My mind,
My thoughts,
My paradise lost;
Only you
dearest
reader
dare I let glance in here,
The corridors of my psyché echo
with the voices of friends and family.

My voice resounds in its chamber,
My thought reverberates on these planes,

I tell myself, the only reason I live is for others
because whatever would they think if I died.
Sometimes I wish I didn't exist, which is futile
because I know I am privileged.
Oftentimes I feel I died long ago.

Now I bask in the shower, its stimulus, the hot water
pelting down my back, I feel selfless, egoless, empty,
Questioning existence, bliss, I enjoy it before I turn
down for what, to the coldest setting,  step into it

Bring me back to the time
Where everything felt fine
Where I felt you were mine
And it was not just you
And it was not just me
But me and you together
Where it was us

Your lips pressed against my cheek
Your voice so gentle as it speaks
Your hand lightly brushed my fingers
Oh your touch will always linger
Why do I crave your touch?
Did not realize how I missed it so much

Why am I so scared,
That I'm always being compared?
I know I can never compete
With all the better girls that you will meet

When will I ever see you again?
Will I ever feel wholesomely happy? Not sure if I can
Why are you so distant?
Wish you were here in just an instant

When I close my eyes, I see only black
Then I picture you and I and I wish you would come back
Sit down, lie down with me
So once again I can feel happy

It saddens me how we are not together
Things right now just are not getting better
I just want to be with you
I feel empty and I don't know what to do

I just hope you miss me as well
You have no idea how hard I fell
Your eyes, your touch, simply everything about you is perfect
And I hope my wait for you would be worth it

At least I get to see you in my dreams
Now reality is better than it seems
But dreams are only in my head
Temporary bliss felt late at night when I'm in bed

When I wake up I again feel dead
For I think about all the feelings left unsaid
Why can I not say how I feel?
Why can I not show you what is real?

She waits in silence
Cant help but stare

Wonders if he ever catches her
Its only a gaze that she wished they'd share

Eyes ferry us straight to the heart they'd say
But with glasses thick as his,there was really no way

His gestures harder to read than his eyes
Almost as if trying to block away everything from her sight.

She liked him for she thought of him as an enigma
Hoping she was gonna know him for the better part of what he was worth

She stole glances for  a long time
Till she saw the truth of it ,all right

Just a formality they were
it was just hi and bye and seemed to be that way forever

She grew sick of him after a while
Only with whim would he ever smile

She hates midway stuff to date
Says,its either in or out,nothing else is worth the wait

But every time she thinks what she'd want as a boon
She wants to only know why he makes her heart swoon

He is  her heart's fallacy at its best,
Or is he just a fallacy that she wants more than the rest?