
If only I could find who I am,
Would you believe that I found me,
If only I left,
Would you realize what I felt,
If only I lived long enough,
Would you finally realize my potential,
What I could have been.

September
returning
burning
after
sleeping
sweeping
keeping
as we are
recalling
falling
leaving
singing
bringing
Autumn's
long
summer
songs

voices
awaiting ...
dating
wings
ones
that
play
say
me
  joyful
sounding
hymns
capricious
whims

  Gehl
tractor's
are
going
mowing
rowing
growing
cutting
strutting
whil­e
bracing
gracing
meadows
and
fields
yields
cruising
using
all
day
gathered
memories
of
sweet
smelling
hay
a lost
waif
in the sky
I sigh

oh I
remember
My
Dearest
September
  the
lonesome
bittersweet
that
humming
drumming
beat
it
calls me
home again
my
waiting
wanting...

Sweet
September
friend.


Cherie Nolan © 2016