I have a healthy fear of lying
To myself and those around me
Often these lies
They won't die
No matter how hard I try
I just feel like I'm dying.
And it's apparent often, probably.

But I can't help the lies said to me.
No, those I just have to accept.
See when I hear
The things I fear
When death is near
I can't help but worry.
I worry about what I have left.

No it's not too much anymore.
In fact it feels like nothing.
But then I really get it
And honestly you can bet it
Won't be long before I let it
Weigh me down.
Down to a place I never thought I'd be.

Take me away from here.
This house is filled with memories.
With the smells of the past
The sights can only last
I can only hope to leave fast
Cause it's poison.
Yes, this house is poison.

I used to go there for comfort.
And often our vice is our love.
But when my bed
Where I lay my head
Is for another instead
I can't take it.
Even if I think I might want to.

No I've got to get out.
I can't do this anymore.
I need to move along
Sing my parting song
Wave goodbye to all the wrong
And leave.
Because this air chokes me.

It makes my stomach turn
And my lung constrict.
My breath is gone.
There is no dawn
So I have to move on.
For my sake.
And anyone else who's trapped

This house is nothing but sweet poison.
And it's about time I learned how to deal with it.

It's a big world for sure.
There's no doubt about that
And honestly, that's ok.
Except for my loneliness.

What with the world being so big.
It's hard to feel like we belong anywhere
It may not make sense,
But it does I promise you.

Someone wake me up.
I'm stuck in this limbo of nothing
Stuck running laps on an empty track
Sure I cover ground, but why

Something inside me wants more
Can someone give me a thought?
As in, notice?
Cause it feels like there's none

And sure there may be
Maybe this is just my personal drama.
But I feel it nonetheless.
And that's what matters

All I want is to find something different
Someplace where I feel at home
Someplace where I feel welcomed
Instead I just feel stuck.

I feel like I'm inside a fish bowl.
It's clear, and people can see through
But I'm all alone inside
And there's not a corner for me to claim.

See I long to be known.
I long for that person who just gets it
But they're not here yet.
It seems like no one is.

Wait.
Wait.
Wait.

It's all I hear anymore.
Why do I have to wait while they walk by?
Why can't I be the one moving?
Could I even know if I tried?

Maybe.

And maybe not.

I guess I have to just accept it then.
But I will find it.
This thing I'm looking for is out there.
I just wish someone take my hand through the journey.

My thoughts are a mess.
My mind is empty.

I'm scared.

The losses we feel
They overwhelm our very minds
They take our hopes and emotions
Dash them on the stones of reality
And laugh.

They laugh at our loss.
Laugh at what we thought we had
Laugh at our very souls, ripped out.
Theses losses aren't going away
They're here to stay for sure.

How can it hurt so much?
How can something so simple
Feel like a punch to the gut?
Like all my work was nothing?
I honestly don't know.

Someone take it away.
Take away the pain
The excitement
Apathy has to be better than this
At least I think it is.

And our failures compound.
Why can't we just deal with one?
Rather than them all coming
And taking our joy together
One always leads to another.

Failures and loss ****.
That's just the long and short of it
So maybe I'll go numb
Block it out with some vice.
Just to ignore the pain.

Or I won't.
I don't rightly know yet.
Sure it all sounds great when I'm low
But when things change, I'll be ok.
Yeah.
I'll be ok.

Hey again.

It's just me.
I got nothing to say
No games to play
No place to lay
It's only me.

Im here by myself.
My minds full of thoughts
But these thoughts they rot
Cause I'm a lone a lot
Just by myself.

No ones around.
There's no one to hear
What I love or what I fear
It seems they just won't come near
Cause no ones around.

How can they come?
I feel so very isolated
Empty now, my pride's deflated
My emotions seem all too serrated
For anyone to come

Or maybe they do
Even if it's just an hour
Someone decides to pick one flower
And hand it to me and with it power
To go out and do.

To do what I want.
To write my emotions down in song
To take what I have and move along
Yeah my journey may be kinda long
But I can do what I want.

So join me if you wanna.
My heart might feel a bit constricted
My mind might get a bit conflicted
But I'm here to stay, with no restrictions
So join me if you wanna.

Cause I'm done being by myself.
The friends I have are all I need
A love could bloom from the smallest seed
And in that moment I'll be freed
Cause I'm done being by myself

You in?

Yeah I know.
This is supposed to be hard.
This ridiculousness
Has to get me
Thinking I really miss this
thing I felt. She
Ain't gonna be my missis
It should hurt me deep
But it's gone.

See, I feel empty.
Nothing's really going on
My mind tells me to be filled full
Of painful stuff
I should be feeling ill. Pull
My hair out
I should want those pills? Bull.
I don't feel a thing.
Cause it's gone.

That scares me.
It doesn't feel normal.
Why don't I feel oppressed by
This lack of pain?
Should I be feelin stressed? Try
To brush it off
But I really must confess I
Can't see anything to brush.
Cause it's gone.

I guess I can forget.
Maybe I'm really ok.
I can't dwell on the past no
That doesn't work
I can't be living fast though
That's dangerous
But this day could be my last so
I'm gonna move along.
Cause it's gone.

In fact I gotta move.
I won't just sit here.
Maybe I should run away to
Some place nice
Somewhere I can stay. New
Me to be
New kinda way. You
Won't find me again
Cause I'll be gone.

Here. Impress me.
Take your appearance and character
And put it under a stress sheet
It's light enough to ignore
But it keeps away the best heat
It puts up an impenetrable wall
Between where my head and my chest meet.
All the time I'm thinking
What's the way to best beat
This self consciousness we feel
It just seems to oppress me.

But what if I told you
That I'm really not that great
That everything about me
Is the thing that I most hate.
I get wrapped up in myself
And the status of my current state
All the while forgetting
That I don't determine my own fate.
See I don't have the power
To end or create
But I worry and I wonder
And by then it's too late.

See I wanna be impressive
I want people to know my face
When they think of success
I want them to think Sam Chase.
But it's not up to me
What ideas others embrace
No matter how much I try
It's their thoughts and their space.
I can't determine
What they think of my case
All I can change
Is the way I see my own face.

If I let others determine
The worth I see in myself
I might as well give up
Pack up life. Back on the shelf.
Finding worth in others
Is a sure ticket to hell
Cause I abandon who I am
My thoughts I never tell.
Until I pick up this pen
Let go of my shell
There's not a rope in the world
To pull me back from where I fell

So let's try this.

I'm gonna be someone different
Someone I've not been around you
You're gonna see some new things
My emotions might surprise you
You might think I'm weird
Because of the things that I do
But this is me.
I just never let it shine through.
Yeah I have my quirks
That I never show beside you.
Cause I've always been too worried
Too scared I'd be left behind you.

Not anymore.
No today I'm really me
What you get is what you get
What you see is all you'll see
I'm being really honest.
I'm focused on transparency.
I WANT you to see trough
See through to how I just
Be.
I'm not gonna hold back
I'm just gonna try to be free
So you do the same thing.
When I say here.
Impress me.