Dear blame
I carried you for so long
How come you still weigh so heavy on my shoulders?
All I ever wanted was to leave it all behind
and all I ever feared was to leave it behind me
So much that I used to know
emptied by the distance in front of me
behind me lies what feels hard to comprehend
and how seeing my reflection now doesn't feel like some kind of lament

Dear self-doubt
did you know I'm not hiding anymore?
I found peace in these walls made out of run-down things
There are roots now and green leaves grow
I think the way I feel is like a once abandoned building
taken back by nature
But not overgrown, no,
just filled with new life where there was only cold concrete before.

Dear father
you'll never know
And I'll surely never have a reason to tell
I hope you're okay
I'm okay without you
the heaviness doesn't weigh on me any longer
and it took some time for me to realize that this is alright
This girl is alright

Dear mother
your pain always hits closest to home
anger was always yours to portrait
I think I gave you enough, I gave it all
and for what it's worth I never dishonored your pride
if dishonoring didn't mean standing up in front of you
I will forever be angry with you
so my conscious heart left a very long time ago
I had to save myself
I apologize and wish you find peace in your own right

Dear me
I'm so proud of you
Do you remember how we used to look outside?
thinking we'd never made it, no chance
It felt like a silly dream
Is it real?
Did we manage to escape it all with merely some scars and bruises?
I think... I did.