when i hear your delicate words,
and read the ones you've
also constructed on paper,
i want to smash them to bits,
because i know then i will find
the truth inside the broken pieces

**** **** **** **** hell ****
not this again **** **** what the ****
why does this **** **** happen
every ******* time and why can't normal
****** love happen normally like a ****
real life story

It drives me nuts,
I just want to take my brain out
of its cage
and examine every corner,
every nook and cranny
and find what I'm looking for.
Every thing's in there,
it's just a matter of finding it.
I used to remember
the way your hand felt against mine,
as we ran against the world.
Now, I've buried under tons and tons of
heartbreak and equations and dates and everything
wrong and right in my mind.
Now, I just need to grab my shovel and dig.
Now, I need to find it.
Now, I will collapse and cry once I find it again.
Maybe there's a reason why I had buried it all along.

“I messed up.”
I only wish it didn’t
take you this long
to realize.
“Can we talk?”
My whole body aches,
yearning to say yes.
“Are you there?”
Yes, I am here.
“Please answer.”
I surely don’t think
I have that strength.
“I still love you.”
My heart beats,
my stomach churns.
“You were the best
thing that ever
happened to me.”
Funny,
I used to think the same
about you.
“Why aren't you answering?”
“Because for 7 months;
I waited.
You tore me apart,
it felt like I was drowning.
You didn't even look back.
Not once.
How can I just forget that?”
I hit send.
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry too.”*
Except this time,
I don’t hit send.