He changed his diet and gave up energy drinks they became his vice after he gave up drinking. He was trying to better his situation. Working with an ego driven lead so many bad moments. Making him want to transfer and not deal with the power trip. He enjoyed his job using what he earned to invest in his supplies for writing.
Instead of eating fast food he would make a healthier selection. Trying to look better and find confidence to ask out a girl that caught his eye. He feared rejection and didn't want to end up in another failed relationship. Not looking for *** but actually trying to get to know a person be able to communicate have a healthy relationship.

Told not to associate with the snitch
Now a days everyone takes pride in doing so
Trying to help out now you talking behind everyone back
Ain't no one talking about you or your ways
Trying to make calls tell people how to live
Get your life together before looking down on others
Talking about others don't make you a better person
Thinking you are better is not the same as acting like you are
Trying to use false narratives to get others to be in your side
Expecting others to be loyal you double crossed them as well
Sooner or later your word holds no credibility
Doing wrong trying to justify it as right
After being ignored no one is fighting to be around
Make it easier to leave without any doubt
Trying to use others as a pond in the scheme
Everyone will know the truth see your true colors
See through the act eventually no one feels bad for you

he said he just ******
off on its leg, but I think
Steve ****** Bullock's horse

The abysm of the unbodied Infinite;
A fathomless zero occupied the world.
A power of fallen boundless self awake
Between the first and the last Nothingness,
Recalling the tenebrous womb from which it came,
Turned from the insoluble mystery of birth
And the tardy process of mortality
And longed to reach its end in vacant Nought.
As in a dark beginning of all things,
A mute featureless semblance of the Unknown
Repeating for ever the unconscious act,
Prolonging for ever the unseeing will,
Cradled the cosmic drowse of ignorant Force
Whose moved creative slumber kindles the suns
And carries our lives in its somnambulist whirl.
                                         --By Sri Auro,Book I,Canto I

When I'm writing
          the
Poem,i'm in synesthesia
I hear the colours
I smell the sounds

How I wish to embrace each day
Meet the Morn with a song in my heart
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey

Despair rises up, much to my dismay
Clouding my judgment and tearing me apart
How I wish to embrace each day

A new day dawns, but still with feet of clay
I succumb to the darkness, wishing it would depart
As depression pulls me into the dull and grey

I awake with good intentions that go astray
It’s a constant struggle that I don’t wish to be a part of
How I wish to embrace each day

Out of the quagmire I make my way
Towards the light, thinking it’s a new start
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey

How wondrous it must be to find one’s way
Rising above the despair and make a new start
How I wish to embrace each day
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey  

Kelly Rose
December 8, 2015