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your past tragedies cradle you like a child,and
i suppose that no matter how hard I try to pull you out of their arms, and into my own, you
will never be able to depart because
being wrapped in tragedies arms is what you think of as home.
it’s a shame that the only thing you’ll allow to consume your mind is pain.
there are drops of Jupiter
in your hair
and
laughing jewels trickling
out your eyes
a harem of moons
hanging from
your pretty ears
constellations your
background music

even when i look at your
night face,
comfort and in peace
i am reminded that
yes,
even the largest of bodies
can be coaxed into their
loving orbit
the lord of worlds
fits inside your
smooth palms
and cancer
is surmountable.
repost from wayback when
 Jun 2018 Skaidrum
Blade Maiden
Dear blame
I carried you for so long
How come you still weigh so heavy on my shoulders?
All I ever wanted was to leave it all behind
and all I ever feared was to leave it behind me
So much that I used to know
emptied by the distance in front of me
behind me lies what feels hard to comprehend
and how seeing my reflection now doesn't feel like some kind of lament

Dear self-doubt
did you know I'm not hiding anymore?
I found peace in these walls made out of run-down things
There are roots now and green leaves grow
I think the way I feel is like a once abandoned building
taken back by nature
But not overgrown, no,
just filled with new life where there was only cold concrete before.

Dear father
you'll never know
And I'll surely never have a reason to tell
I hope you're okay
I'm okay without you
the heaviness doesn't weigh on me any longer
and it took some time for me to realize that this is alright
This girl is alright

Dear mother
your pain always hits closest to home
anger was always yours to portrait
I think I gave you enough, I gave it all
and for what it's worth I never dishonored your pride
if dishonoring didn't mean standing up in front of you
I will forever be angry with you
so my conscious heart left a very long time ago
I had to save myself
I apologize and wish you find peace in your own right

Dear me
I'm so proud of you
Do you remember how we used to look outside?
thinking we'd never made it, no chance
It felt like a silly dream
Is it real?
Did we manage to escape it all with merely some scars and bruises?
I think... I did.
 Jun 2018 Skaidrum
Rob Rutledge
We wage wars with words,
Whetstone sharpened wit.
Wounds win rounds of applause.
A pause,
While metaphors are mustered,
Rusted dictionaries dusted,
Cobwebs shed from unread shelves.
Pikes of pronunciation
Pick apart
Portraits of ourselves.
While poetry parries,
Prose pivots,
Prepares and rallies,
Stares down violet valley below.
The violence of lavender
Shines like silver in the snow.
A scent sentenced to silence,
Flowers on death row.
 Jun 2018 Skaidrum
MsAmendable
We dance in the ashes like
Literary scavengers.
In the ruins and after rages
We draw the shreds of words and pages
Around our naked bodies like Blankets,
A quilt of the quintessential struggle
Which all people suffer
I'm not sure if I posted this before,  but it's have been a while. I wrote this not too long after reading "the Book Theif" which was wonderful
silent silhouettes spoke to me under the silver moon, and
in those moments of remorse, your
bones bled the promises you broke, and
your silence screamed every word you never spoke, the
agony your heart holds crept its way out of its cage, and
in this moment of my weakness, it
maneuvered its way among the rubble and the debris, every
shattered, bent, and broken piece of me, it
somehow found its way into my heart, and
it has chosen to remain, ever since you chose to depart.
you did not pour your love onto me, you
poured gasoline, and
the spark, the
beginning of something I thought would light up my life, lit
me on fire.
I am nothing but ashes now.
every night, we
drew blood from the moon, and
allowed it's silver pools, to
fill the cups in which we drank from in order to immerse ourselves in our own delusions, we

hid underneath a blanket of stars, tending
to the loneliest parts of ourselves, I
would pick the flowers from my garden, and
I would plant them in yours, I

would knock upon doors in your mind, hoping
something inside you would find the strength to open up, but
most of the time they remained shut, and

I have always wandered through forests and oceans, searching
for pieces of myself, yet
within you I found a few, and
I also found something else, within

you I found both heaven and hell, I
found both graveyards and gardens, I
discovered the sun and the moon, and
I discovered it within me too, yet

it seems that often times I misconstrued what you said you saw in me, I
knew that I have always been a tragedy, an
abandoned garden, decaying
and destined to never flourish again, yet

I thought you had found a spot in my ground in which you could plant yourself, in
which you could grow and despite the parts of my garden that are withering away, you
had found a reason to stay, but

I was wrong because the only door you ever opened was one that did not reside in either of our minds, but
a door that was in my life, and
you walked out.
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