I took a bite of the forbidden fruit, and
wondered,
why I was dying
wondered
why
something so dark,
so
ominous in its nature
could still be pure
how the devil himself could still have a halo

death is something you don’t realize has captivated you until you’re dead
until the flower by the window has wilted over
until
the milk you just bought has expired
until
the illusion fades away
and you realize
the garden you once planted is filled with tombstones
and
you walk through it
slowly
reading each one
wondering how
things fade so quickly

but the women that showed me graveyards made them seem like gardens
and the man that showed me gardens
made me realize their impending doom

.you,
are like the sun up in the
sky,
you hurt me when I get too close, but
I need you to survive.

but what am I, other
than a pile of bones and some flesh, composed
of past sorrow and debris, watered
with my tears and feasting on the small slivers of sunlight that come from time to time.

I used to never smoke cigarettes, never.
I used to cover my mouth when walking past those who did because,
second hand smoke is just as bad, but
then the light in my gray sky left, so
I found sunshine in the lit end of a cigarette, I
discovered more comfort in clouds of toxins than I would like to believe I found in your arms, I
used to never smoke cigarettes, never
but then I lost you and now I trying to die quicker than ever.