No name: Poems

No name Mar 2014

The breeze is kissing my skin
while twirling around the autumn leaves
The fresh rain is cascading all over the park
and now gliding away
it stops.

Sparkling drops are laying softly on the grass
while they're gentley tickling my fingers
With lightly leg movements
I walk through a narrow path.

Yet a flower to see

The petals of a brightly red rose
are beautifully spread out to each side
My fluffy cheecks are blushing by
the smell of the heavenly flower

I feel alive

My coffee-brown eyes are glancing at my love
but he does not notice my existence
I crave for his affection,
yet he does not see me.*

The rain comes pouring down *again...

Crazy

No name May 2019

Crazy

You promised me, you would change
But you stayed in the same lane
Keep telling me that you aren’t stubborn
But you looked the other way and I gave you the patience you didn’t earn
Telling me I’m crazy, I have mood-swing, on my period
Well you shouldn’t challenge me in this moment when I’m serious

Don’t make any excuses for yourself when you started
I couldn’t stand your presence as if you were departed
Departed in my heart, when you made me feel sad
The anger was fighting inside of me, I’m a maniac, MAD
Why do I always have to receive your *******
When you are the one who’s in the wrong, this ain’t it

Give me a BREAK

No name Aug 2014

Give me a BREAK

How can it be that I need to figure out what I want in life already?
My life isn't over and hasn't even begun

I feel the pressure as if someone is pushing my ribs into my chest
I want to live

Why do I feel the need to satisfy someone's needs before my own?
My life isn't over and hasn't even begun

I feel lack of air in my windpipe as if I'm taking my last breath
I want to live

Let me be, who I am and want to become.

#life #breath #break #i #am #become #who

God

No name Mar 2014

God

Are you there?
Are you listening to me?
Are you?

Where are you,
When I need you the most?
Where can I find you?

I am starting to lose faith

Why won't you answer me?
Are you there?

I still believe

Happiness

No name Mar 2014

Happiness

Happiness is when...
I* smile
You smile
We smile

Happiness is when...
I feel satisfied
You feel satisfied
We feel satisfied

Happiness is when...
I love you
You love me
We love each other

*Happiness is when... we are together

I don't know

No name Mar 2014

I don't know

Who am I?
What am I?
I don't know.

What is life?
What is reality?
I don't know.

What is family?
Who are my friends?
I don't know.

What is love?*
Who cares about me?
I don't know.

What do I know?

Playing games

No name Feb 2015

Playing games

Clicking the start button

Game on

You have 3 lives

You, yeah I'm talking to you. You must feel good when you bring me down to my knees. Putting a knife right through my chest and beating me up with painful words. You have tried to take my happiness away and you have succeeded a couple of times... leaving me depressed, desperate for acceptance. Waterfalls were bawling down my eyes. One tear followed by the other. You don't deserve me.

You have 2 lives left

I was not able to fight when the weakness was overpowering my body. I could not stand up when there was nothing to live for, so I thought.
I was thinking to myself, what did I do to deserve the punishment life was overshadowing me with. But Life does not hate on you, it cannot help you, it cannot love you, it is not evil - because life is not a person. Life is just life. People can resent you - your loved can hurt you - your friends can disappoint you. If you chose to let people into your life, your personal sphere, you have to deal with problems and hurt that comes your way. But there are some you can simply not run from. You are in my life.

You* have hurt me and keep doing it. Over and over again.

Curse you

You have 1 life left

I am strong for carrying your burdens with me and still keeping my mouth shut. You want me to change. A new identity is hard to make up and I don't want to be like anyone else, but myself. If I do change for you, will I be happy or will you? I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that question.
I might break down sometimes, because I'm human. If you haven't forgotten that. You cannot justify your behavior. You push me over the edges, call me names and act different when people aren't around, but I chose not to let those things define, who I am.

So guess what?

You lose

*Game over

#love #pain #happiness #hurt #strength #desperation

Reign ♚

No name Mar 2014

Reign ♚

Dear Beloved* Annabeth 14-07-1889

I remember the day thee entered my splendid, unaccompanied realm
Thou awaited me outside the prestigious castle~porch
Casually leaned by the fence that was whorled around
by pure green stalks and fluttering light pink petals... Mmm the scent of daisies.
I was stunned by your presence in my oh so tedious existence
Dear me, thére thou stood in a maroon silk gown with a divine floral print

How could I not get to know thee?

My life~guardians where not much liking the thought of me becoming involved with residents at the vicinity of high repute, I lived in
But thou knew me ~ thou knew me too well ~ I felt so marooned
We had to, we had to become companions ~ without a friendship I would not feel alive
Thou were the only one to make me feel enthusiastic

Ever since I met thee, I kept asking myself; "how was I ever so fortunate to meet such a queen?"

