In your sky you are the brightest star.
So shine, shine bright...
So that others may see the light, amidst the darkness of the journey of life.

N.H.M
April 2019

It's all a game,
One that we can't win.
Because you must be a saint
And I have my sin.
Into the void I must go, where there is no wrong or right.
It's a shame that you can't fathom, "darkness gave birth to the light..."


9.06.19

Candle wax, renegades,
cigarettes, and lemonade.
Maybe it’s time to engage
in our ******* crusade?

Ink wells, stormy skies,
footsteps, little lies.
Revolution in her eyes,
our boats in harbor never tied.

Metal clangs, laying down,
boots soaked, name is drowned.
No longer pushed around
but too dead to make a sound

Be safe
Don’t let them in
Don’t do this again
Remember last time
You let them win
They took over you
And over again

Its still you
Still another day
Your on my mind
You drive me
The drinks the drugs
The random guys
My life
All fueled by you
Everything I do
You're here
In my thoughts
In the back of my life
Driving me to insanity
To pain and loss
I cannot let go
Of it
Of you
Your face
The fact that your still affecting me
Hurts me more
Knowing that I gave you power
And you took it
Smashed it and broke it
With no regard
And now im here
At the bottom of my life
I don’t miss my momma
I don’t miss my old life
Like I miss your eyes
Your validity
The way you made me feel
Its irriplacable
Because its still you
I cant move on
Cant find someone new
While im down here
Missing you
Loving you
I cant stop
Im not brave
Im weak
And scared
That someone else will
Hurt me the way you do
So I do me
I play dudes like strings
Anything to feel a bit of the power
That you gave me
And stole back
Like crack
I do ****** up ****
Everyday
I don’t even recognize myself any more
My voids are to vast to fill
But ******* it I try
Everyday, to do it my way
And forget your face
But you have my heart
And I cant replace what you gave me
And then took away
Maybe someday
Ill get myself back
If it’s the last thing I do
And at this rate
It just might be

She walked into my life through death
as I do CPR compressions on her chest
And i hold my own breath
Praying She will inhale ,as I do my best

As she Crashes time after time
I want to scream and tell her to stop dying
Again I bring her back as her heart I prime
All the while my own heart is crying

8 times she is revive in 2 hours
The defibrillator says shock again
I say please lord show your power
Her eyes open , and meet mine with strain

The ambulance is here and she crashes.  
I try to stand but my legs are rubber
Dear God I speak as lighting across the sky flashes

Today,  three years later
She walks into my Work place
A fishing license she is after
Loving her life , with a  smile on her face

Written by E. M. Rushton