Stockholm

Looking back, we dissect the artist of the past
Attribute societal construct to imagination
Interpret the artist’s perception as consequence of experience
See the world around them, in their time, through their eyes

Imagine what they will say about us
When the future looks back at the time we’re in
What a society they will have to attribute
What perceptions
Of hate and fear, anxiety and isolation

I have seen what wars are made of
That fear burrows and how it distorts
The faces of others, those not like us
Become less than human, and a threat
From that hate begets ******, justified

We know isolation
Anxiety is armor, it keeps us safe
Fear rapes our souls, changes our senses
There is no comfort to seek from those who know us intimately
From everyone we’ve never met until now
The others
What is solidarity anyway
Its easier to live this way

Implosive dreams
Drain my reality
Encumbered waves
Pull the life from caves
My heart beats slow To a stand still
Almost invisible
Fading away
from All that I knew
Forgive me I need me
And never you
Unimportant
Leave me here Alone
but don’t go
Show me you
But not that you
Don’t ask for me
Conditionally
Just give me you
Give me a reason To forget myself
I don’t want to exist
You can do that for me
For me
Do all you can To appease me
Craft my interactions
Because I don’t want the responsibility
I only want to be Who you want me to be
I don’t want to think I want to glide off
Into nonexistence
I need to exist Only in you
I plead you Give me what I need
Give me anonymity
Ignore me
Drive me
**** me
Survive me
Until I am no longer me

Take my Eyes
Take them so I cannot see
Please, take them from me
Cannot bear all the ugly
The sins laid before me
The ghosts behind me
Don’t be modest
Nor scared
Nor guilty
A favor to me
Shut them to the world many years now
Refusing to look at what I might be
They are no good to me
Take them I plead
Save me from having to see

I had to unravel
I had to break down piece by ******* piece
Tear down those rigid walls
Forgo those tight knit bridges
And plummet into my own abyss
Wake up unrecognizable
Welcome the hatred for the person id become
Feel the terror of being outside myself
Bare, raw, uncut
Against all my moral beliefs
I created this tormented shell of a woman
And demanding of her what I could not demand of myself
Bone dry honesty
And I got, I ******* got it
It tore the earth from my feet
The foundation I had relied on
And being someone else, I saw me
In true form
Who I once was, and I was enlightened
She was strong and proud
Honest and unwavering
I admired her courage
But I am no longer her
Now, in my pit
My rock ******* bottom
I know who I was
Who I can be again
And the smallest glimmer of hope shines through
The self-hatred and hopelessness
I will get back to you

Its still you
Still another day
Your on my mind
You drive me
The drinks the drugs
The random guys
My life
All fueled by you
Everything I do
You're here
In my thoughts
In the back of my life
Driving me to insanity
To pain and loss
I cannot let go
Of it
Of you
Your face
The fact that your still affecting me
Hurts me more
Knowing that I gave you power
And you took it
Smashed it and broke it
With no regard
And now im here
At the bottom of my life
I don’t miss my momma
I don’t miss my old life
Like I miss your eyes
Your validity
The way you made me feel
Its irriplacable
Because its still you
I cant move on
Cant find someone new
While im down here
Missing you
Loving you
I cant stop
Im not brave
Im weak
And scared
That someone else will
Hurt me the way you do
So I do me
I play dudes like strings
Anything to feel a bit of the power
That you gave me
And stole back
Like crack
I do ****** up ****
Everyday
I don’t even recognize myself any more
My voids are to vast to fill
But ******* it I try
Everyday, to do it my way
And forget your face
But you have my heart
And I cant replace what you gave me
And then took away
Maybe someday
Ill get myself back
If it’s the last thing I do
And at this rate
It just might be

Be safe
Don’t let them in
Don’t do this again
Remember last time
You let them win
They took over you
And over again

Burned it to the ground
There’s not time enough to explain
For you to comprehend the horror
That befell upon that tower
All you see are remnants
Of a building
That took a century to compose
Built by the locals
From hate and degradation
Had you the fortune to see her
Before the source of light
Lit her a flame
Your breath stolen
Animation devoid
Gaze professed to no other
Would never forget
The pure power that grew
From the aberration
But the light was enough
To reduce all that stability
To ash
But wonder still
If she was created from greater threats than nothing itself
What will she become
When she merely has ash to concur
She toils, I see
Defeat she will not succumb