You are my Reign

*Yours sincerely

Strangers.

No name May 2016

Strangers.

Strangers

Why do you tell me that we're gonna make it
Tell me that our relationship is sacred
Always suspected that you faked it

Friends

Every word you said seemed so magical
As if I was the princess and you the prince, so delusional
What was I thinking - should've been rational

Lovers

The fairytale never existed, only in my mind
How could someone like you make me so tremendously blind
The fairytale might not have a happy ending
But at least I got experience from the time I was spending

Strangers

#love #lies #sad #happy #strangers #magical #delusional

The Note ❆

No name Mar 2014

The Note ❆

My hand is wresting on the bleak window ledge
while I reach out my hand to catch a perfectly molded snowflake
My hand is forcing the flake to thaw
as if there is a burning blaze within me

I look out the square~shaped window
and I only see the pure nature infront me
Trees are dusted by refined flakes
and the grass is covered with a blanket from heaven*

I silently close my windowgate

I glance at The Note on the bedside table
I still feel the touch of the handwritten inkletters
The lines are drawn flawlessly onto the almost crumpled piece of paper
He wrote words of love

*I blow out air on the clear pane of glass
and as the pane absorbs the vapor, a cloudy fog appears
With a gentle motion I write "Dear Love"...
with a hope of him recieving my message

The Truth

No name Mar 2014

The Truth

Tell the truth, they say!

Truth will extricate you, they say
Truth makes everything better in its own way
Truth will bring delight to you at last,
It will push away the dead hand of the past.

No, I say!

The truth brings out the hidden,
It must be pushed away ~ forbidden
The truth will only make the scenario worse
It will act on you like a baneful curse.

The truth is not always the right solution, I say!

Unexpected Love

No name Nov 2016

Unexpected Love

Thruthfully I have never wanted to put as much effort in someone
It wasn't until I met you that my life begun
You have the kindest heart, and you share it with me
I've known you only shortly, but for me it feels like an eternity

I laid on your chest while your arms were wrapped around me, the heartfelt love you show
I have never felt so safe in my life, never wanted to let you go
In what way do I deserve someone like you?
My heart keeps beating, for you it only grew

An emotional, passionate and loving soul
Is what you proved to me
You twisted my heart and set me free
Every time I look into your eyes I melt
When you caress my cheeks, I get soft and warm
No one makes me giggle and cry the way you do
Because of the way that I love you

Who am I?

No name Feb 2016

Who am I?

I can't help it!
In my heart I feel so alone
In a crowd of people
Don't feel like home
Something is missing
Even though I have everything
I could wish for

People think they know me
In reality it's all just bluff
They try to understand
Let's face it, they give up
One moment I'm easy to read
The other I'm a Rubik's Cube
Try to solve me
It's practically impossible

People tell me what's right and what's wrong
But in my head it's all just a blurre
I make mistakes - I'm human as you can see
That's life - that's the reality

I'm crazy and weird
I don't fit in
Trying to look perfect but I keep living in sin
An image of a respectful and good girl is
What I want you to see
But the actions fail to prove that fact
That's what I think - what a pity

I respect myself, I really do
It's just the past that haunts me
It tears me apart
I won't be able to forget
In stead I'm living a life full of regret

I'm a mirror with fingerprints and stains
Looking at myself with a body full of cold blooded veins
It's not me I'm looking at
Even though it's a representation of me
I feel so foreign to myself by the actions that I've done, empty

What's wrong with me
Can't I just be like everyone else; normal
Not questioning everything about life?
No, I just had to be like this

Loving myself is one of the hardest things to do
I'm telling you - it's such a pain to go through
Especially when the mirror is almost broken
By all the people who have let me down, cracked it open

Matter of fact - I've let myself down

Who am I, you ask
I have no clue
I might never find out
But as far as I know, I'll try
Try to accept myself
Try to let go of the past
Try to move foreword

Words Really Hurt

No name Mar 2014

Words Really Hurt

You don't know it
but the things you tell me, cuts my Heart
It's bleading, the blood is dripping.
Drip, drip, drip

I try to defend myself
but you won't listen, standing there with deaf Ears
No sound to be heard, only a moving mouth.
Silence, silence, silence

I try to run,
but you keep pushing me down, my Feet are stuck to the ground
I'm forced to listen, I cannot move.
Stuck, stuck, stuck

I try to focus,
but my mind is detonating, the Words are crushing against my skull
They keep coming, hitting me like a ton of bricks.
Pound, pound, pound

The rage inside of me - I cannot handle it.

Please won't you listen?

— The End —